Thoughts on the Cross

What does the Cross mean? Yesterday I read a description of it in Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, which gave me a deeper perspective. But I want to know from You, Jesus, the One who experienced it. What do you want me to understand about the Cross today? I do not understand. It doesn’t seem like a few hours’ separation from Your Father would cause the agony you went through, both in anticipation and at the time. For You knew the end—You knew that You would conquer sin, be restored to fellowship with Your Father, and be raised again. And that not in a few years or decades or millennia, but in a few hours/days! I know that to You, the eternal God, a day is as a thousand years, so one day of separation You would experience much longer (but also much shorter). Perhaps what I am misunderstanding is that You are outside time. You were slain before the foundation of the world. You were physically slain within time, but were You spiritually separated from Father outside of time? It can’t be, can it, that there is an eternal quality to Your experience of separation from the Father? That would account for Your agony. Help me understand.

Yesterday, when Reesa went to visit her grandparents for a couple of days, I imagined what it would be like for our family if she didn’t come home to us. The sorrow, even in my imagination, is just too great to bear. (Yet I know that, were it to happen, You would bear it for us and with us.) I know that she would be restored to us in Heaven, but how long to wait! How many days that would have to be lived without her! Perhaps my faith in the reality of Heaven is not steady enough, but the thought of one day without her, not knowing exactly when we’d ever see her again, is unbearable. The sorrow of Your separation from the Father must have been infinitely more, but I can’t imagine it. Because You knew, didn’t You? You knew that it would be short, and that You would soon be together again?

Jesus knew … that he had come from God and would return to God. (Jn. 13:3 NLT)

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You know the insults I endure—the humiliation and disgrace. You have seen all my enemies and know what they have said. Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me. But instead, they give me poison for food; they offer me sour wine to satisfy my thirst. (Ps. 69:19-21 NLT)

Yesterday evening I watched an episode of Andy Griffith with the kids in which a spoiled little boy dares Sheriff Taylor to put his father in jail. He is more concerned about not losing his bike than he is about his father going to jail. He has broken the law, but he is completely unconcerned about that and just wants to avoid the consequences. How am I different from that little boy? When I look at the Cross, my feelings are usually something like, of course You did that for me. I take it for granted, not comprehending how much my freedom cost You. I am more concerned that I not lose my peace or joy or comfort than I am about Your reputation, Your suffering for me. Help me to understand. Help me to identify with You in Your suffering! I don’t want to be a spoiled brat who is more interested in my toys than I am in You. I want to know You, to understand what You have done for me and why. I want to know what it was like for You to suffer in my place, not so that I can receive any benefit, but so that I can love You and thank you with a heart of real gratitude.

I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him, sharing in His death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! (Php 3:10-11 NLT)

I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love. (Lk. 8:47 NLT)

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But this is your moment, the time when the power of darkness reigns. (Lk. 22:53b NLT)

For one moment, one short (but eternal) moment, the power of darkness reigned absolutely. There was no God in the heavens watching over the earth. He had turned His back, for there was no goodness left on the earth. Even His beloved Son, whom He has sent, became “the actual embodiment of sin” (Foster, 144). All was dark, and the eternally glad heart of the Father, which until then had never been tainted with darkness, was filled with sorrow.

But they shouted, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” (Lk. 23:21 NLT)

Why the demonic frenzy of determination to kill the one they had so recently praised as the Messiah? The one who had fed them in the desert and healed their bodies? One day they loved Him; the next they mobbed him. What had changed?

“Why? What crime has he committed? I have found no reason to sentence him to death … But the crowd shouted louder and louder for Jesus’ death, and their voices prevailed. (23:22-23)

They gave no reason; they simply yelled louder. All reason, justice, and compassion fled. Evil reigned, even over God. For this moment, He, who many times had easily evaded capture when the religious leaders had sought to kill Him (and many have done so since), submitted to the unreasoning mob—He let us have our own way. How many times do we pray that God would do things the way we think they should be done? For this moment, He gave in. He let us see what the end result of getting our own way would be: total darkness, depravity, and despair. Yes, God would be dead, and we would be given over to our lowest passions until we sunk lower than the animals, even to the level of demons. If God had not intervened, would we have sunk even lower than the demons? For they had been created to be His servants only, but we had been intended as His bride.

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Richard Foster said that the work of the Cross was finished before You died. I had always thought that Your physical death coincided with Your taking on our sin—almost as if my sin had stopped Your physical heart. But the three hours of darkness from noon to 3pm (Lk. 23:44-46) seem to be when You actually bore my sin. This was the “time when the power of darkness reign[ed].” For after that, the veil in the temple, which had separated me from being able to enter Your presence, was torn. As soon as You shredded it, Your work was done. I was cleansed from my sin and free to approach the holy God, made blameless and pure (1 Cor. 1:30).

What did You experience during those three hours? What about it was so dreadful that You begged to be spared the cup of suffering? For the true suffering must have been then, not later when Your body died. You gave up Your spirit triumphantly, like a woman having given birth. You had finished the work You were sent to do and were restored to oneness with the Father. You then went to the grave, shining light in a dark place that had never seen Your light. You preached deliverance to those who had died before You had come. You were then resurrected to show Yourself again to Your followers and went to Heaven to wait until the end of time, when You will return gloriously and establish Your kingdom on earth. But that was later. What happened to You during that moment when You said “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Mk. 15:34), in the moment of Your ultimate suffering and the fulfillment of Your Father’s will? The moment for which You had come was upon You—You had taken it upon Yourself. What was that like?

Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain in the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. (Mk. 15:37-38 NLT)

As You finished Your work, You died. The missionaries to the Auca Indians said that they were immortal until they had completed the work You had given them. Up to that moment, they could not die. As soon as they were finished, they would surely die. This was true of You. You could not, would not die before You had finished the work for which You had been sent. But the moment You had fully atoned for all our sin, You breathed Your last. There was no longer any reason to be subjected to suffering and death. Fully victorious, You released Your Spirit into Father’s hands (Lk. 23:46).

He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care. (Isa. 53:3 NLT)

It was nine o’clock in the morning when the crucifixion took place. (Mk. 15:25 NLT)

Three hours before darkness fell, the nails were driven into Your flesh. What were those three hours like? During that time You were mocked. The fear of God had not yet fallen on those watching You die. Was it like the final waiting before a surgery or execution? Did You pray? Were You beginning, even then, to take sin upon Yourself? Or was it just a dry, dreary time of nothing much happening, just hurting, bleeding, experiencing the physical pain of a broken human body while everyone around You increased Your emotional pain. This was when You had no comforter, no sympathizer to lighten Your burden. You were completely alone and exposed to the eyes of everyone who hated You. Total humiliation. Waiting until the time came for You to begin the terrible work the Father had given You.

… he began to be filled with horror and deep distress. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death … “(Mk. 14:33-34 NLT)

What horrified You? What distressed You so deeply? What crushed Your soul with grief? Was it the anticipation of experiencing my sin? What was it like for One who is Light to be overcome by darkness? For One who knew no sin to become sin?

… it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down … he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! … the Lord laid on him the guilt and sins of us all. (Isa. 53:4-6)

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“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me.” (Mk. 14:36a NLT)

Yes, Your Father could have taken the cup from You. He is unlimited in power and choice—but He chose not to take it away. It pleased Him (was according to His will and desire) to crush You (Isa. 53:10). You were abandoned—not by accident, but by design. Father actually intended to hurt You, kill You, despise You, and turn away from You. How could He do such a thing, even for a moment? To return to my original comparison, how could I ever intentionally turn away from my precious daughter, rejecting her wholly in front of everyone, and cause her pain so great that her heart would tear to pieces? Yes, I could then restore her, but would she ever forgive me? Could the deep wound of separation ever be healed? How could You forgive Abba for doing that to You? In fact, it doesn’t seem that You ever had to forgive Him. You fully cooperated with and submitted to His act of injustice upon You. What reward could ever make up for such a wrong? What could ever make what He did to You okay?

When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. (Isa. 53:11-12a NLT)

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“The time has come. I, the Son of Man, am betrayed into the hands of sinners.” (Mk. 14:41b NLT)

You were betrayed by everyone, not just by Judas. You were betrayed by Your disciples, Your friends, Your enemies, Your own mother, and by me. Most of all (but in a different sense), You were betrayed by God, Your Father, who had willed that it be so.

“My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away until I drink it, your will be done.” (Mt. 25:42 NLT)

Three times You prayed this prayer. You knew that Father could spare You, but You did not demand it. At the same time, Yours were not empty words. You must have been truly asking if there was another way. You continued to submit wholeheartedly to His will, crying out to Him until You knew that You and He were in total unity of thought and purpose. Then You went forth in peace, not defending or explaining Yourself to anyone, because You knew that You were safe in the Father’s hands. He would slay and crush You, yet You trusted Him (Job 15:13). You needed the justification of no one else.

Jesus remained silent … (Mt. 26:63a NLT)

Jesus said nothing … (27:14a NLT)

He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. (Isa. 53:7 NLT)

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“Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly? But if I did, how would the Scriptures be fulfilled that describe what must happen now?” (Mt. 26:53-54 NLT)

You, the living Word, were the fulfillment of the written Word. You could do no less, for the written Word is the expression of who You are. You refused to deliver Yourself, though You could have. Everyone around You thought that meant You were defeated. You appeared weak and helpless. How could God be helpless? If You cannot even help Yourself, how can You help us? And if we do not have You for our help, where else can we turn? We are completely lost without You.

What we didn’t—couldn’t—understand was that this was our help. Our knight in shining armor had ridden to our rescue and, by His death, slayed the dragon forever. This idea was far beyond our comprehension. The only way we can understand it is by looking back at what You did. Though You predicted it through prophets for thousands of years, and personally for three years, we still did not understand. Now, two thousand years later, I’m still trying to comprehend it. Please give me understanding. I will wait on You.

"Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world." (Psa 46:10 NLT)

Jesus, I may not understand, but be honored in me anyway. You are my Lord and Savior.

Akiane

You have got to see this amazing girl! She is the world's only known child binary genius - in both art and poetry.