Tears keep coming at every little thing, and yet I seem unable to feel much of anything. I think I'm experiencing postpartum depression. I'm exhausted, yet I keep plodding along. With three little ones, I just have to. My dear husband is working hard to arrange for me to have some time to rest and be refreshed. His mother just came by and picked up the girls for the day and overnight. And my mom is going to watch them tomorrow. More than anything, I just want quiet and no one needing me. I can't help being needed by Cedar, since he's only five and a half weeks old, but he sleeps all the time so it's pretty restful to be with him. God keeps reminding me that "he gives sleep to his beloved" (Psalm 127:2).
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance" (Psalm32:7-8).
Father God will sustain you! I will keep praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLove, Mama
Thank you, loved ones. I have mostly been sleeping today. And listening to some sermons on Hearing God while feeding Cedar. Paul ordered my favorite pizza for dinner. I'm looking forward to playing some Ratchet and Clank on our Playstation 2 this evening and taking a bath. My mother-in-law gave me money to get a pedicure, so I'll probably go do that tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel like I've really relaxed yet. I keep expecting to hear the girls or be needed by someone. But I'm praying that God will help me to get His perspective. I know that this time off is His gift to me through my wonderful family who are bending over backwards to make this time off possible.
I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time. It's really tough having a newborn and needing to be available for feedings every 2 1/2 hours or so. Quantity sleep is hardly possible, so I'll be praying that you'll get QUALITY sleep. I remember praying that for myself when Marcus was new. I don't remember it being so difficult with Caleb, but when you have other children needing your attention throughout the day as well, it is SO tiring. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed just thinking about going through that again in a few short months and praying that God gives me the grace to make it!
ReplyDeleteRemember that God can give rest and peace of mind even when you are awake and working.