I have been reflecting lately that I have many areas of interest, only some of which I've blogged about. Partly because I'm busy all the time with my kids, and partly because I don't want to risk offending or being misunderstood, I tend to stick with what I see as safer subjects and keep others to myself unless asked. But I have prayed, researched, and discussed these so thoroughly with my husband that I feel it is time to step out of my comfort zone and make myself available to discuss them.
So here is a list of a few of my favorite things. Not everything on here is controversial. They are just the subjects that I like to think, read, write, and talk about most. Most of them are probably no surprise. (Maybe none of them are!) But I am hoping to write at least one blog post about each subject. This is a large goal for me and may take a year or more given how often I am able to post, but I am hoping to complete it eventually. If you're interested in any of these subjects, I hope to start a conversation with you. Please leave comments!
1. Knowing God through prayer, worship, and meditating on Scripture.
2. Marriage (Growing closer to my husband, learning to be a godly wife, the "s" word - submission.)
3. Parenting (Investing in relationships with my children, teaching them to know and love God, and modeling His love to them [ouch!].)
4. Natural Family Planning/Theology of the Body/Large Families (Could also be called "Are you sure you aren't Catholic?" BIG subject - lots to say - we'll see how this one goes.)
5. Home Schooling (Bible-centered, life apprenticeship, intergenerational relationships, one room schoolhouse, living books, non-charter.)
6. Adoption/Orphans (Ohh yeah. I LOVE this subject! Also learning about attachment in adoption - which helps with bio offspring as well, by the way.)
7. Reading (C. S. Lewis, George MacDonald, J. R. R. Tolkein, G. K. Chesterton, L. M. Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott, and the like. Also lots of nonfiction in areas of interest.)
8. Household Organization (Menus, Chore Charts, Finances, etc.)
9. Writing, Composing, Drawing, Journaling (When I have the time [sigh] .... But God is teaching me how to use these passions to enrich my children's education. Fun for me and for them!)
10. Healing from Sexual Addiction (Been there, walking the path of healing.)
11. Black hair and skin care (having fun learning about my daughter's hair and skin!) and other aspects of race and culture.
12. Cloth Diapers (Thought I'd never do it, but here I am, cloth diapering three little bottoms at once!)
13. Movies (Just for fun - though I often have a hard time doing anything just for fun - I like historical, biographical, musicals, classics, pure romance, and heroic.)
There you go. Anyone want to talk? Which should I blog about first?
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Monday, August 11, 2008
Thoughts on Adoption, part 1
I have been thinking a lot lately about adoption. Why are we doing this? Is it a good idea? Are we hearing God, or just going off half-cocked with good intentions but little wisdom? What will people think? What does God think?
I know what I think. I think we're more than a little crazy. We have four children already. Our oldest is five, and our youngest is five months. There are many days when I wonder how in the world I will survive the next five years--no, minutes. In nearly seven years of marriage, we have yet to go more than nine months of our marriage without getting pregnant, and in addition to our four living children, we have had two miscarriages. In the natural, it makes sense that this would be a time to step back and regroup, not a time to step it up yet again.
And yet.
There is a burning in my heart that will not be ignored. And when I tap into that place, that God-space inside me, all of my objections are burned away in an instant. Suddenly I don't care how tired I am, how messy my house gets, or how much more I have to slow down my life. Suddenly I realize that my life is not getting more complicated by adding more children. No, with each additional child my life becomes less complicated. My focus turns more and more toward home, toward love, toward being. I have much less time and energy for outside activities and lots of doing. Instead, I find myself stopping, looking into little faces, smiling, laughing. Oh, there are still the moments (and they are many) when I think I am going to collapse under the drain of the continual need of the little people in my life. But then I am constrained once again to look at what I am really trying to do, who I am really called to be. To refocus my gaze. To stop trying so hard. To relax and let this season be what it is.
What is this season?
This is not a season for outward accomplishments. This is not a season for pursuing goals. This is not a season for being SuperMom. This is not a season for doing much at all.
And yet ... it is.
It is a season for digging deep. It is a season for gazing at the face of the One I love most in the countenances of His children. For wiping His tears, bandaging His owies, preparing His food, and, yes, even changing His diapers. It is a season for becoming less, less, and then much, much less, while He becomes more, more and more again within me, to me, through me, around me, above me, beneath me, permeating the very air I breathe.
It is a season for becoming, for discovering who I am in His heart as all my outward identities are stripped away. A season for being hidden in the palm of His hand, being fed from His table, and delighting in the intimacy of His gaze. A season for knowing that, though I am mostly invisible to the outside world, though most of my accomplishments go unnoticed, He sees. A season for learning that that is enough. It is more than enough. It is everything.
It is a season for learning that He is enough.
I meant to focus on adoption in this post, but my heart is so full that I couldn't even get that far. Think of this as the preamble. I have much more to share another time. For now, wherever you may be, whatever the circumstances in which you find yourself, I pray that in that very place you will find God. He is so worth finding that all the struggle becomes nothing compared with the delight of knowing Him.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2Co 4:17-18 NKJV)
I know what I think. I think we're more than a little crazy. We have four children already. Our oldest is five, and our youngest is five months. There are many days when I wonder how in the world I will survive the next five years--no, minutes. In nearly seven years of marriage, we have yet to go more than nine months of our marriage without getting pregnant, and in addition to our four living children, we have had two miscarriages. In the natural, it makes sense that this would be a time to step back and regroup, not a time to step it up yet again.
And yet.
There is a burning in my heart that will not be ignored. And when I tap into that place, that God-space inside me, all of my objections are burned away in an instant. Suddenly I don't care how tired I am, how messy my house gets, or how much more I have to slow down my life. Suddenly I realize that my life is not getting more complicated by adding more children. No, with each additional child my life becomes less complicated. My focus turns more and more toward home, toward love, toward being. I have much less time and energy for outside activities and lots of doing. Instead, I find myself stopping, looking into little faces, smiling, laughing. Oh, there are still the moments (and they are many) when I think I am going to collapse under the drain of the continual need of the little people in my life. But then I am constrained once again to look at what I am really trying to do, who I am really called to be. To refocus my gaze. To stop trying so hard. To relax and let this season be what it is.
What is this season?
This is not a season for outward accomplishments. This is not a season for pursuing goals. This is not a season for being SuperMom. This is not a season for doing much at all.
And yet ... it is.
It is a season for digging deep. It is a season for gazing at the face of the One I love most in the countenances of His children. For wiping His tears, bandaging His owies, preparing His food, and, yes, even changing His diapers. It is a season for becoming less, less, and then much, much less, while He becomes more, more and more again within me, to me, through me, around me, above me, beneath me, permeating the very air I breathe.
It is a season for becoming, for discovering who I am in His heart as all my outward identities are stripped away. A season for being hidden in the palm of His hand, being fed from His table, and delighting in the intimacy of His gaze. A season for knowing that, though I am mostly invisible to the outside world, though most of my accomplishments go unnoticed, He sees. A season for learning that that is enough. It is more than enough. It is everything.
It is a season for learning that He is enough.
I meant to focus on adoption in this post, but my heart is so full that I couldn't even get that far. Think of this as the preamble. I have much more to share another time. For now, wherever you may be, whatever the circumstances in which you find yourself, I pray that in that very place you will find God. He is so worth finding that all the struggle becomes nothing compared with the delight of knowing Him.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2Co 4:17-18 NKJV)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Surprise: We're expecting!
Dear Friends and Family:
It's true! Another baby is on the way!
We are very excited. We have just signed a contract with Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC). They are not an agency themselves, but they work with agencies from across the country to find suitable homes for babies. Because we already have children and have no issues with fertility (quite the opposite!) we have found that we don't fit the "standard" profile of adoptive couples. The benefits for us deciding to use CAC instead of going with an agency directly is that we will have access to a much larger pool of children and they will be able to match us with agencies that are willing to accommodate our particular situation.
As many of you know, we have long desired to adopt, having even pursued it twice. Each time God has closed the doors for us. We have left this path of family growth in God's hands, and he has been faithful. Recently, we both have felt the Holy Spirit urging us to go ahead and try again, so here we are!
Our desire is to provide a home for an African-American baby. The need for adoption of minority children is so high that agencies discount their costs to encourage couples to adopt across racial lines. Even with those discounts, the costs for adoption will easily reach $20,000 or more. That is certainly an amount of money we don't have, but the Lord does! We are approaching adoption as much excitement and as much of an open heart as with the birth of any of our children.
We hope to be conducting the home study during the fall and to be matched with a baby within a year from now.
If you would like, you can follow along this journey here with us on Michelle's family blog.
With joy,
Paul and Michelle
It's true! Another baby is on the way!
We are very excited. We have just signed a contract with Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC). They are not an agency themselves, but they work with agencies from across the country to find suitable homes for babies. Because we already have children and have no issues with fertility (quite the opposite!) we have found that we don't fit the "standard" profile of adoptive couples. The benefits for us deciding to use CAC instead of going with an agency directly is that we will have access to a much larger pool of children and they will be able to match us with agencies that are willing to accommodate our particular situation.
As many of you know, we have long desired to adopt, having even pursued it twice. Each time God has closed the doors for us. We have left this path of family growth in God's hands, and he has been faithful. Recently, we both have felt the Holy Spirit urging us to go ahead and try again, so here we are!
Our desire is to provide a home for an African-American baby. The need for adoption of minority children is so high that agencies discount their costs to encourage couples to adopt across racial lines. Even with those discounts, the costs for adoption will easily reach $20,000 or more. That is certainly an amount of money we don't have, but the Lord does! We are approaching adoption as much excitement and as much of an open heart as with the birth of any of our children.
We hope to be conducting the home study during the fall and to be matched with a baby within a year from now.
If you would like, you can follow along this journey here with us on Michelle's family blog.
With joy,
Paul and Michelle
Monday, June 23, 2008
An Honorable Calling?
Yesterday I was talking with a group of friends about adoption. One lady started asking what kind of adoption each of us desires. I said that my heart is to adopt an African-American baby domestically. She responded, "That is honorable." I kind of did a double take and looked at her, so she repeated herself. "That is really honorable that you would do that." I know that she meant to express approval, but the comment actually bothered me quite a bit. Why should it be honorable to do what seems to me so obvious?
When my husband and I began researching domestic adoption, we heard that it took a long time because domestic babies were in high demand. We had no desire to stand in line to get a baby that will be adopted anyway, so we started asking where the area of need was. Who are the babies that end up being raised in the foster system? We quickly found out that one major group of children who have a hard time finding families are African-American babies. So we immediately decided that we would adopt in that demographic. Why not? Maybe we're naive (certainly some of the reading I have done would try to convince me that we are). Maybe there are issues that I don't understand. But bottom line, these are children who need a family, and we are a family who want more children to love.
Isn't it really that simple? I'm not saying easy; it is never easy to love. Laying down your life day in and day out for another person is always challenging. (I find that true with the four children I already have.) But I don't think Jesus said to love one another when it's easy or when it's convenient. He simply said to love. So why should I place conditions on whom I love? And why should it be more honorable to love one person more than another? Jesus made no such distinctions, and I pray that He will give me the grace to do the same.
So, while I appreciate the intention behind the compliment, I pray that all of our hearts will change until the first thing we see about another person is not the color of their skin, hair, eyes, or any other outward quality, though I find the differences beautiful and fascinating. (And, lest I sound holier-than-thou, let me point out that I still have much growing to do in this area myself.) When we look at one another, may we first see a brother to love.
Lord, please give us the grace to really love one another the way You love us.
When my husband and I began researching domestic adoption, we heard that it took a long time because domestic babies were in high demand. We had no desire to stand in line to get a baby that will be adopted anyway, so we started asking where the area of need was. Who are the babies that end up being raised in the foster system? We quickly found out that one major group of children who have a hard time finding families are African-American babies. So we immediately decided that we would adopt in that demographic. Why not? Maybe we're naive (certainly some of the reading I have done would try to convince me that we are). Maybe there are issues that I don't understand. But bottom line, these are children who need a family, and we are a family who want more children to love.
Isn't it really that simple? I'm not saying easy; it is never easy to love. Laying down your life day in and day out for another person is always challenging. (I find that true with the four children I already have.) But I don't think Jesus said to love one another when it's easy or when it's convenient. He simply said to love. So why should I place conditions on whom I love? And why should it be more honorable to love one person more than another? Jesus made no such distinctions, and I pray that He will give me the grace to do the same.
So, while I appreciate the intention behind the compliment, I pray that all of our hearts will change until the first thing we see about another person is not the color of their skin, hair, eyes, or any other outward quality, though I find the differences beautiful and fascinating. (And, lest I sound holier-than-thou, let me point out that I still have much growing to do in this area myself.) When we look at one another, may we first see a brother to love.
Lord, please give us the grace to really love one another the way You love us.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Imperfect Parenting
“It finally dawned on me that I had asked something of my parents that they could never be: I had wanted them to love me as only God can love me. And I wanted to love my kids as only God could love them.
“In short, either I was setting up rivals for God or I was trying to compete with God—both are efforts doomed to failure. I finally came to a major crossroads: instead of competing with God, I realized God had called me to focus my efforts on introducing my kids to God, even using my own failures and inadequacies as compelling causes for my children to find their refuge in him.
“What will it be for you? Will you try to compete with God, or will you work to introduce your children to the one true God?” (Gary Thomas, Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls, p. 44).
Lord, please help me give up trying to be the perfect parent, the perfect representative of You to my children. Instead, may I live repentant before my children to help them recognize that You are the only one who can love them perfectly.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me. (Psalm 27:10 NKJV)
Though I do not want to, I know that I daily let my kids down in many ways. You, however, are the perfect parent that they need. Help them to find You and to be secure in Your love, and help me to forgive myself when I fall short.
“In short, either I was setting up rivals for God or I was trying to compete with God—both are efforts doomed to failure. I finally came to a major crossroads: instead of competing with God, I realized God had called me to focus my efforts on introducing my kids to God, even using my own failures and inadequacies as compelling causes for my children to find their refuge in him.
“What will it be for you? Will you try to compete with God, or will you work to introduce your children to the one true God?” (Gary Thomas, Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls, p. 44).
Lord, please help me give up trying to be the perfect parent, the perfect representative of You to my children. Instead, may I live repentant before my children to help them recognize that You are the only one who can love them perfectly.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me. (Psalm 27:10 NKJV)
Though I do not want to, I know that I daily let my kids down in many ways. You, however, are the perfect parent that they need. Help them to find You and to be secure in Your love, and help me to forgive myself when I fall short.
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