Here is an excerpt from a letter that I sent to our baby's birth mother recently that I would like to share with you as well:
Over the past few months as Paul and I have gotten to know Alana, prayed for her, and asked God what He says about her (as we do for all our children), we have constantly gotten the impression that she is His treasure, His crown, his precious pearl. We speak and sing this identity over her every day. We are so honored to be entrusted with someone that He prizes so highly.
One thing that we have realized during this time is that we feel the need to give her a name in addition to the beautiful name that you gave her. As her parents, we want to impart to her an identity as part of our family. We feel that if we do not name her ourselves, we will not be giving her what is her right as our child: a name from her parents' hearts and from God's heart to her through us. We have been praying about this and felt led to these verses in Isaiah 62, "... You'll get a brand-new name straight from the mouth of GOD. You'll be a stunning crown in the palm of God's hand, a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God" (verses 2-3). We were amazed that so much of what the Lord has spoken to us about her was right there in these verses! We looked up the Hebrew word for crown and found the name we were looking for: Atarah, which means "crown."
I hope that you understand our hearts in this. We still love Alana Michelle and will keep those as her middle names. We believe that God spoke those names to you as an important part of her identity. And He used them to help us know that she was meant to be our daughter! We will simply add another name and she will be Atarah Alana Michelle. (Plenty long name for a little girl whose life is already making a big impact!)
We heard back from Jennifer soon after sending the letter, and she told us that she loves the new name! Atarah likes it too. We call her Atarah, Alana, Tah-Tah, Precious Pearl, Princess, etc. God is good!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Christmas 2009
We had a fun Christmas celebration at the Stroups' house. It's always fun to see all the cousins together.
Day in Tahoe
Laura gave me the BEST birthday present ever! A whole day alone with my best friend!! She (with Grammie and Grampie, who came to help) was quite on top of things at home with the kids while we escaped to Tahoe for the day.
The sun was too bright so Paul was hiding behind me.
He tried valiantly to open them ...
... to no avail. I gave up. We had a good laugh though.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I Will Trust You
How to even express what I am thinking? I am grieving for Derek's wife Renee, for his children, for his brother and sister-in-law, for his nieces and nephews, and for the rest of his family and community. But I am also grieving for myself. I lost a hero this week. He was more than a preacher I heard once. He was a knight in shining armor, riding fearlessly into the dragon's cave and rescuing damsels in distress. He was a husband adored by his beautiful wife. He was a father who poured out his heart for his children. The frustrating thing is saying "he was." Why am I not saying "he is"? He should still be here with us. Still riding out ahead, still making wrong things right, one life at a time.
To quote Randy Bohlender, "This really stinks."
"God, help me understand! What are You doing? What are You thinking?" These are the questions that have hit me really hard today.
Derek still "is." To put it in Jesus' words, Derek has fallen asleep. But then why can't we wake him? Why can't he wake up tomorrow, kiss his wife, swing his kids around in his arms, and venture out to save the world again? For one simple reason: he "is," but he is not "here." "Here" is where we want him to be. God, send him back! Why did you take him now?
I feel like I'm looking at a picture of reality from one perspective. From here it looks like sadness and tears. The colors are flat, dark, and dreary. If I could just tilt my head a little one way or another I would see in 3D and the picture would suddenly become breathtakingly beautiful. It would be infused with light and color, and all the darkness I see now would become the contrast against which God's perfect plan would shine more brightly.
One question that I have heard whispered in my soul is this, "Who are you trusting in?" Oh, that hurts to hear, but there is comfort in it too. Whose job is it, really, to care for Renee and her children? Ultimately, it is God's. He is their true joy, their true protector, their true provider. He is the rescuer of the innocent, the comforter of the brokenhearted. Derek was bright because His Spirit shone through him. And HE has not left them. He will not.
You WILL NOT forsake them. Never. Not ever.
And so, though the picture has not yet shifted for me, I will trust You.
To quote Stephen Curtis Chapman, "Though this first taste is bitter, there will be sweetness forever."*
Let forever come.
*(From "Our God Is in Control" on the album Beauty Will Rise.)
To quote Randy Bohlender, "This really stinks."
"God, help me understand! What are You doing? What are You thinking?" These are the questions that have hit me really hard today.
Derek still "is." To put it in Jesus' words, Derek has fallen asleep. But then why can't we wake him? Why can't he wake up tomorrow, kiss his wife, swing his kids around in his arms, and venture out to save the world again? For one simple reason: he "is," but he is not "here." "Here" is where we want him to be. God, send him back! Why did you take him now?
I feel like I'm looking at a picture of reality from one perspective. From here it looks like sadness and tears. The colors are flat, dark, and dreary. If I could just tilt my head a little one way or another I would see in 3D and the picture would suddenly become breathtakingly beautiful. It would be infused with light and color, and all the darkness I see now would become the contrast against which God's perfect plan would shine more brightly.
One question that I have heard whispered in my soul is this, "Who are you trusting in?" Oh, that hurts to hear, but there is comfort in it too. Whose job is it, really, to care for Renee and her children? Ultimately, it is God's. He is their true joy, their true protector, their true provider. He is the rescuer of the innocent, the comforter of the brokenhearted. Derek was bright because His Spirit shone through him. And HE has not left them. He will not.
You WILL NOT forsake them. Never. Not ever.
And so, though the picture has not yet shifted for me, I will trust You.
To quote Stephen Curtis Chapman, "Though this first taste is bitter, there will be sweetness forever."*
Let forever come.
*(From "Our God Is in Control" on the album Beauty Will Rise.)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Changing Perspective
My Daddy sent this to me in response to the news about Derek Loux. What an amazing earthly father I have.
There was this guy that came by and told everyone that they needed to change the world one child at a time. I missed it. I wasn't there to hear him but my oldest daughter and her husband tried to explain how the little flame that had been in their heart had been ignited into a torch by this guy. I kinda understood what they were saying and what they were were about to do but I was so unsure. But because I have full confidence in their ability make mature decisions and to hear God I was able to jump on board their adoption adventure. Soon after they adopted Alana, a newborn. She is beautiful, then a month later they birthed their 6th child. A little boy they call Tayan. I'm beginning to get it now. These kids need them! Need people like them to protect and love them.
I remember long ago having the feeling like we could adopt and do something special for someone. It didn't work out for us but I remember the feelings and the desire to make a difference in a child's life. But that was so long ago... Our other daughter is now pregnant with her sixth and they are looking at adopting another! This all seems so backwards. Aren't families getting smaller. Giving more to less? And the risks; they are so many, the work is so hard, the future is so dim, but they do it anyway! Why? Cause it is the direction God is sending them? Cause one child needs them to do the unusual. Cause they have hearts as big as the moon and my kids cannot just standby and do nothing so they take responsibility for others children with no needed or expected compensation. I think I'm am getting there.
No I didn't hear that guy speak but I do see his words. Why do I even bring it up? Cause I was just listening to his song today. It was a song of a lonely child that needs to be cared for and loved. As I watched the slide show on his website the words of the song sliced my heart. Pictures of his wife and many kids passed by, then the whole family transitioned to the top and he looked proud and strong. This man had set the pace. He raised the bar for us all. I wouldn't have even taken the time to listen to the song except I heard of the accident and I remembered he was the one who inspired my family. He died this morning and I had to know who he was so I went to his website and.... well I know many will cry and some will wonder why, but all are blessed because he was here.
By the way, Daddy, we are following your example of always giving yourself for others. You led the way. We are simply taking it the next step. Love you!!!
There was this guy that came by and told everyone that they needed to change the world one child at a time. I missed it. I wasn't there to hear him but my oldest daughter and her husband tried to explain how the little flame that had been in their heart had been ignited into a torch by this guy. I kinda understood what they were saying and what they were were about to do but I was so unsure. But because I have full confidence in their ability make mature decisions and to hear God I was able to jump on board their adoption adventure. Soon after they adopted Alana, a newborn. She is beautiful, then a month later they birthed their 6th child. A little boy they call Tayan. I'm beginning to get it now. These kids need them! Need people like them to protect and love them.
I remember long ago having the feeling like we could adopt and do something special for someone. It didn't work out for us but I remember the feelings and the desire to make a difference in a child's life. But that was so long ago... Our other daughter is now pregnant with her sixth and they are looking at adopting another! This all seems so backwards. Aren't families getting smaller. Giving more to less? And the risks; they are so many, the work is so hard, the future is so dim, but they do it anyway! Why? Cause it is the direction God is sending them? Cause one child needs them to do the unusual. Cause they have hearts as big as the moon and my kids cannot just standby and do nothing so they take responsibility for others children with no needed or expected compensation. I think I'm am getting there.
No I didn't hear that guy speak but I do see his words. Why do I even bring it up? Cause I was just listening to his song today. It was a song of a lonely child that needs to be cared for and loved. As I watched the slide show on his website the words of the song sliced my heart. Pictures of his wife and many kids passed by, then the whole family transitioned to the top and he looked proud and strong. This man had set the pace. He raised the bar for us all. I wouldn't have even taken the time to listen to the song except I heard of the accident and I remembered he was the one who inspired my family. He died this morning and I had to know who he was so I went to his website and.... well I know many will cry and some will wonder why, but all are blessed because he was here.
By the way, Daddy, we are following your example of always giving yourself for others. You led the way. We are simply taking it the next step. Love you!!!
Please pray for the Louxes
I am heartbroken today for Derek Loux's family. He died in a car accident. You can read about it here.
Derek came to our church last year and spoke passionately about orphans, adoption and human trafficking. It was at that meeting that the Lord confirmed to Paul and my hearts that we were to begin the process of adoption. As a result, we have been blessed with our beautiful daughter, Atarah Alana Michelle. I just talked with a friend who also adopted this year, and she said that the Lord put adoption on her and her husband's hearts as a result of his message that night as well. It was not only his words but the fact that he lived out his message that made it so compelling.
Some of the things that he said have never left my heart. One was his encouragement to say YES to God regarding caring for widows and orphans according to James 1:27 and Isaiah 58. To go ahead and go for it even if it seems impossible (in our situation, already having four young children, and as it turns out, also getting pregnant partway through the process). God is our good shepherd, he reminded us, and He won't give us more than He gives us the ability to handle. So He will close doors if needed.
Another one that we often laugh at (as we relate all too well) is that he would rather say a few cuss words now and then by being stretched with a challenging life than live safely and never allow his character to be tested as he lives all-out for God. (He said it much better than that, of course.)
And, my husband's favorite, "I am no good at selling myself, but I can sell orphans. Wait, I didn't mean that the way it sounded."
I can't help but think how wrong it is that the family of such an outspoken advocate for widows and orphans now has lost their own husband and father. But I saw on their blog that they were recently able to go on vacation together as a family. My heart is comforted with the evidence that God was not surprised by this, as He gave them sweet times together just in the past few weeks. I am praying that He will use Derek's passing to WREAK HAVOC on Satan and all his diabolical plans.
Please keep this precious family in your prayers.
Derek came to our church last year and spoke passionately about orphans, adoption and human trafficking. It was at that meeting that the Lord confirmed to Paul and my hearts that we were to begin the process of adoption. As a result, we have been blessed with our beautiful daughter, Atarah Alana Michelle. I just talked with a friend who also adopted this year, and she said that the Lord put adoption on her and her husband's hearts as a result of his message that night as well. It was not only his words but the fact that he lived out his message that made it so compelling.
Some of the things that he said have never left my heart. One was his encouragement to say YES to God regarding caring for widows and orphans according to James 1:27 and Isaiah 58. To go ahead and go for it even if it seems impossible (in our situation, already having four young children, and as it turns out, also getting pregnant partway through the process). God is our good shepherd, he reminded us, and He won't give us more than He gives us the ability to handle. So He will close doors if needed.
Another one that we often laugh at (as we relate all too well) is that he would rather say a few cuss words now and then by being stretched with a challenging life than live safely and never allow his character to be tested as he lives all-out for God. (He said it much better than that, of course.)
And, my husband's favorite, "I am no good at selling myself, but I can sell orphans. Wait, I didn't mean that the way it sounded."
I can't help but think how wrong it is that the family of such an outspoken advocate for widows and orphans now has lost their own husband and father. But I saw on their blog that they were recently able to go on vacation together as a family. My heart is comforted with the evidence that God was not surprised by this, as He gave them sweet times together just in the past few weeks. I am praying that He will use Derek's passing to WREAK HAVOC on Satan and all his diabolical plans.
Please keep this precious family in your prayers.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Perspective
Today I read this article about an adopted three-year-old daughter. It touched my heart and immediately I began praying for both mother and daughter. Then I read this article, which helped me to see things from God's perspective. Lord, bring justice to Emma and all children who have been abused before they were even born!
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