Brain Fog

I suffer from brain fog. It's pretty strong right now so I'm having trouble concentrating enough to even figure out what I wanted to write. I didn't wake up with it. This morning I had energy and motivation. I was in a good mood, and I was looking forward to a great day with my kids: giving the babies baths, twisting TaTa's hair, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, folding cloth diapers, and then maybe doing some fun things like reading, watching a movie with my girls, or doing a project like making bubble gum with them (Laughter got a gum-making kit for her birthday last summer).

Then, about four hours after I woke up, the brain fog began. I thought maybe it was because I needed to eat something, so I did, but it didn't get better. Instead of feeling happy and motivated, I now feel tired and easily overwhelmed. I can barely do anything and I feel disconnected. It feels like there's a cloud in my forehead and behind my eyes. I just want to go to sleep. And it's frustrating, because there are so many other things I know I'd really rather do, but I don't have the energy anymore to do them. What happened? And why?

I told my sis-in-law, so she and the girls prayed for me. While praying, I thought of looking up "brain fog" online. I'd never thought of doing that before, so I thought perhaps it was the Holy Spirit's leading. To my surprise, quite a few links popped up. None terribly helpful though. Brain fog can be linked to a whole lot of things including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, menopause, stress, depression ... and the recommended remedies are just as varied. Exercise, rest, diet, meditation, supplements, and more are possible treatments. Oh, and it's also apparently not a recognized medical diagnosis. Just something that a lot of people say they suffer from. Even a lot of teenagers, which also surprised me.

What to do? I don't know, except to throw myself into the arms of my Creator Father and ask for His help. Abba, please heal me. I want to be well!

Moment of Grace

 

Yesterday was a really hard day. I cried a lot of tears while crying out to the Lord. But in the morning, there was this bright, peaceful moment. Something (One my heart knows well) told me to take pictures and remember. The kids and I sat on a blanket on our picnic table (the only dry spot in the back yard) to pray and read the Bible together. I want to thank You publicly, Lord, for this moment of grace.

1000 Gifts

As I have been struggling with depression recently, the Holy Spirit reminded me of 1000 Gifts, a list that many are making of a thousand things for which they are thankful. He reassured me that, as I focus on the many wonderful gifts He has given me, He will fight the battle for me against depression.

I started my list yesterday morning, thinking that I would write down four or five things to begin. I had over thirty before I could stop writing! My list is now over forty and growing. I will post it here to declare before God and every witness that He is good to me, and His love endures forever!

1. Geese honking an early morning wake-up call.
2. Baby's tummy full of manna.
3. A full night's sleep.
4. Birds chirping as sun rises.
5. Anticipation of worshiping with the Body.
6. Baby contentedly sleeping next to me.
7. Kissing soft baby skin.
8. Lifting up friends to Abba's throne.
9. Answered prayer for headache to be removed.
10. Sincere card from a dear friend.
11. Quiet house.
12. Mr. Incorruptible's appreciation for his morning juice and GummyVite (my 2-year-old son).
13. Long conversation with Salt Racer (my hubby/best friend) about anything and everything.
14. Being able to stop and lie down when I'm just too tired to keep going.
15. Referral to endocrinologist - hope for answers and healing.
16. Hearing my children laugh and play together.
17. Pushing Laughter Sun (my 3-year-old daughter) high, higher on swing.
18. Salt Racer BBQ'ing and serving dinner in backyard.
19. Baking perfect, tender scones.
20. Talking with a good friend.
21. Beloved Pearl's constant, loving help (my sister-in-law).
22. Mom's prayers.
23. Still being able to boss my little sisters. :)
24. Anticipation of time spent with Mama.
25. Husband waking to seek the Lord.
26. Daddy calling just to see how I'm doing.
27. Sound of simmering oatmeal.
28. Morning cup of tea with cream and sugar.
29. The pleasure of realizing how much I have to thank Abba for.
30. RHOP merging with The Rock!
31. Knowing that my God hears my prayers.
32. Teaching Sparkling Promise (my 5-year-old daughter) to read.
33. A husband who knows (and says) what he wants.
34. Frog conventions importantly discussing matters after dark.
35. Warm sunshine.
36. A freshly made bed.
37. The prayers of friends.
38. Salt Racer's kisses and back rubs.
39. Time alone.
40. Peaceful stillness.
41. Children's laughter.
42. Baby smiles.
43. A warm shower.

I hope that you will be inspired to start your own list.