Standing

For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Stand therefore [hold your ground] … (Eph. 6:12-13a)

I thank the Lord that my struggle is not with flesh and blood. I do not have to struggle, even against myself, but only yield myself to Him. He is my Master, and like a little puppy, I feel the touch of His hand and roll over in complete submission. He may do with me as He pleases. I trust Him without question. (Or at least, that is the desire of my heart. Make it true, Lord!) Sometimes He tickles my tummy and scratches behind my ears. Sometimes He spanks my little (well, maybe not so little) bottom. But always He loves me, and always I will come back to Him, trembling with eagerness to be near Him.

And as for the battle against the powers "of this present darkness," He provides all the armor I need. My task is not to fight, but to stand. I will stand my ground in His strength, confident that nothing can take me out when He is my Warrior. What is my ground? It is my confidence in Him. He is my Rock. He is my firm foundation. Nothing can shake me when I am standing on what is immovable.

I am so grateful for this encouragement today. I needed to hear it. For yesterday, as I read a couple of chapters is Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl, the Lord revealed so much garbage in my heart: a superior attitude and elements of a controlling spirit that I had not previously detected in myself. I was so grieved. As Paul and I drove around collecting gifts and party items for Rayne's birthday this weekend, I confessed to him and repented. I have been so resistant of his leadership. I have not realized what an amazing gift God has given me in being able to rest under his authority in my life. I have been striving to find God's will for myself, for Paul, and for our family, when all of that is not really my primary responsibility. It is my husband's! And my responsibility—which is to discover what he wants, to please him, and to pray for him as my heavenly authority—I have neglected. Instead, I have pushed him in directions that I felt we should go. Even if the direction might (at times) have been good, my attitude was not.

Paul was so gracious to me. He kept telling me what an incredible wife he has always thought that I am. He also kept saying that he feels again like he did when we were dating, when I just admired him so much. The difference, he said, is that now he is much less enamored with himself. Thank You, Lord, that You are now bringing me also to be less enamored with myself and my own spirituality. Thank You for bringing me to a place of being more appreciative of the spiritual (and natural) leadership of my husband. Please continue to give him wisdom for himself, for me, and for our family. And please continue to teach me to trust Your leadership through him. I am standing on You, trusting You to make me the bride You want me to be, both to my husband and to You.