A New Name

Here is an excerpt from a letter that I sent to our baby's birth mother recently that I would like to share with you as well:

Over the past few months as Paul and I have gotten to know Alana, prayed for her, and asked God what He says about her (as we do for all our children), we have constantly gotten the impression that she is His treasure, His crown, his precious pearl. We speak and sing this identity over her every day. We are so honored to be entrusted with someone that He prizes so highly.

One thing that we have realized during this time is that we feel the need to give her a name in addition to the beautiful name that you gave her. As her parents, we want to impart to her an identity as part of our family. We feel that if we do not name her ourselves, we will not be giving her what is her right as our child: a name from her parents' hearts and from God's heart to her through us. We have been praying about this and felt led to these verses in Isaiah 62, "... You'll get a brand-new name straight from the mouth of GOD. You'll be a stunning crown in the palm of God's hand, a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God" (verses 2-3). We were amazed that so much of what the Lord has spoken to us about her was right there in these verses! We looked up the Hebrew word for crown and found the name we were looking for: Atarah, which means "crown."

I hope that you understand our hearts in this. We still love Alana Michelle and will keep those as her middle names. We believe that God spoke those names to you as an important part of her identity. And He used them to help us know that she was meant to be our daughter! We will simply add another name and she will be Atarah Alana Michelle. (Plenty long name for a little girl whose life is already making a big impact!)

We heard back from Jennifer soon after sending the letter, and she told us that she loves the new name! Atarah likes it too. We call her Atarah, Alana, Tah-Tah, Precious Pearl, Princess, etc. God is good!

Second Best?

Daughter,

You are precious and beloved. I have longed and prayed for you many years before you were born. In no way could you ever be considered second best in my heart. Beautiful flower transplanted into my garden, if anything, I may tend to spoil you a little because I want to make sure that your roots are firmly established in the soil of love.

One emotion that I was not prepared to feel, though, as your mother, is fear. How you will see me as you grow into a woman? Will you love me? Or will you resent me? I have chosen to be your mother, but you did not choose to be my daughter. I am sure that you will wonder about the one who gave birth to you. It is a normal and healthy thing to do. I hope that you will love her and be blessed with a close relationship with her. I am glad that we have an open relationship with her so that you will always have all your questions answered and, I hope, all your heart's needs fulfilled.

But where does that leave me? Am I the "other" mother? Does that make me less? Am I second best? One night as I prayed to have my heart unlocked toward you more fully, the Holy Spirit revealed this fear lying deeply in my heart. I heard His gentle whisper,

"So what if you are second best? Will you love her any differently?"

There you go. My fear out in front of me, waiting to be dealt with. How would I answer? There was no hesitation.

"No, I will not love her any differently. Whether or not she ever returns my love, I will love her with all my heart."

So, my precious pearl, I am yours forever. No matter what you choose to do with my heart, you have it today and forever. You always have, and you always will. I love you.

With all my heart,
Your mommy

Dedication

This morning we dedicated our babies! I loved how Pastor Bob pointed out that the little children were brought to Jesus during His earthly ministry, and we are continuing to do the same. Yes, Lord, bless our babies and make them Your own!

What made it extra special is that our friends Junius and Melissa dedicated their daughter Naomi at the same time. Johnny and Gina dedicated their youngest two, Hannah and Luke!

Little 'Lana

Words cannot express how in love we are with our little 'Lana. She is beautiful, happy, peaceful, and indescribably precious. Her eyes are so expressive, and she has long, beautiful, curly eyelashes. When you look into her face, she responds with the most uninhibited, happy grin that you've ever seen. I hope we can capture it on camera sometime. Everyone who meets her is instantly in love.

We are still in need of $2,000.00 to finalize Alana's adoption. Would you please consider a donation of any size? You can use the link to the right and donate securely through PayPal. Thank you so much!

Beautiful Alana

'Nuf said.

Mommy and Alana

My Sweet Alana and I love to cuddle

And apparently we sleep in exactly the same position!

My Cuties

Here are some pictures of my two youngest cuties, just because.

Alana Loves Lovin'

Kisses from Mommy

Squishy hugs from brother

Cuddles from VivieAnne

and from Chimere

Even More Loving on Alana

Grampy loving on Alana

Cousin Marcus helping Aunt Charlotte feed Alana

Marcus holding Alana

He is really in love with his new little cousin!

Our Family

Here we all are at my cousin Jennifer's wedding last Saturday.
Reesa, Paul, Rayne, Alana, Cedar, Kole, and Michelle (with Tayan inside). We are in awe of God's blessings!

Our five blessings: Reesa, Rayne, Alana, Cedar, and Kole

The happy grandparents with all their grandkids!
Grandparents: Oma, Gramma, GoPa
Grandkids: Annica, Alana, Marcus, Aaron, Daniel, Ethan, Joel, Caleb, Reesa, Micah, Rayne, Cedar, Rebecca, and Kole

And my beautiful sister, Charlotte, the photographer for the previous pictures and mother of Annica, Micah, Marcus, and Caleb. (Holding our precious Alana.) Thank you for the pictures, Charlotte!

Alana is 3 Weeks Old Today ...

... and in celebration, she gave me a present! When I was holding her during breakfast, she looked at me, made eye contact, and smiled (her eyes even crinkled up)! She giggled too! I love being her Mommy. I'm in love. :)

At Home: Brothers and Sisters Loving Alana

Daddy, Alana, brother Kole and Mommy

Alana and brother Cedar

Alana and sister Reesa

Alana and sister Rayne

At Home: Cousins Loving Alana

Cousins Annica, Caleb, Marcus, and Micah with Alana

(We'll have to get pictures of her with her other five cousins soon!)

At Home: Aunts and Uncles Loving Alana

Alana and Aunt Laura

Aunt Charlotte, Cousin Marcus, and Alana

Aunt Christal, Sister Rayne, GoPa, and Alana

Uncle Mike and Alana

At Home: Great-Grandparents Loving Alana

Poppa and Alana

Alana and Mimi

Gramma, Gigi (actually in the Grandparent generation), and Alana

Gramma and Alana with the new puppy gift from Gramma

At Home: Grandparents Loving Alana

Alana and Oma

Alana and GoPa

Alana and Grammie