Monday, April 11, 2011

Adoption Is Expensive

One of the first comments I hear from people considering adoption is, "Adoption is so expensive!" They have a heart to help. They feel that they have love to share with a child. But they wonder how they could possibly come up with tens of thousands of dollars to make it happen.

I understand this mindset. When I first started researching adoption, the first question I would ask was, "How much does it cost?" Then I would go away feeling discouraged because I didn't see how we could possibly do it.

Then I started hearing stories from people whom I knew did not have millions stashed away somewhere. Regular people who, like me, simply wanted to obey God's call to care for orphans (Isaiah 58:6-12; James 1:27). They spoke of a fountain of blessing that God pours out on the heads of those who step into the gap to care for the lowest - those closest to His heart - the widows, orphans, and poor. Those who do not have anyone to speak up for them. They spoke of how God delights to meet their needs, and how those who partner with Him in helping them get to splash in the pool of His provision, laughing and playing in His delight. They spoke of impossible mountains being conquered, expensive surgeries being provided for, and deep emotional wounds being healed. So I began to pay attention as I read my Bible. Was this true? Did God truly say that this would happen? What I found amazed me. Here are some of my favorite verses:

"Some give freely and still get richer, while others are stingy but grow still poorer. The person who blesses others will prosper; he who satisfies others will be satisfied himself" (Proverbs 11:24, 25 CJV).

Wow! So ... if I hoard my resources to care only for myself and my family, then I may grow only poorer and poorer, thus reinforcing my belief that I do not have enough to share with others. However, if I give freely, trusting my future to God, then He will bring the increase and satisfy all my needs.

"Here is the sort of fast I want ... sharing your food with the hungry, taking the homeless poor into your house, clothing the naked when you see them, fulfilling your duty to your kinsmen! Then your light will burst forth like the morning ... Then you will call, and Adonai will answer; you will cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' ... If you will ... generously offer food to the hungry and meet the needs of the person in trouble; then your light will rise in the darkness, and your gloom become like noon. Adonai will always guide you; he will satisfy your needs in the desert, he will renew the strength of your limbs; so that you will be like a watered garden, like spring whose water never fails" (Isaiah 58:6-12, emphasis mine).

"Do not store up for yourselves wealth here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and burglars break in and steal. Instead store up for yourselves wealth in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and burglars do not break in or steal. For where your wealth is, there your heart will be also. ... So don't be anxious, asking, 'What will we eat?,' 'What will we drink?' or 'How will we be clothed?' ... But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:19, 20, 31, 33, emphasis mine).

"Here's the point: he who plants sparingly also harvests sparingly. ... Moreover, God has the power to provide you with every gracious gift in abundance, so that always in every way you will have all you need yourselves, and be able to provide abundantly for every good cause. ... He provides both seed for the planter and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed and increase the harvest of our righteousness. You will be enriched in every way, so that you can be generous in everything" (2 Corinthians 9:6-8, 10, 11, emphasis mine).

So if you are one of those who would like to adopt but haven't been sure whether you could afford it, I ask you to consider this challenge: can you really afford not to? Take these verses before God. Ask Him to explain them to you. Think about them. And watch while your faith rises to the point that you are willing to step out, take a risk on God's faithfulness to keep His promises, and see what He will do!

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Little Crazy?

A friend recently drew my attention to this post that I wrote three years ago. I am thankful that in many ways, life is not as hard as it was then. My oldest three children, now eight, six, and five, are SO helpful. And I am much more at peace with my life. With some hormonal supplementation and lots of prayer, I experience depression much less than I used to. We now have six children and are beginning the process to adopt #7! Yet, somehow, I feel a little less crazy than I did then. Rereading this today, it rings more true than ever.

I have been thinking a lot lately about adoption. Why are we doing this? Is it a good idea? Are we hearing God, or just going off half-cocked with good intentions but little wisdom? What will people think? What does God think?

I know what I think. I think we're more than a little crazy. We have four (now six) children already. Our oldest is five (now eight), and our youngest is five months (nineteen months). There are many (only some now, thankfully, since the depression is largely gone) days when I wonder how in the world I will survive the next five years--no, minutes. In nearly seven (now ten) years of marriage, we have yet to go more than nine months of our marriage without getting pregnant (nineteen months and counting now), and in addition to our four living children, we have had two miscarriages. In the natural, it makes sense that this would be a time to step back and regroup, not a time to step it up yet again.

And yet.

There is a burning in my heart that will not be ignored. And when I tap into that place, that God-space inside me, all of my objections are burned away in an instant. Suddenly I don't care how tired I am, how messy my house gets, or how much more I have to slow down my life. Suddenly I realize that my life is not getting more complicated by adding more children. No, with each additional child my life becomes less complicated. My focus turns more and more toward home, toward love, toward being. I have much less time and energy for outside activities and lots of doing. Instead, I find myself stopping, looking into little faces, smiling, laughing. Oh, there are still the moments (and they are many) when I think I am going to collapse under the drain of the continual need of the little people in my life. But then I am constrained once again to look at what I am really trying to do, who I am really called to be. To refocus my gaze. To stop trying so hard. To relax and let this season be what it is.

What is this season?

This is not a season for outward accomplishments. This is not a season for pursuing goals. This is not a season for being SuperMom. This is not a season for doing much at all.

And yet ... it is.

It is a season for digging deep. It is a season for gazing at the face of the One I love most in the countenances of His children. For wiping His tears, bandaging His owies, preparing His food, and, yes, even changing His diapers. It is a season for becoming less, less, and then much, much less, while He becomes more, more and more again within me, to me, through me, around me, above me, beneath me, permeating the very air I breathe.

It is a season for becoming, for discovering who I am in His heart as all my outward identities are stripped away. A season for being hidden in the palm of His hand, being fed from His table, and delighting in the intimacy of His gaze. A season for knowing that, though I am mostly invisible to the outside world, though most of my accomplishments go unnoticed, He sees. A season for learning that that is enough. It is more than enough. It is everything.

It is a season for learning that He is enough.

I meant to focus on adoption in this post, but my heart is so full that I couldn't even get that far. Think of this as the preamble. I have much more to share another time. For now, wherever you may be, whatever the circumstances in which you find yourself, I pray that in that very place you will find God. He is so worth finding that all the struggle becomes nothing compared with the delight of knowing Him.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2Co 4:17-18 NKJV)

Monday, November 22, 2010

It Doesn't Take a Supermom to Homeschool ... (part 2 of 2)

I would like to finish this post by sharing some of the ways that I homeschool my children. Not because I think that it's the only right way to do it, but because some of it might help another homeschooling mom. If the shoe fits, then wear it! (And if it doesn't, move on and find another one that does.)

First of all, we choose not to participate in charter school. We do not want the added pressure of having to meet public school standards. I enjoy being accountable only to my husband and God. I do sometimes wish that we had money for activities like soccer, ballet, gymnastics, or horseback riding, but my husband and I feel that God (not the government) will provide what we need when (and if) we need it.

I choose not to use prepackaged curricula for most subjects because I feel that would make homeschooling less fun for us and add unnecessary pressure. I also don't try to do every subject every day. We do try to do Bible and reading every day. The other subjects I try to do three days a week. I only "plan" school work for Monday-Thursday, leaving Fridays to do makeup work and/or something fun (like going to the library or on a field trip).

For reading, I use a simple phonics program that I downloaded from the internet. First, I used it to teach my highly motivated first daughter (currently 7 years old) to read. She quickly blew through it and now reads anything she can get her hands on. Currently I am using it to teach my 6-year-old daughter to read. She is going slowly but delights to understanding more and more words. I have not even started to teach my four-year-old formally, but he catches the overflow, and I try to read to him a little every day. My kids also enjoy workbooks, so I got them some spelling and writing workbooks. They do a couple of pages a day in each workbook.

For math, we are using a prepackaged curriculum called Right Start Math. All three of my kids are still in the first (aka, Kindergarten) level. We are going really slowly through this because I want to be sure that they (and I) really understand and enjoy it. I started out teaching my two older girls together, but it was frustrating for them both because of the differences in their abilities. It was also frustrating to me because our lessons were taking 1-2 hours a day. So I continued with my older daughter, who is now nearly finished with Level A and will soon begin Level B (when we can afford to buy it). Her math lessons now take about 15-30 minutes a day. After a break I started over with my 6-year-old and added her 4- (almost 5-) year-old brother. So far they seems to be working well together, and she doesn't seem to have noticed that I set her back. She also enjoys math a lot more now. I do too, especially since I can get their lesson done in 30 minutes a day.

For P.E. , we take walks and go swimming at a neighbor's pool.

For science, we notice things on our walks and in everyday life. The other day we saw a little snake on the sidewalk. I had my kids draw a snake when we got home, and my oldest (who can read and write on her own) wrote a few sentences describing it. I have a book of science experiments you can do at home, but we haven't cracked it open yet. Sometimes something comes up that my kids ask a question about. Last week it was, "What is lava?" I proceeded to explain volcanoes to them and wrote it down as our science for the day. Later, when a volcano erupted recently in Indonesia, we talked about it. I read a news article to them (to which they only marginally paid attention), we watched Youtube videos of volcanoes erupting (they loved that part), and they drew pictures of volcanoes. Bonus: we prayed for the Indonesian people too!

For social studies, we are currently using free stuff that I found on the Voice of the Martyrs website, kidsofcouragemag.net. They have activity booklets on several different countries. I printed out one on Malaysia, and we enjoyed reading about that country and doing the simple activities that were included. Next we will be starting to study Ethiopia. (Last year, we used Five in a Row, a picture-book-based unit study curriculum, and we loved it - it was very fun and easy to do.)

Last but certainly not least, our main subject is Bible. This is the one that we try to do every day no matter what. We are reading through a chronological Bible paraphrase called Day by Day Kids' Bible. My kids love to draw, so every other week or so, I tell them the subject headings for upcoming sections, and they draw pictures that are related. I make copies (we invested in a good printer/copier that wasn't too expensive this year, and it's great). Then, each day during "Bible Time," they color our homemade Bible coloring pages while I read to them. We have a "prayer box," a simple index card file on which I write prayer requests. I pass out two or three cards to each child, and we pray for the people listed on the cards. We also memorize scripture this way, writing a couple verses on a card and making up silly tunes to sing them together. It's a super-easy way to get the Word in our hearts. Bible is my favorite subject to do with my kids, because it feeds my spirit too! (Note: on the days when I am too tired or cranky to teach Bible, or when I need to spend some extra time on my AA daughter's hair, I turn on a "Bible" movie for the kids to watch, like The Miracle Maker.)

I hardly spend any time planning or grading or anything like that. I just find things that are easy and fun for us to do. And if we don't get everything done that I thought we should, I am learning to stop stressing about it. Instead, I ask God what He wants us to get done that day. He then reminds me that His goal is for us to love each other (John 13:34-35; 15:12, 17). Then I remember that I shouldn't worry so much about WHAT we do, and instead focus on just loving my kids.

Final thoughts (to bring this back to how I'm not Supermom): I do not do my makeup every day, and I have learned some really quick, easy things to do with my hair. I do usually get dressed since we try to go for a walk most days (it helps all our perspectives to get out of the house for a little while). However, when I'm pregnant or nursing, I don't always get dressed. My house is ALWAYS messy, except when we clean up before having guests over, and even then it's far less perfect than I'd like. My living room furniture is torn up and we can't afford to replace it (though we're praying for some good free or really cheap furniture). The dishes usually stay piled up in the sink until after lunch. Some days I cannot cook, so instead we have "snack dinner" where everyone picks something to eat like cereal or yogurt. I also make big meals so we have leftovers at least 1-2 days a week. I do not "do it all." We are not involved in many extracurricular activities. Our big outings for the week are church, the park, and the library. I teach my kids piano lessons, but we cannot afford sports or other outside activities. We have a live-in roommate who helps with dishes and laundry during the week. We cannot afford to pay much, so we basically exchange room and board for some help. When the babies are awake, we can't really get anything done, so all our school work is done during their nap times. My husband has given me Monday nights and Sunday mornings "off." This really helps to keep me sane. I take that time to do personal things I want to do, like read, sleep, etc. I try to get up early to spend time with the Lord, but I also love to stay up late enjoying the peace and quiet after the kids are in bed, so my sleep/wake schedule is pretty inconsistent.

I hope that these posts help someone see that it doesn't take a Supermom to homeschool. It just takes an ordinary mom (or dad) who is willing to say yes to God's invitation to daily sow into her children's hearts, even when it's a struggle. A Supermom wouldn't do, actually. Not at all. It takes a weak one.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong" (1 Corinthians 12:10b).

Thursday, November 18, 2010

It Doesn't Take a Supermom to Homeschool ... (part 1 of 2)

... because I'm not! (Supermom, that is.)

Yes, I have six children. And yes, I do homeschool them. (Only two of them "officially" so far.) And it is the most fun, hard, crazy, fulfilling, chaotic, exasperating and irreplaceable thing I have ever done.

Homeschooling, like every other aspect of my life, is something I have struggled with in prayer before God. Yes, I have wanted to do it since I myself was a homeschooled student (and loved it). But I still wrestle with God about giving up so much time and energy to educate my children, especially when I am told that the elementary school right across the street from my house is really good. I have sometimes fantasized about those few steps that would whisk my children off into the wonderland of education-by-others, leaving me with an easier day at home.

Easier in some ways, that is.

Sometimes, when homeschooling starts to feel like too much (like every day this week), I go back to the Lord, asking whether I should continue. His words have given me courage:

"It will be harder if you send them to school."

Harder? How?

Well, it depends on my perspective. If my goal is to have more discretionary time to pursue more of my personal goals, then sending them to school would certainly seem to make that easier. But what about the cost? How much more time would I need to spend re-parenting them when they got home? What kind of attitudes would they pick up? Would their hearts remain soft toward God? And would it be worth giving up our daily times of praying, worshiping, and memorizing scripture together?

I quickly realized that He was right. Then I remembered that His primary goal is not their intellectual education. He's after their hearts.

And so I remembered another sentence God spoke to me a couple of years ago:

"Stop telling Me why you can't and ask Me how."

Yes, there are days when I don't know if I can do it. Yes, there are days I want to quit. But on those days, the words above sustain me. I am learning to stop, breathe, and ask Him, "How do You want me to do this today? What are Your goals? This isn't working. I must be off track. Do You have a better way for us to arrange our schedule? Do we need to cut out or add some activities? I need HELP during this time of the day (or with this particular child). Should I stop trying to do ____, or is there another way to approach it?"

Every day I beg God for wisdom and strength.

And guess what? There are many days when I simply love having my children home with me. Most of the time, I look forward to our school times together. Why? Because our home school is not a carbon copy of what they would get across the street. It is perfectly designed for our unique family. It fits us, and it's fun.

It all depends on my perspective.

If I compare my school with the one across the street, I fall short. If I compare my school with private schools, I fall short. Even if I compare my school with other home schools, I fall short. But God has not called me to look at all of them. He has called me to to keep my eyes on Him. So I asked Him, "What do You want me to teach my children? What are the standards that You want us to achieve?"

Somehow, I expected Him to talk to me about their knowledge of English grammar, science, math, reading, and history. But you know what He told me? "Teach them to love Me with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as they love themselves" (my paraphrase of Mark 12:30 and Luke 10:27).

Can they do that across the street? Will they even try?

So I continue to homeschool. And I am growing to be OK with being different, maybe even behind in some areas. Because in other areas I know that my kids are learning far more than they could "over there."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Wolf of Tebron Book Review (Favorite Thing #7)

Recently, my husband decided that I needed to take a break from my usual reading list, which includes mostly non-fiction research topics, to read a new book that he brought home for me. Now, I love fiction, but I rarely find an author that I really enjoy reading. So, having greatly enjoyed this one, I am glad to help spread the word about The Wolf of Tebron. The following is excerpted from an email conversation I had with the author, C. S. Lakin:

Me: I just finished reading The Wolf of Tebron with delight. I feel that I have found a friend in you as one who loves good writing and explores profound themes. I found the opening pages a bit heavy on poetic imagery, but as I continued and grew more accustomed to your writing style, the story drew me in. The frequent quotes from the Bible and great authors gave me much meat to chew on as I enjoyed the twists and turns of the story. Thank you for writing a book that I would recommend to my friends, and one that I would enjoy reading again. I look forward to reading the next book in the series.

Lakin: Thanks so much! One of the reasons I write fantasy in addition to contemporary fiction is to be able to play with language and imagery. The Bible is full of amazing imagery--mountains clapping their hands and rivers singing for joy. People don't often stop to think how God loves poetic imagery too--the world reflects it. I think you'll love the next book--Map across Time. It has less imagery, more Scripture and biblical allegory, and it's a heartbreaking and inspiring tale. It should come out after the New Year.

Me: I find myself continuing to think about certain imagery and concepts that you explored. The idea that humans live in a sort of dream state, not knowing who we really are or where our home is, rings true. Truly we see but dimly now, but then we will see face to face. I also keep pondering Ruyah being at the same time Joran's friend, father, and a type of God/Jesus. It is a rich and complex characterization. Being an adoptive parent, I appreciate the depiction of his adoptive family creating a warm and caring home to which Joran longs to return.

I hope you enjoy The Wolf of Tebron as much as I did!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Favorite Thing #11: Ethnic Hair and Body Care

A friend who is adopting asked for some info about the products I like to use with Crown. I thought it would be fun to share it here too!

For her body, my favorite moisturizer is coconut oil. I buy it at Sunrise Natural Foods for about $11 a tub. (I just get their least expensive brand.) It lasts 6 months or so. I rub it all over her body and face (especially around her nose and mouth, which tends to be her driest area) every morning and after baths. I only give her a bath once or twice a week (unless extra baths are needed due to accidents), and I wash her hair once every week to two weeks. I feel that helps her skin and hair not get too dried out.

For her hair, I use Hawaiian Silky Miracle Worker every day (I get it at Sally's Beauty Supply for about $5 a bottle). In the morning when I oil her body, I also spray HS generously on her hair and massage (if her hair is in twists or ponytails) or brush (if her hair is loose) it in. I have found that a boar bristle brush works best for her fine but very curly hair. It seems to get most of the little tangles out if I work it in sections (which I do about once a week or so - the rest of the time it's usually up in twists or ponytails). If there are larger tangles, I will use a wide-tooth comb, but that does bother her more.

To wash her hair, I use Just for Me brand shampoo and conditioner. It took me some time to find these in Roseville, but recently the Walmart in West Roseville started carrying them. I use regular baby bath soap for her body.

I have also tried some other products that have been recommended to me. I used a Just for Me straightening mist, but I couldn't tell that it did much. Silken Child just made her hair really coarse, though I've heard it's popular. Coconut oil on her hair did the same thing. Olive oil can be used on hair, but I found it a bit too light. I like Carol's Daughter hair milk (which I could only find at Arden Mall Sephora - the one in Roseville doesn't carry it), but it's pretty expensive ($18 per bottle). There are a lot of other products out there that can be tried, but so far I'm happy with the price and relative simplicity of the ones I am currently using.

I do have one other product that I use for twists, Organic Root Stimulator Lock and Twist. I can post more about that later, but I don't want to include too much info in this post.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tayan is One!



We had a lot of fun with the family and friends who were able to make it to his party. Isn't Tay-Tay a cutie?

Monday, August 02, 2010

Adventures in Baltimore


Once upon a time there was a young woman from a suburban town who went on a trip with her husband to Baltimore, Maryland. Now this was quite a big deal, considering that they had six small children at home. Many loving friends and family had agreed to help - so many that the mother felt overwhelmed by their kindness. She spent the weeks before the trip carefully planning every detail. She coordinated which children would go to which homes, made sure that everyone had the phone numbers and information they needed regarding each child, made packing lists, and took the children to visit the homes where they would be staying so they would feel familiar with their temporary surroundings.


The night before the trip, the children all packed and ready, she began to pack her own things. She took all the pretty things that she rarely had the opportunity to wear at home except for church or on dates with her husband: cute skirts and tops, and even a few new things she had purchased for the trip.


Unsure which shoes would be appropriate, she packed a pair of her favorite flip-flops and a pair of high heeled shoes, deciding to wear her slip-on tennis shoes during the flight to Baltimore.






When she and her husband arrived in Baltimore in the middle of the night, she was a little nervous. The hotel was in a seasoned, old building in the historic city surrounded by lots of one-way streets and streetlights. Grateful that there were not many people or cars out at that time of night, she still wasn't sure what to expect from this big town. They checked into their room without incident, though there were some close calls with the walls in the narrow alleys of the parking garage where her husband parked the rental car.





The first day or two, the woman didn't venture out much. Her husband was away at a business conference during the day, so she slept and read in her room mostly. In the evenings they walked up and down Charles St, Cathedral St, and Light St, and around the Inner Harbor, taking in their surroundings.











Her feet started to hurt from walking on the hard sidewalks in her flip-flops. She began wearing her tennis shoes all the time, but they didn't go very well with the pretty clothes she'd brought for the trip. So, one day, she decided to do some shopping in the Inner Harbor while her husband attended a seminar. She found several pairs of shoes that she really liked. In fact, she had a hard time deciding which ones she wanted. The shoes were a little more expensive than she was used to spending, and she liked three pair really well. She sat, undecided, in the shoe store until her husband rejoined her.

The salesladies, who seemed to think she was a little silly for sitting there so long, kept coming by to check on her. When her husband arrived, they decided it would be best to get two pair, a pretty pair of wedge sandals to go with her skirts and tops, and a comfy, flat pair for the days back home with her children.



Outside the store, she put on her new sandals and placed her old tennies in the box from the store. She felt so pretty, walking down the street with her husband in her new shoes. They were comfortable too, even more comfortable than her tennis shoes. She smiled and held his hand. For the first time she was starting to feel right in this big, strange town.


After that, she didn't felt as intimidated by the tall buildings, the people on the streets, and the cars honking as they passed. The walk from the hotel to the harbor to meet her husband for dinner became familiar. First she passed the homey red brick "mother church of Baltimore," Old St. Paul's church.

Then she walked by the wrought iron fences and sleek, white columns of the first cathedral in the United States, the beautiful Baltimore Basilica. She walked past old buildings that had been long neglected and were mostly abandoned.

She wondered what it would be like to live in one of the newer glass and concrete skyscraper apartment buildings, to park in the garage underneath and ride an elevator home each night.

Finally she arrived at the harbor, marveling each time at the first sight that greeted her there: the U.S.S. Constitution, a sailing ship almost 200 years old that had helped to free slaves during the Civil War.



Sometimes with her husband and sometimes alone, she grew to enjoy the sights and sounds of the Inner Harbor. There was a little store where fudge was made by hand each day, the cooks singing and calling out to the tourists walking by. She bought post cards at a gift shop that she visited a few times. She ate hamburgers with her husband at Johnny Rockets, an old fashioned diner. And she explored a big bookstore that occupied what had once been a huge, brick power house for the city.

She walked over a bridge suspended by cables that bounced a little when you were in the middle of it, and climbed up into a light house that had once housed the keeper and his family in the middle of the bay. (A baby was even born in this light house!)

One evening, when they were very hungry and couldn't find an inexpensive meal in the cultured Mt. Vernon district where their hotel was, she and her husband walked an hour down to the harbor to eat huge burritos at Chipotle for only $6 apiece.

She enjoyed walking around the quieter Mt. Vernon neighborhood as well. Her favorite sight was the tall, white monument of President George Washington set in the middle of a square with a grassy park on each of its four sides. It was a popular area for people to walk their dogs or to sit with a friend. One day, as they passed through the square, and older woman approached them saying she was hungry. Since they didn't have any cash with them, they walked on to a sandwich shop where they bought a big sub sandwich and a cookie. When they returned to the square, the lady was sitting on a bench by the bus stop. She smiled when they gave her the food.

When her husband's business conference was over, they began to do more sight seeing. After breakfast one morning, they walked to the Basilica for a tour. Arriving five minutes after the tour was scheduled to start, they were afraid they'd missed it. However, a few minutes later their tour guide arrived. He apologized, saying that his bus had been late. As they were the only people who had come for the tour that morning, he spent two hours answering all their questions and exploring the Basilica with them. He even made the next tour group wait a few minutes while he made sure to answer all their questions fully.




Later that day, they went to the Walters Art Museum. They were amazed at the large collection of art and artifacts from antiquity: Greek and Roman sculptures, Egyptian mummies, and even blocks covered with heiroglyphics from old Egyptian temples. There was so much to see that they wished they could have spent a lot more time there.
















They spent an entire day in Washington, D.C. They met up with a cousin who lived there, visiting visited with her, her four children, and her parents. They got to ride an elevator up to the family's apartment and look over the town from their balcony. They walked to the newer, much larger Washington Monument, took pictures in front of the White House where the President lives, and spent many hours exploring the Smithsonian American History Museum. They saw real plaster casts of President Lincoln's face and hands, took in the sights and sounds of the Apollo Theater, admired Juila Child's kitchen, and even touched a section of the Berlin Wall.

By the end of the day, even with her new shoes, the woman was too tired to walk all the way to the immense statue of President Lincoln, so she waved to him from far away.

Back at the apartment, they spent more time with her cousin's children and had a good, long chat with her cousin. Since they all lived so far away from each other, everyone wanted to spend as much time together as they could. They enjoyed catching up in the peaceful apartment, thirteen stories above the city streets.

Later, as they drove out of the city, they passed through an area what looked like a police stakeout. There were so many noisy cars and pedestrians, even though it was nearly the middle of the night, that they were glad to be returning to the relative peace and familiarity of their hotel in Baltimore.

The last day there, as they had every morning of their stay, they ate breakfast in the hotel cafeteria. After packing up and checking out, they drove to Fort McHenry, a star-shaped fort that had been the site of a major victory during the War of 1812 and the inspiration for the United States National Anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner." They were delighted to listen to the conversations of the people in the fort who were dressed in uniforms and talking to each other like they were soldiers of that time.



Finally, it was time to go home. Her flight was delayed by bad weather and circumstance so many times that seemed like it would never end. She didn't know whether she would see her luggage again, as it had not made it to the airport that night. But she was so glad to see the familiar face of her sister picking her up at the airport that she didn't really mind. Exhausted but content, she fell into her warm, familiar bed in the wee hours of the morning. She couldn't wait to pick up her children the next day, to tell them all about her adventures, and to hear them tell her about theirs.

Note: This is a story I wrote for my children about my trip to Baltimore last June. I thought it would be fun to post it here as well.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Laughter's Birthday

 


Happy 6th Birthday to my Purple Butterfly Princess!
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Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Few of My Favorite Things #5: Home Schooling

Well, while I fully intended to honor the requests I had to answer #4 first, I have not yet been able to do so. In the meantime, I received a message asking me about home schooling and how I do it. So I thought that I'd get started on my list of Favorite Things by posting my answer here. I do hope to get started on answering the family size question soon, though!

I read and researched about home schooling for years before I had school-aged children so that by the time I really got going, I had a pretty good idea how I wanted to do it. Of course, I didn't picture having two babies and a toddler at the same time, but God provides the way.

I personally don't push preschool very hard. My thinking is that they'll learn eventually, but my goal is for it to be fun. So I surround my children with learning opportunities: books, games, puzzles, play-doh, art supplies, educational DVD's (one of my favorites is Meet the Sight Words - my two-year-old already recognizes a lot of the words just from watching it), and lots of time to play and explore their world. My kids like workbooks too, so I get inexpensive ones from Walmart or Lakeshore Learning store just for fun. I really don't set goals at the preschool age. Just keep it light and fun.

I have noticed that my son, who is four and a half, is taking a lot longer to get interested in reading than my girls did. My oldest, who is seven, was bugging me to teach her to read starting at age 3. I started using The Reading Lesson with her when she was Kindergarten age, and she took off. She absorbed reading pretty much effortlessly. I am getting an opportunity to work a little harder with my 2nd. I started using The Reading Lesson with her this year. (She will be six this Saturday and, age-wise, is finishing Kindergarten). She is much more easily discouraged than my oldest, so I haven't pushed it very hard. We've gotten through a few (I think 6 or 7) of the 20 lessons in the course. But I don't make her do more than she can do without getting too frustrated, so we're going really slow. We read 1-2 pages a day, 2-3 days a week. I have read that reading "clicks" with some kids earlier (like age 3 or 4) and others not until later (even 8 or 9). But as adults, they all do equally well. The main thing is not to make them hate school and learning. My 4-year-old son has shown nearly no interest in reading, though he does recognize the alphabet and know his numbers. So I just read to him and let him participate in school as much as he is interested. He loves to be read to, so I know that it will come eventually.

I am sharing all this in hopes that you will see your children in some of what I am saying and be able to apply it to your own kids.

Probably the most helpful piece of advice that I received is that there is no one right way to teach your children. There is no perfect curriculum, schedule, or teacher. (Ha! Good thing, because I'm not it!) So just try what interests you and your children, and adjust as you go along. It's OK to start out with one curriculum and change to something else if it isn't working for you.

By the way, The Reading Lesson is something I found online. I like it because it's inexpensive to use over and over (paid for it once, downloaded it, and can print out as many times as needed). I also like that it's simple and doesn't overload the kids with a lot of rules and complication. Just teaches them to read basic words as a foundation to build upon. I didn't get any of the extras; just the basic e-book. It worked well for my oldest and seems to be working fine for my 2nd as well.

I barely scratched the surface of your questions, but my time is up for now. I will try to get back and add more soon. Please let me know if what I've shared so far is helpful.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Crown Princess' 1st Birthday

Here are some pictures from our Crown Princess' big day(s). Enjoy!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

10K in 20 Days



God cares about orphans. Just read James 1:27. Our family has long felt called to adoption. We are thrilled to have adopted once and hope to adopt again in the future. Perhaps you, too, are called to adopt. Or perhaps you are called to help orphans and widows/single moms in another way, through mentoring or fostering or aunt-ing or uncle-ing or grandparenting adopted or foster children. In any case, we are all called to be a part of the body of Christ and take care of the children who need us.

10K in 20 Days is a push to raise money to bless 26 families who are in the process of adoption. It is my personal commitment to give $10 whenever I learn of a family who is raising money for adoption expenses. It is not much, but it's what I can do at this time, and I know how much every donation encouraged us when we were raising money for our own adoption. Sometimes it was the one donation at the right time that confirmed for us that God was in this and we were doing the right thing.

Will you join me? Will you donate $5 or $10 to help bring children home to their families? You can read more about this effort (and donate) here: http://www.storinguptreasures.com/2010/05/paying-it-forward.html

In addition, if you post about this on Facebook, Twitter, or your own blog, you will be entered into a contest for some great prizes!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Swagger Wagon

I love this! Thanks to my "bro" for pointing it out.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I have been reflecting lately that I have many areas of interest, only some of which I've blogged about. Partly because I'm busy all the time with my kids, and partly because I don't want to risk offending or being misunderstood, I tend to stick with what I see as safer subjects and keep others to myself unless asked. But I have prayed, researched, and discussed these so thoroughly with my husband that I feel it is time to step out of my comfort zone and make myself available to discuss them.

So here is a list of a few of my favorite things. Not everything on here is controversial. They are just the subjects that I like to think, read, write, and talk about most. Most of them are probably no surprise. (Maybe none of them are!) But I am hoping to write at least one blog post about each subject. This is a large goal for me and may take a year or more given how often I am able to post, but I am hoping to complete it eventually. If you're interested in any of these subjects, I hope to start a conversation with you. Please leave comments!

1. Knowing God through prayer, worship, and meditating on Scripture.

2. Marriage (Growing closer to my husband, learning to be a godly wife, the "s" word - submission.)

3. Parenting (Investing in relationships with my children, teaching them to know and love God, and modeling His love to them [ouch!].)

4. Natural Family Planning/Theology of the Body/Large Families (Could also be called "Are you sure you aren't Catholic?" BIG subject - lots to say - we'll see how this one goes.)

5. Home Schooling (Bible-centered, life apprenticeship, intergenerational relationships, one room schoolhouse, living books, non-charter.)

6. Adoption/Orphans (Ohh yeah. I LOVE this subject! Also learning about attachment in adoption - which helps with bio offspring as well, by the way.)

7. Reading (C. S. Lewis, George MacDonald, J. R. R. Tolkein, G. K. Chesterton, L. M. Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott, and the like. Also lots of nonfiction in areas of interest.)

8. Household Organization (Menus, Chore Charts, Finances, etc.)

9. Writing, Composing, Drawing, Journaling (When I have the time [sigh] .... But God is teaching me how to use these passions to enrich my children's education. Fun for me and for them!)

10. Healing from Sexual Addiction (Been there, walking the path of healing.)

11. Black hair and skin care (having fun learning about my daughter's hair and skin!) and other aspects of race and culture.

12. Cloth Diapers (Thought I'd never do it, but here I am, cloth diapering three little bottoms at once!)

13. Movies (Just for fun - though I often have a hard time doing anything just for fun - I like historical, biographical, musicals, classics, pure romance, and heroic.)

There you go. Anyone want to talk? Which should I blog about first?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Unfinished Thoughts

Now that I have been mother to an adopted child of another race for a few months, I have a few thoughts to share. They are a small contribution to the general discussion about adopting and race issues. I do not consider them well-thought-out or complete. Just me in the process of growing in understanding.

It seems to me that race is not a simple matter of clearly defined labels such as "red and yellow, black and white," though all people are certainly "precious in His sight." People's skin type, hair texture, and features are as varied as the people themselves. Some people are tall (like my husband), others are short (like me), and most fall somewhere in between (where probably most of our children will be). Dry skin crosses genetic and racial lines; it is a characteristic shared by two of my daughters (Laughter and Crown) and me. The reality is that every trait comes in a spectrum. There are infinite variety and combinations. How beautiful! I find it much more interesting than my previous notions that people could be categorized. (Not to mention that many people are not clearly "black" or "white" or anything else anyway; and increasing number of people are a lovely mixture of races, breaking down previously established boundary lines.)

One result of my changing mindset is that I am starting to realize that I don't so much need to learn how to do "black" hair. As I've talked with other moms, I have discovered that there is as much variety in "black" hair as there is in "white" hair (whatever that is). My daughters each have unique hair and skin, and it is my privilege to discover the products and techniques that best care for each of them. (In fact, it has taken me many years to find the right hair and body products for myself as well.)

On a slightly different note, the concept of adoption is a thread weaving itself throughout my consciousness. Last week, I was forced to spend an entire church service in the nursing mom's room enduring my adopted daughter's screams. In some ways, it seems easier to love her patiently in that situation than my birth children. After all, who do I have to be angry at? Myself? For I hunted her down and chose to have her in my life. In no way was she forced on me by chance or providence. Though I love my homegrown kids, my human nature has sometimes struggled not to resent their ubiquitous presence in my life. (I'm just being honest here.) I know it's a wrong attitude, and as I pray and mature, I learn to see them as a blessing and a privilege. Recently, I realized that if these very same children were in need of adoption, I would gladly welcome them into my home. There is no way I would allow them to be orphans if there was anything I could do about it. And suddenly, I found that they are incredibly precious. No longer simply extensions of myself, they are unique treasures in their own right. This may sound strange, but in my heart I decided to "adopt" every one of them. I kind of laugh at myself, because that thought makes me like them more! In some way, isn't that God's heart as well? He made us, true, but He also chose us, adopted us as His sons and daughters.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Thank You

I just want to post this video of Mark Schultz's song as a thank-you to our Crown Princess's birth mother, who loves our baby every day from a distance. I remember the day we met her. Her face was puffy from having been crying while waiting for us to come make her baby our own. While she was sure of her decision, that didn't make it easy for her AT ALL. She made the decision out of love. And we love her from the bottom of our hearts.

Mark Schultz's Song, Everything to Me

And if you want more, here's a short interview with Mark Schultz about the song.

Interview with Mark Schultz

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Celebrating the Lamb

Lambs make me really happy these days. Let me explain.

When I was a kid, my parents made certain decisions about how we celebrated holidays. We celebrated Jesus-only Christmases, Thanksgiving but not Halloween, and Easter without the Easter bunny. Since having children of my own, my husband and I have thought and prayed through these things for ourselves and have come to basically the same conclusions my parents did. We would much rather celebrate the "real meaning" in the sacred holidays than incorporate the secularized version. We don't want to muddy the waters of our children's understanding about God.

Now I want to state up front that I know not everyone comes to the same conclusions we have. In fact, I have come across some pretty compelling arguments for making different choices than we've made. I have no intention of trying to convince or defend our choices here. Many of our good friends celebrate Santa, the Easter bunny, and Halloween. I respect each family's privilege of following the Lord's leading in their own holiday traditions. I just want to share this part of our journey.

Back to my story. I have discovered that we can have the most well-thought-out reasons in the world for deciding to make a break with cultural traditions, but that doesn't make it any easier when we are walking with our children through a store and they see HUGE egg- and bunny-filled baskets and wonder why we don't plan to get them one. Or why we aren't going to have an Easter egg hunt. These things obviously must be an essential part of the Easter celebration. And I feel like a real heel. And I want to hide at home until it all just goes away.

But not really. That's not how I want to live. Nor is it the response we want to teach our children. So instead, last weekend we took the opportunity to sit down as a family and talk about it. Though it might have been easier (for now) to just say no and leave it at that, I know it won't work long-term. Neither is it how my parents modeled leadership to me. So instead, I prayed, asked Salt Racer to join the discussion, and calmed down (as I was getting pretty riled up about it all). As we talked, I started to realize that what our family needs is not merely we-don't-celebrate-Easter-bunnies-and-eggs, but a we-DO-celebrate-Jesus-the-Lamb! The kids and I totally latched on to that. We all started to see that we could have our own special holiday traditions without participating in the ones that are not OK for us.

Since that conversation, I have been so relieved. Now we have a direction to go in celebrating with our children during this season. We gathered up stuffed lambs for our own, personal version of Easter. For our Bible time this week, we walked through some of the events of Jesus' life the week before He laid down His life for us, such as the triumphal entry and washing of the disciples feet, finding that we gained deeper understanding as we did. We had great fun making Easter story cookies that I read about on Stephanie's blog. We went to see a beautiful, moving musical celebrating Jesus at Capital Christian Center. I put together little bowls of candy crosses and flowers for a Resurrection morning surprise. Instead of an Easter egg hunt, we will have a "Find-the-Lamb" hunt where, over the next few days, they will look for a big stuffed lamb hiding with a treat (just as the disciples never knew when or where they would see Jesus after His resurrection). Finally, I hope in the next few weeks to take them to a real sheep farm. And I even have ideas as to how we can expand and deepen these traditions in future years!

So I just wanted to share that for the first time in years, I am really excited about celebrating this week, which I prefer to call Passion Week or Holy Week, though I won't quibble about "Easter" since it's what most people are used to. I am excited to make this start on creating Easter holiday traditions that our children grow up anticipating with joy.



Hallelujah! The Lamb of God is risen! And ... HE'S COMING BACK!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Didn't Get the Memo

If you wonder why we do what we do (and why we intend to keep on doing it), read this post. I think it sums it up pretty well.

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2010/03/we-didnt-get-memo.html

This is not just for those who have hearts for adoption, but for all who give away their lives every day, laying down their lives for others instead of putting themselves first. Adoption is a big one on God's heart, and so is human trafficking, homelessness, sex addiction, poverty, single parenthood, and more ... there are so many opportunities. What has God laid on your heart?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

And a Good Time Was Had by All ...

Today we went to experience the snow with our children before it's too late for this season and it all melts away. The only way we were willing to venture out to do this was to have a specific destination in mind that offered hot chocolate, restrooms, and a place to go indoors. We decided on Squaw Valley. After spending the first few hours of the day getting everyone breakfasted, dressed, lunches made and all the accoutrements that go with babies and small children packed, we pulled out at 11am. We'd hoped to leave between 9-10am, but with a large brood, we're learning to be flexible.

Two hours later, driving two cars and having had only one baby scream for the last 20 minutes, we arrived. (Beloved Pearl and I had an awesome time chatting the whole way up and back. Though we do live and work together every day, we're pretty busy and don't always have as much time to talk as we'd like.) Packing the babies into the double stroller and making sure everyone had their warm things on, we discovered that Laughter had forgotten her coat and Mommy had forgotten to remind/help her find one. Well, we'll make the best of it. We planned to make this a short trip anyway.

After wandering around base camp to get our bearings, we decided to eat lunch at an outdoor barbecue area where we could see the skiers riding the lift and ending their runs. It was worth braving the cold wind in the shade for the chance to soak up the atmosphere and people-watch. (Plenty of people were watching us too, I'm sure!) As soon as the food had been consumed (and bottles warmed by nice taco-sellers at Beloved Pearl's request, and enjoyed by two hungry babies), we were ready to re-enter the sunshine and find some snow to play in. We trooped behind our brave leader as he scoped out the possibilities and settled on a patch of snow in front of a store. It was just the right size for our little crew! We laughed as we pictured how silly we must look playing in this tiny patch of snow and taking pictures as if this were the most marvelous experience we'd ever had while entire snow-covered mountains surrounded us. But we were having a blast! Even Thunder got to enjoy this snow adventure in miniature. Our brave Little Tree was delighted to discover another snowy hill just a few feet away, so we hiked across the pavement to have snow balls chucked at us by four gleeful children.

Laughter was unfortunately starting to turn blue, so we ended our snow exploration to retreat inside a Starbucks. Finding a little corner to take over (the only other occupants being a pair of very nice ladies who spoke kindly to our Precious Crown), Saltracer ordered a bunch of hot chocolates (our only expense on this trip besides gas). These having been consumed with great enjoyment (and only two spills, a few dozen napkins and a mop), we headed out. Stopped by the restroom to make sure those who could go potty in the toilet went and those who couldn't were changed (discovering after the first un-diapering that all diapers had been left in the van, so auntie ran to tell daddy who ran to get them while auntie stayed with those outside the bathroom and mommy stood guard over aforementioned un-diapered baby and those children who were still in the bathroom). Loaded up the cars two hours after having arrived with four tired and happy children, two tired and not quite as happy babies, and three tired and happy grownups for an uneventful drive home.

Not bad. Not bad at all.