By the way ... thank you

While I'm on the subject of Thanksgiving, I want to say thank you to those of you who have been praying for our adoption expenses to be met and those who have given to help us. I am happy to report that we have received enough money to pay the lawyer! We know that the Lord will provide the rest at the perfect time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here are some pictures from Thanksgiving. We had fun fellowship with Paul's parents and grandparents, Vivie and Chimere Bussey, Chimere's dad Finis, and Marya Morgan. TONS of yummy food. Some of us played two games of Mexican Train while others enjoyed the movie Ratatouille. And we all fit at the new table for dinner!

Second Best?

Daughter,

You are precious and beloved. I have longed and prayed for you many years before you were born. In no way could you ever be considered second best in my heart. Beautiful flower transplanted into my garden, if anything, I may tend to spoil you a little because I want to make sure that your roots are firmly established in the soil of love.

One emotion that I was not prepared to feel, though, as your mother, is fear. How you will see me as you grow into a woman? Will you love me? Or will you resent me? I have chosen to be your mother, but you did not choose to be my daughter. I am sure that you will wonder about the one who gave birth to you. It is a normal and healthy thing to do. I hope that you will love her and be blessed with a close relationship with her. I am glad that we have an open relationship with her so that you will always have all your questions answered and, I hope, all your heart's needs fulfilled.

But where does that leave me? Am I the "other" mother? Does that make me less? Am I second best? One night as I prayed to have my heart unlocked toward you more fully, the Holy Spirit revealed this fear lying deeply in my heart. I heard His gentle whisper,

"So what if you are second best? Will you love her any differently?"

There you go. My fear out in front of me, waiting to be dealt with. How would I answer? There was no hesitation.

"No, I will not love her any differently. Whether or not she ever returns my love, I will love her with all my heart."

So, my precious pearl, I am yours forever. No matter what you choose to do with my heart, you have it today and forever. You always have, and you always will. I love you.

With all my heart,
Your mommy

Dedication

This morning we dedicated our babies! I loved how Pastor Bob pointed out that the little children were brought to Jesus during His earthly ministry, and we are continuing to do the same. Yes, Lord, bless our babies and make them Your own!

What made it extra special is that our friends Junius and Melissa dedicated their daughter Naomi at the same time. Johnny and Gina dedicated their youngest two, Hannah and Luke!

Asking for a Miracle

I hesitate to write this post, as I have posted so rarely in the past few months, and several of the last few posts have included requests for money. There are other things I would much rather talk about, and there are pictures to post. We are all growing and learning and adjusting to being a big family. Many of the things that I love to do have gone by the wayside lately, such as journaling, blogging, playing piano, reading, taking walks, and spending time with friends. Instead, I am feeding and caring for the babies 24/7, home schooling the older three children, and trying to keep up with Kole's constant busyness. And I don't regret it one bit.

However, as I prayed this evening for wisdom and direction regarding our financial situation, I felt that perhaps it is time to let others know again of our need. I know that God is giving many people a heart for adoption. There are so many children who need a forever home. We have stepped out in faith to open our home to one of them. God miraculously provided the up-front money we needed without our having to ask, but for whatever reason it is not so easy on this end of the process. Perhaps He is testing our faith. Will we trust Him no matter what? We are determined to do so.

So here's the deal. In order to finalize Alana's adoption, we need $800 for the last two post placement visits and $500 for finalization fees. In addition, today we received a bill from the lawyer in Louisiana for $1000 on top of what we have already paid him. As his job is not yet done, we expect we will owe him more before it's all over. This came as a total surprise. We had been told that the amount we paid up front would probably be more than enough. And we simply do not have the money for these expenses, despite the fact that we are constantly adjusting and trimming our budget.

Many people have already helped us with Alana's adoption. We are so grateful. I am not asking anyone to do anything that they cannot do. I am simply asking God for a miracle. In reality, this is such a small thing. Our Father, who created the heavens and the earth, can take care of it in a moment. So the issue is not whether He can. We know He can. And it is not whether He will. We know He will! The issue is whether we will trust Him.

". . . [O]ur God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us. . . . But if not, let it be known to you . . . that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up" (Daniel 3:17-18, NKJV).

We will not bow down to fear. No matter what, we WILL trust Him! We have taken a stand for righteousness. He will be faithful.

"In You, O LORD, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame" (Psalm 71:1, NKJV).

Thank you for your understanding.