Transformed by Joy

Last weekend at the RHOP Encountering God Service, Diane Parnell quoted Mike Bickle:

"Whatever we behold (by meditation unto revalation) in God's heart toward us becomes awakened in our heart back to God (transformation)."

My ears immediately perked up. What do I need most while battling depression these days (and what do I most feel that I lack)? Joy! Did I just hear a way for joy to be awakened in my heart - by meditating on the joy in God's heart toward me? That very evening I began looking up scriptures on joy, for where better to behold God's heart than through the verbal expression of His heart toward me, His Word?

This is the verse that I found this morning:

"Then Ezra told then, Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet drink, and send portions to him for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold" (Nehemiah 8:10 AMP).

This is said in the context of guilt (oh, how I relate!)--the people had just read the law and realized that they had not been keeping it. They wanted to mourn. Yet at that very moment, the Lord was rejoicing over them. He desired to strengthen them by His joy. So instead of declaring a fast, He declared a feast. They feasted on the goodness of His love and mercy toward them, turning their hearts toward the One who gives good gifts, including the joy that gives the strength to obey.

Jesus does not want me to obey out of guilt or shame or even self-discipline--though, like crutches, these can help me along for a time. But when His joy has made me strong, I will cast them aside and "run the way of [His] commandments" (Psalm 119:32).

Jesus' greatest earthly act of obedience was done out of no lesser motivation than joy (Hebrews 12:2). I tend to think that joy is more of a childish motivation, and that "just because I have to" is more grown-up. But Jesus Himself, who told us to become like little children, was motivated by joy!

By joy I can run to my Papa-God, throw myself fearlessly into His arms, and receive His bear hugs and kisses. He is not frowning at me; no, He has sweet things in His pockets that He wants to lavish upon me. I can hear him saying to me, "Don't sit over there in the dark, dusty corner with your crust of bread, measuring it our carefully to make sure it will last. Lift up your eyes! Turn your face to me! Behold My joy! All around you is light and laughter and music and celebration. I am throwing this party for you! Come, join in my rejoicing. Don't be so cautious about with your feelings. Be My little girl again. Laugh and run and jump and play with Me. Let's have a tickle fight. I have so much for you. Come and get it!"

I have often heard that God does not look like Santa Claus. Doubtless that is true--He is so much more. But He is certainly not less! And right now, gazing upon His joy, He looks more like that jolly man than anything else I can picture. Rather than reducing God, it raises Santa to a place of holy significance as an image of God, the giver of all good gifts. And unlike Santa, He doesn't give them based on whether we are naughty or nice. In his joyful compassion, He simply gives out of His never-ending goodness.

I am coming, Big Papa. Hold Your arms out wide! I am hungry for Your love.

Food for Thought

“All reading of the Book is not reading of the Word. It was Jesus Christ, and not theology, that filled the hearts of the men who wrote those Epistles—Jesus Christ, whom I found not in the Epistles but in the Gospels. And until we understand the Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ—until we understand Him, until we have His Spirit—all the Epistles are to us a sealed book.

“The Gospels then took hold of me as never before. I found out that I had known nothing at all—that I had only a certain surface knowledge which tended to ignorance, because it fostered the delusion that I did know. Know that Man, Christ Jesus? Ah, Lord, I would go through fire and water to sit at Thy table in Thy kingdom, but dare I say now I know Thee?

“I found, as I read, that His very presence in my thoughts smoothed the troubled waters of my spirit, so that even while the storm lasted, I was able to walk upon them to go to Him. And when those waters became clear, I most rejoiced in their clearness because they mirrored His form” (George MacDonald, The Parish Papers, p. 54).

1000 Gifts

As I have been struggling with depression recently, the Holy Spirit reminded me of 1000 Gifts, a list that many are making of a thousand things for which they are thankful. He reassured me that, as I focus on the many wonderful gifts He has given me, He will fight the battle for me against depression.

I started my list yesterday morning, thinking that I would write down four or five things to begin. I had over thirty before I could stop writing! My list is now over forty and growing. I will post it here to declare before God and every witness that He is good to me, and His love endures forever!

1. Geese honking an early morning wake-up call.
2. Baby's tummy full of manna.
3. A full night's sleep.
4. Birds chirping as sun rises.
5. Anticipation of worshiping with the Body.
6. Baby contentedly sleeping next to me.
7. Kissing soft baby skin.
8. Lifting up friends to Abba's throne.
9. Answered prayer for headache to be removed.
10. Sincere card from a dear friend.
11. Quiet house.
12. Mr. Incorruptible's appreciation for his morning juice and GummyVite (my 2-year-old son).
13. Long conversation with Salt Racer (my hubby/best friend) about anything and everything.
14. Being able to stop and lie down when I'm just too tired to keep going.
15. Referral to endocrinologist - hope for answers and healing.
16. Hearing my children laugh and play together.
17. Pushing Laughter Sun (my 3-year-old daughter) high, higher on swing.
18. Salt Racer BBQ'ing and serving dinner in backyard.
19. Baking perfect, tender scones.
20. Talking with a good friend.
21. Beloved Pearl's constant, loving help (my sister-in-law).
22. Mom's prayers.
23. Still being able to boss my little sisters. :)
24. Anticipation of time spent with Mama.
25. Husband waking to seek the Lord.
26. Daddy calling just to see how I'm doing.
27. Sound of simmering oatmeal.
28. Morning cup of tea with cream and sugar.
29. The pleasure of realizing how much I have to thank Abba for.
30. RHOP merging with The Rock!
31. Knowing that my God hears my prayers.
32. Teaching Sparkling Promise (my 5-year-old daughter) to read.
33. A husband who knows (and says) what he wants.
34. Frog conventions importantly discussing matters after dark.
35. Warm sunshine.
36. A freshly made bed.
37. The prayers of friends.
38. Salt Racer's kisses and back rubs.
39. Time alone.
40. Peaceful stillness.
41. Children's laughter.
42. Baby smiles.
43. A warm shower.

I hope that you will be inspired to start your own list.