My babies have been at their grandparents' house for the past 24 hours. It's the first time they've been away from home overnight. I've enjoyed having a bit of a break from the complicated round of diapers, bottles, naps, and laundry which make up much of my daily life. I have been able to relax a bit with only my 7-, 5-, 4-, and 2-year-old children to think about. This morning I had to change only one diaper before breakfast. I was able to eat my own food without spooning food into two other mouths between my own bites. I found myself reflecting that if we had made some different choices last year, this could be my life. Much simpler. A bit quieter. Less stressful. I must admit, it was kind of nice.
I knew that I needed some perspective. So, the next time I went into the bathroom, I picked up the most recent issue of Lifelines magazine that we receive from Bethany Christian Services. With a prayer in my heart that God would restore me to His perspective, I opened it up and read about families who have adopted. My heart resonated when I read one mom's words, "We were comfortable in our routine, yet I knew that we weren't put on this earth to be 'comfortable.'" I read profiles of children who need to be adopted and cried as I prayed that God would place them in families. (Yes, I read and cry and pray in the bathroom. It's sometimes the only place I can be alone!)
Later, I read some articles on the Above Rubies website. Then I went to my Google Reader and saw Stephanie's post. (I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has these thoughts. God knew what I needed to read today!)
I did enjoy the break. It was nice to have time to get my refrigerator cleaned this morning with my girls' help while Saltracer (hubby) took the boys on errands with him. And I didn't quite feel ready for the babies to come home as soon as they did. But we all have a choice. We can invest in our own comfort, or we can invest in others. I have made my choice. If I could go back to last year and decide all over again, I know that I would not change a thing. Besides, I did miss my babies a little bit. :)
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25; also in Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, and Luke 17:33)
I am not living for today. I am living for eternity. Then I will rest. Until then, I am resting in faith that He is sufficient for today.
Michelle - I can so relate to what you shared. I love your heart. You are one of the most beautiful women I know. You have inspired me in my journey of adoption and just having more kids! Ya - the bathroom is not even a sanctuary for me! Hahaha
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you, Stephanie!
ReplyDeleteI love how you choose to be unattached to comfort... what a concept! I think more of us need to do this, even without small children. You're right - you make huge deposits into six eternal accounts daily - each of your children :)
ReplyDeleteEven though I haven't seen you since you have had 6 children, you have always striked me as someone who has a huge heart and is strong in your faith. I am so happy for you and your family! What a blessing that these children will grow up in an awesome home by two loving parents.
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