Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Little Barbers


Rayne and Reesa's favorite game this week
has been playing Barber Shop.
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Their more "normal" selves. ;-)
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Three Munchkins


Rayne, Cedar and Reesa.
Reesa put Rayne's hat on Cedar. Too cute!
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Camping Fun!


We went camping with GoPa and Oma for 4th of July weekend.
The girls loved swimming, feeding the ducks, and splashing!
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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Hidden in God

"For as far as this world is concerned you have died, and your new, real life is hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3).

What does it mean to be "hidden with Christ in God"? How do I live that out in real, practical ways? I mean, it sounds rather escapist, and I have a real, sometimes hard, life to face. I can't run into my room, shut the door, and read the Bible and pray 24 hours a day (though sometimes I'd like to)!

Colossians 3 and 4 actually contains quite practical direction. Here is what I'm gleaning as to how to live a "hidden" life on the rocky slopes of life (see Song of Songs 2:14).

  • Seek the rich, eternal treasures that are above.
  • Set your mind and keep it set on what is above.
  • Kill evil desire, especially idolatry (deifying self and created things instead of God).
  • Rid yourself of anger and rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, foulmouthed abuse, shameful utterances, and lying.
  • Put on behavior marked by tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourself, gentle ways, and patience (the power to endure whatever comes with good temper).
  • Readily forgive.
  • Above all, put on love.
  • Let Christ's peace act as umpire in your heart.
  • Be thankful in every situation.
  • Let the Word have its home in your heart and mind.
  • Do everything in dependence on Jesus.
  • Work heartily from the soul, as for God and not for men.
  • Be earnest, unwearied and steadfast in your prayer life.
  • Behave wisely with non-Christians.
  • Let your speech be pleasant and winsome.
So hiding myself in God does not mean sticking my fingers in my ears and hoping all my problems will go away. It does mean actively seeking, pursuing, inquiring of and requiring God every moment of every day. He will give me the strength, endurance, wisdom, and patience to keep on. Not just to keep trudging along in my own strength, but to live in complete dependence on God, with "greatness and . . . vitality . . . because everything is energized by God" (My Utmost, entry for May 2).

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

God's Way, Not Mine

Interesting that my last posts were about The Land. Since then, we have felt that it is time to take our first real step toward that dream. We are preparing our house to sell so that we can pay off our debts, purchase our land, and reduce our monthly bills. We have been praying that God would show us His way for us recover from the financial emergency that we have been in for the past year, so this is an answer to prayer.

"Behold, I send an angel before you to keep and guard you on the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared" (Ex. 23:20).

We desire to move when God moves and to stop when He stops, as the Israelites did when God guided them with a pillar of fire and cloud. So we are listening daily for His direction.

"I am the Lord your God, Who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open you mouth wide and I will fill it" (Ps. 81:10).

God is "the One with the plan" (Beth Moore, Breaking Free, p. 156). He knows the way much better than we do. He gives us light for our path as we daily seek Him. And He provides for all our needs!

"Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert" (Is. 43: 18,19).

This verse applies to God's larger scheme, but also to the intimate details of our lives. He will direct and provide for us as we "seek first His kingdom" (Mt. 6:33). Not just in an overall sense, but in a daily sense as well. I am beginning to understand this in a new way: it's like a daily briefing. My mission remains the same, but I need to check daily for any updates, corrections and clarifications to my orders. It's simple but powerful. Otherwise, I "may choose a path based on human knowledge and be totally misled. God wants to guide us daily in His own wisdom and knowledge" (Breaking Free, p.156).

"Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Ps. 115:105).

Monday, March 27, 2006

Donkeys


Our neighbor provides the petting zoo.
Donkeys, peacocks, guinea hens, dogs,
cats, cows . . . and they enjoy visitors!

Beautiful Land

I can hardly believe that someday I will wake up
every morning to beautiful views like this!

Our Land


Paul and I spent the weekend camping on Our Land! We had a great time exploring. There were so many places to enjoy: grassy hills, mossy trees, creek, wildflowers . . . we didn't even have time to do everything we wanted to do. We are looking forward to raising our children in such an amazing, fun environment.

My Best Friend

Explorer, Goof, and Great Daddy.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Snow!


It snowed on our land! It's rare for the snow to come this low, so last Sunday morning we drove up to enjoy it before it melted away. It was our girls' first snowball fight! (Cedar was sleeping in the car.)

The barns belong to our neighbor. Don't they look pretty in the snow? We tried to take closeup pictures of the peacocks strutting on the snowy barn roofs, but our camera died. :-P

Friday, March 03, 2006

Favorite Ones

"We aren't individual brides of Christ; we are collectively the bride of Christ. Christ is not a polygamist. He will be married to one bride, not millions. We belong to each other and need each other. We should guard not only our own purity, but each other's. We are our brother's keeper" (Heaven, p. 193).

So that's why it makes sense that I am His favorite - and so are you! He loves and desires us individually as an intrinsic, unique part of His bride. We do not lose our identity, but while we become more truly ourselves, we also become more completely one with each other. He created us to be His friends, for fellowship and community with Him and each other. When, as His friends, we forsook Him for our own way (sin), He upped the ante. Not content merely to restore us to our original state, He gave Himself to us more completely than ever. He decided to rescue us from ourselves and then marry us!

We cannot separate ourselves from each other. We are one Bride. We are connected more deeply than we understand. We must look out for each other, love each other, pray for each other . . . for "we, being many, are one body" (Romans 12:5).

Lord, help me to look at others differently, to love them as I love myself in real, practical ways, remembering that we are intrinsically connected as Your beloved.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

One Thing

A question I have been asking God: If my primary and (in a sense) only desire is to know Him and to gaze upon His beauty, then how should I live? It is not possible to spend every moment of every day in the Word and prayer. Obviously I have to do my work. At times I want to just play, and I feel His smile upon that as well. He doesn't seem to desire or require me to spend every free moment in study, and yet He desires me to abide, to pray continually, and to constantly behold Him.

I believe a key to the answer is here: "When I speak . . . of the multifaceted joys of the resurrected life in the new universe, some . . . may think, But our eyes should be on the giver, not the gift; we must focus on God, not on Heaven. This approach sounds spiritual, but it erroneously divorces our experience of God from life, relationships, and the world - all of which God graciously gives us. It sees the material realm and other people as God's competitors rather than as instruments that communicate His love and character. It fails to recognize that because God is the ultimate source of joy, and all secondary joys emanate from Him, to love secondary joys can be - and in Heaven always will be - to love God, their source" (Heaven, p. 170).

So in everything I do - whether work, play, prayer, Bible study, or relationships - I can continue to see His beauty reflected, to abide in His love, to enjoy Him. He is an amazing God!

"As for the rich in this world, charge them . . . to set their hopes . . . on God, who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for our enjoyment . . . . For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving" (1 Timothy 6:17; 4:4).

Thank you, Lord, for all Your good gifts: for games and family and friends and food and shopping and good books. Thank you that You delight in our enjoyment of Your gifts. They just make me want to climb into Your lap and enjoy You some more, because they show me how much You love me and how fun You are. I am excited about spending eternity with You: playing, laughing, singing, loving. Relishing life together. Let's start now!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Heaven

To come to Thee is to come home from exile, to
come to land out of the raging storm, to come to rest
after long labour, to come to the goal of my
desires and the summit of my wishes.
-Charles Spurgeon

Today I started reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn, and already I'm captivated. Freed to imagine what the future holds. To know that the longings I feel when I look at the vast night sky or the surface of the unfathomed ocean will one day be satisfied. What will it be like to live in a new Earth, one free from pollution, decay and death? To climb the highest mountain in my athletic, Olympian body just to experience the view. To feel the warm, fragrant humidity of a tropical jungle on my skin. To sip a cup of tea at an outdoor cafe, delighting in the plaintive tones of an unseen street musician.

Paul and I went to see End of the Spear last night. I feel challenged to live my life for what really matters - eternity. The missionaries who gave their lives to pursue the hearts of an obscure, dwindling tribe personify what C. S. Lewis said: "If you read history, you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were just those who thought most of the next." They did not value their own comfort, even to the point of death. Knowing that they were ready for heaven, they were willing to die if necessary to reach those who were not.

Oh, that I might live like that! And I barely even know my unsaved neighbors. But I won't waste time regretting lost opportunities. I will "set my mind on things above" to cultivate an eternal perspective (Colossians 3:2). And I'll ask the Lord for creative ideas and an open heart so that His love might reach someone through me.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Delightful Journey

"We presume that whatever is unpleasant is our duty! Is that anything like the spirit of our Lord -- 'I delight to do Your will, O my God . . . ' (Psalm 40:8)" (from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, entry for January 29).

What I keep hearing today is that the work of life -- the laundry, etc. -- has to be done, but it's not what I was made for. So while I need to get it done, I don't need to structure my life around it. Instead, I need to schedule it around my life! I am made to be a worshipper. So the very first priority of my day is to spend time with God, and then everything else. Even in caring for my children, my first priority is to teach them to worship God. If these are truly my priorities, then that should be reflected in my everyday schedule.

So today I changed around my schedule to make room for going to RHOP more often (the Roseville House of Prayer -- an amazing place where you can go almost anytime to pray). I let the girls get up earlier so we could have worship time together while I fed Cedar. We read from Jesus Wants All of Me, which is the kids' version of My Utmost for His Highest. Then we read Matthew 6:33, 34. I told them about how God takes care of us. (I needed to hear that today too, as our financial situation is a bit strained this month.) We prayed together and sang a made-up song about God taking care of us. Then they read books on my bed and we listened to the Bible on CD while I finished feeding Cedar. After that, we got dressed, ate breakfast, I checked my email and put in some laundry, and we went to RHOP. I refused to let myself stress about how everything else will get done. Today we've put the most important things first. God will take care of the rest.

Every day has its own needs, so I have to be led by the Holy Spirit each day. I can't force what worked today to work every day (making a law of my schedule). It's a helpful template, but I have to keep listening to Him. After all, that's the way He wants it. He only gave enough manna to the Israelites for each day. He didn't want the sacrificial system:

"Sacrifice and offering You do not desire, nor have You delight in them; You have given me the capacity to hear and obey. Burnt offerings and sin offerings You do not require" (Ps. 40:6, AMP).

Nor did He want to give Israel a King:

". . . [T]hey have rejected Me, that I should not be King over them" (1 Samuel 8:7).

He wants me to be completely dependent upon Him alone. He wants to write His word on my heart (Proverbs 7:1-3). It is I who demand rules, schedules, and plans to take the place of listening to Him. It allows me to feel more in control. I want to wean myself of having to be in control and let my plans be submitted to His direction every day, even every hour when needed.

"Get into the habit of saying, 'Speak, Lord,' and life will become a romance (1 Samuel 3:9)" (from My Utmost, entry for January 30).

My life is so much more delightful! I love this journey that He has me on. I love feeling like my day is under control -- His control, not mine.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A New Vision

A family of God
Loving
Worshiping daily
An atmosphere of invitation
Presence
Anything can happen
What next, God?
We're listening for Your footsteps
To be with You
Now

Thursday, January 19, 2006

At the Zoo

We went to the zoo to celebrate Rayne's birthday with her cousins. The giraffe posed next to the ruler so we could see how tall he was while his friend peeked out. The lion was napping when we approached, but then he woke up and looked at us. He even yawned!

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My Kids


Three beautiful children!
Reesa, 19 months
Cedar, 8 weeks
Rayne, 3 years
I am blessed.
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Friday, January 13, 2006

Boundaries

Speaking of boundaries, I received the book Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend as a baby shower gift. I started reading it today, and already I'm convicted! Here are the "Obstacles to Teaching Boundaries" (I identify with every one of them):

  • Depending on the Child - "Am I afraid that if I say no to my kids, I will lose the love I need from them?" I'm not afraid to say no, but I do fear their anger or disappointment. So I tend to avoid situations that will cause them much discomfort. I am so afraid that they won't understand that I love them. However, that is their choice. I need to be firm and let them experience the consequences of their choices.
  • Overidentifying with the Child - "Parents are commonly unable to delay their children's gratification because they overidentify with the child's feelings. . . . If you find that you are unable to bear your child's pain, you may be projecting your pain into him."
  • Thinking Love and Separateness Are Enemies - "Many parents . . . fear that disagreeing, confronting, or simply being different from their children indicates a break in the connection. . . . The reality is that love and separateness go together and one doesn't threaten the other. In fact, to the extent that you can be separate from someone is the extent to which you can truly love him or her."
  • Ignoring and Zapping - "She was putting up with inappropriateness, hoping it would go away. Instead, it escalated. At the same time, her resentment was growing. Finally, all the truths she had neglected to say boiled out at one time. . . . [B]ecome an early confronter . . . . It helps you to prepare your child for real life, in which she will not get everything she wants, no matter how hard she tries."
  • Being Worn Down - "We empathize with parents who figure, 'Oh well, I'll give in this time . . . . It's just not worth the fight.' And that may be true on some occasions. But each time you let them neglect responsibilities, the child's ability to be a self-controlled person is eroded."
This statement was a revelation: "Remember that parenting is a temporary job, not an identity. [Really?] Kids with parents who have a life learn both that they aren't the center of the universe and that they can be free to pursue their own dreams."

I can see that I need a lot of help! I identify with my children way too much. I do have a hard time seeing myself as separate from them. Holy Spirit, change me. It will make for a more peaceful home, children who are more responsible and capable, and a more enjoyable life for me!

Mary and Anne

I have finished reading Unafraid by Francine Rivers. It gave me a new perspective of Mary and Joseph, and one that I feel lines up very well with the information we have about them in the Bible. I realized that, while an angel appeared to Mary once, Joseph had four encounters with angelic messengers. The obvious implication (that I've never before noticed) is that God was leading the family through Joseph as the head of the family. I've always wondered what Joseph's role really was, since he wasn't Jesus' biological father. By giving direction through Joseph, God affirmed his role as the leader and protector of Mary and Jesus. I'm also grateful that God gave Jesus an earthly father and Mary a husband for another reason. If He hadn't, Mary and Jesus would be the ultimate example of the current feminist ideal: a family that doesn't need the participation of a man as father or husband. Praise God, He demonstrated that family and marriage are vital to His plan for us, as He included them in His plan for His Son.

Another thing I appreciated was that Mary had a heart after God. I've always thought of her as a rather unsuspecting young girl. But Mrs. Rivers depicted her as one who loved God and interceded to see His will done on the earth. By her lifestyle, she invited God to use her to carry out His plan. I feel that this view of her is validated by her response to God's invitation when the angel appeared to her (see Luke 1:26-38). Also, her response to Elizabeth (Mary's Song) in Luke 1:46-55 shows a knowledge of God and concern for the destiny of His people that could only have come from relationship with Him. This challenges me to be one who lives a life of invitation for the Holy Spirit to work in and through me. Who knows what amazing adventures I may be privileged to join in!

After that, I read Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery. I was laughing out loud in several places. I love her characterizations of people. No one is perfect, but (almost) everyone is lovable anyway. I never get tired of reading the Anne books.

By the way, I am feeling much better. Thank you for your love and prayers. God has been leading me to establish better boundaries in my life, especially setting aside time separate from the kids to pursue my own dreams and interests. Most of all, taking the time to pursue Him as my heart desires. My favorite verse right now is "Blessed are they who ... seek, inquire for and of Him and crave Him with the whole heart" (Ps. 119:2 AMP). I know that God would not give me this great desire and delight in Him and His Word if He did not have a way for me to satisfy my craving. Already He has shown me ways to have set-aside times with Him during my day. It doesn't look the same every day, but as I allow my heart to feel it's desire for Him and daily ask Him to fill it, He makes a way for me find time to connect with Him. I'm also learning to listen for His whispers of love in the midst of the busy-ness of life. All in all, I learning that it is possible to be a Martha (getting things done) and a Mary (sitting at Jesus' feet) at the same time. I'm loving this journey!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

RSS Feeds

Paul showed me a very cool feature. You can have your favorite blogs emailed to you when they're posted. All you have to do for the Blogger blogs is add atom.xml to the end of the blog's URL. For example, mine is http://www.medytations.blogspot.com/atom.xml. So you can go into your email client's newsgroups and blogs feature, add a new feed, and use that URL. Then you will be emailed whenever I update my blog!

Postpartum

Tears keep coming at every little thing, and yet I seem unable to feel much of anything. I think I'm experiencing postpartum depression. I'm exhausted, yet I keep plodding along. With three little ones, I just have to. My dear husband is working hard to arrange for me to have some time to rest and be refreshed. His mother just came by and picked up the girls for the day and overnight. And my mom is going to watch them tomorrow. More than anything, I just want quiet and no one needing me. I can't help being needed by Cedar, since he's only five and a half weeks old, but he sleeps all the time so it's pretty restful to be with him. God keeps reminding me that "he gives sleep to his beloved" (Psalm 127:2).

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance" (Psalm32:7-8).

Monday, January 02, 2006

Settlers of Catan!

Our New Year's celebration was fun. My family converged upon my sister's house for computer and board games. I played three long (3-hour) games of Settlers of Catan with my sisters, my mother, my grandmother, and a family friend (we call this game our family addiction). Twice we played it with the Cities and Knights expansion, and once with both the Cities and the Seafarers expansions. I realized that I love playing board games so much that it doesn't actually matter if I have fun. We played the first two games on New Year's Eve. I really don't know how I won the first game, since I was hardly at the table for jumping up and down to take care of my kids. It felt so chaotic, I could hardly concentrate. The next game was quiet, as the kids were in bed, but I did horribly that time. But the last game, on New Year's Day, was lots of fun, reminding me of why I like playing games in the first place. We got to play, tease, chat, and generally enjoy each other a lot. And I won again!

Paul enjoyed discovering a new Playstation 2 game, Burnout 3: Takedown. He can't stop talking about how much he loved causing huge, multiple vehicle pileups (for points) and driving like a maniac. He also entertained the kids by watching some of his favorite movies and shows with them - Superman and Batman, both live action and animated. The kids think he's the greatest daddy and uncle!