Thursday, January 12, 2012

Things I Could be Doing at 5am


  1. Sleeping (this is what I was hoping to be doing ... at least until 6am ... but instead I've been awake since about 4am).
  2. Taking care of sick children (thankfully no one has thrown up since midnight).
  3. Blogging (guess that's what I'm doing right now).
  4. Facebook (did that briefly).
  5. Working on the family finances (haven't been able to get to it yet this week).
  6. Making dinner for this evening (but I'm afraid it's a bit too early and I'd wake the family up).
  7. Taking a walk (yes, that is a serious consideration ... but maybe I'll wait for sunrise).
  8. Taking a shower (see #6).
  9. Nursing a baby (that's what I anticipate doing in about 13 weeks!)
  10. Listening to Daily Audio Bible and praying.
I think I'll opt for #10. We'll see how the Lord leads from there.

You know, Lord, that we have been sick this week. You know how much sleep You made me to need. You know that I went to bed at midnight last night, turning off my alarm and trusting You to wake me at the right time. You woke me before 4am. I don't know what You have in mind for today, but please fill me with Your love and strengthen me by Your grace. I love You and trust You.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Reconnecting

Satisfy us in each morning with Your unfailing love,
so we may sing with joy to the end of our lives.
Psalm 90:14, NLT

Early mornings are when I am most myself. All is quiet, the sun is rising, my heart is open, and the cares of the day are still an hour or two away. It is an opportunity to just be me before my Father, resting in Him and opening my heart to receive. Spirit, soul, and body fed by His love.

I can ruin it of course, by waking with a bunch of goals and a load of expectations. But the best times are when I leave all that behind and let Him lead me, setting my heart on just one thing: to seek His face and listen to His voice. That's all I really need.

There are many mornings when I do not get up early. Many, many. Late nights, sickness, forgetting ... these and many other reasons keep me in bed late. But after a while I remember ... He reminds me ... and I begin again to respond to His invitation to come, taste, see what He has in store for me. I come. I am always glad that I did.

Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!
Psalm 34:8, NLT

Lord, help me to respond daily to your call to wake early, letting You renew my heart and mind with Your love.

Some favorite early morning companions which point me to God:

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Changes

First of all, I can hardly believe it's been so long since I've posted. I know I've always been a bit sporadic, but five months is a long time to be quiet. That's not very like me. I think the reason is that there has been so much going on inside that I've been processing, I haven't known what to say. So I've been just living life (which has been good, by the way) and waiting on the Lord for further direction.

In the meantime, there have been a few changes. First of all, we are pregnant! Our sweet baby #7 is due to come on Easter Sunday, April 8, 2012. I really hope that he/she is born on that day. It just means so much to me. This baby is such a gift from God. I have had such a hard time with my attitude about being pregnant in the past, but since adding Crown and Lion to our family in 2009, my heart has changed so much. I want to welcome every little one with whom God blesses us with open arms and an open heart. Including the process of their arrival, whether through my womb or that of another loving birth mother. So there has been a dual desire in my heart. I want ... oh, so badly ... to adopt again soon. And I also want to have the incredible opportunity to carry another little life inside, and this time with a good attitude!

Regarding adoption, we are still waiting on the Lord. Despite our completed home study, there have not yet been any open doors for us in this area. We are praying and hoping that it will not be too much longer!

And finally, we are moving! While doors have not yet opened for us to adopt again, doors have opened (for the first time since we sold our last home in 2006) for us to buy a house! It's a pretty farm house out in the country, and we are SO excited to move our family there. The property is an acre, which we plan to "homestead" farm with gardens, goats, chickens, and whatever else we can dream of. We will be surrounded by beautiful 20+ acre horse ranches, trees, and fields. This is a dream come true for Saltracer and me, as we have longed to raise our children in a more rural environment. The house itself is in some need of repair (hence our ability to purchase it for a low price), so we will be spending the first few months/year or more remodeling and renovating to make it just right. I'm actually looking forward to it, as I feel that this is my opportunity to really design my home just the way I want it. I haven't been so excited about creating a home since moving into our first home, a small townhouse, and setting it up when we were newlyweds.

Speaking of which, we celebrated our 10th anniversary during my "quiet period." We enjoyed a beautiful, romantic weekend in Sutter Creek at The Grey Gables bed and breakfast. It was so fun to relax, talk, walk, and dream together. That weekend was actually the seed for us coming home and seriously looking into purchasing a farm house. Now look what God has done! I am in awe.

I hope soon to post pictures of our new home. We'll have to post "before" and "after" pictures during the renovation. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this update and that God is blessing you abundantly, above all that you could ask or think.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

God is our good shepherd

Here is the news you've been waiting for! This may not be what we were hoping to hear, but God's will is perfect and we are resting in Him.

We heard back from the boys' social worker, and the result, in short, is that we have been un-chosen as these kids' match. We were not able to meet the requirements of the agency in their time frame, so at this point they need to move on to consider other families.

Our reaction is perfect peace. A few years ago, we heard Derek Loux say that God is our good shepherd. We say yes to Him, and He opens and closes the doors to let us know if this is the direction He wants us to go. If we are not the family for these boys, then we trust that God has another family who will be a safe place for them to grow and learn about Him.

We are still excited about our adoption, for which we have been preparing the past few months. The good news is that our home study is now complete, and we are ready to adopt! We will take a few days to process and wrap up this situation, and then we will begin applying for other situations. We will also begin the process of applying for grants available through ABBA Fund, Show Hope, etc.

For those who have donated, we will be contacting you by email in the next day or two. We will be offering three options: 1) We will gladly return your money to you should you so desire; 2) We will make sure that your donation is sent along to help the family chosen for the three boys to adopt them; or 3) You may choose to apply the funds to our next adoption, which we are hoping will happen in the next few months. Whatever you choose, we bless and honor you for your loving sacrifice over the past two days.

Thank you for joining us on this exciting and unpredictable journey of adoption! We will be posting again soon about our new direction.

Where we are at ...

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the donations so far. They are greatly appreciated.

Some people may be a little confused about where we are at and what is going on.

We are moving ahead to try and get these boys. Just not as quickly as some would like us to. With adoption there are many questions, and not a lot of answers. We are waiting to hear back from the placement agency on these questions.

If the fact that this placement isn't a done deal makes people uncomfortable giving we TOTALLY and COMPLETELY understand. As Paul mentioned last night, there are two tracks that are needing to happen simultaneously: information and fundraising. The fundraising is like Gideon's Fleece for us. And it's coming in, just not as quickly as we had hoped. We see this as God's confirmation to proceed a bit more slowly.

All that said: We are NOT giving up. We aren't backing down. We are doing this for HIS sake. These boys are HIS children. We want them to be our children too. The question is: Will He let us? We only want to do His will. No more. No less.

We will let you know further as soon as possible. Thank you again for your generosity!

(Note: If the placement with us falls through, then we will be contacting each donor individually and privately to determine what you would like us to do with your donation.)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Generosity

So the total money we now have toward our adoption is $6670. We started out by putting in $5000 ourselves, money that we had set aside for adoption, savings, and other projects. Our seed offering. The rest has been given to us by 64 people - sixty-four very generous family and friends who either love us, love children, or both. I cannot thank you enough. (And I look forward to an upcoming home school project with my children of writing lots and lots of thank-you notes!)

One of the biggest things I am realizing is how many people love adoption. How many people's hearts are stirred to care for three little boys they have never met. Three little boys who some may soon welcome into their family and friend community. Three little boys who others may never meet in this world. But it makes no difference. Because we are all brothers and sisters. We are all the body of Christ, and we care for one another. That's the way it should be. And I am honored to be a part of it. You have blessed and encouraged me beyond words. Not only that you would give so generously, but that we really are not alone in our heart to care for orphans. Isn't that so prideful? But it can start to feel that way sometimes. And then something like this happens and you realize how mistaken you were. Many, many, many people love the Lord and love His children. Thank you for showing that to me today.

We are wanting to make sure that we follow the Lord very carefully in this. We will be talking with the social workers more tomorrow to get more information. We want to be sure that we really are the best family for these boys and they for us. This is not a commitment that we take lightly, so we are diligently seeking out godly counsel and wisdom. We hope to make a trip soon to meet them (hopefully with all our children!). We will definitely keep you updated.

Please keep praying!!!!! We are seeking God's face with all our hearts.

For a more in-depth analysis of our status in this situation, please read my husband's blog post.


Update on 3 Little Boys


My mind is reeling with all that's happened today. We talked with the boys' social worker and our own social worker. We are the first choice for these boys! We are thrilled and excited and nervous all at once. But beneath it all we know that we want God's will more than anything. We will be working on every front to make sure that we can bring them into our home (if it is God's will). We are contacting everyone we know to get the information and resources we need.

Here's a picture of my kids yesterday, fascinated by a lizard found on our back porch. Just to keep it real. :)


Thank you so much for the many donations we have received already! We are already up to $5710, and more donations keep coming in. I am in awe of how quickly God can move things when it's His time. Thank you, and please keep praying for us.


Monday, June 13, 2011

Here We Go!

So ... where do I begin? ... Yesterday we heard through Christian Adoption Consultants about three little boys, ages 5, 4, and 3, who need a home immediately. They were looking for families in Arizona or Virginia, but were open to considering families from others states. We looked at each other, each thinking, should we be open to this situation? It's not exactly (or even remotely) what we've been preparing for.

Background: We've been praying and preparing to welcome a baby boy or girl into our family this year. Before we started our home study, we prayed about what direction God would have us to go this time in our adoption. We felt led to domestic adoption again, so that's what we've been anticipating. We've even had a due date time frame in mind, based on a feeling I had last fall that our baby was being conceived around then. We went through CAC last time and felt peace about going that route again. We knew that they occasionally find placements for older children and sibling sets, but that is rare, so we naturally assumed that our next child would be a baby.

So when we heard about these boys, my first reaction was that they aren't for us. We are in California, and we are expecting to adopt a baby. However, I have also committed in my heart never to say no to anything God might call me to. I also know that my impressions are not always correct, so while I pay attention to them, I hold them lightly. They take on a lot more credibility when that chapter in the story is done and I can see more clearly how God has led us.

Since our home study is all but complete, since this is an urgent situation, and since we had peace about it, after praying we agreed to let the social worker know that we are open to the situation. After all, there are some hurdles to cross before this can become reality. First of all, we have to be picked. Second, there is the small matter of $30,000 needed. We don't have nearly that much money. (Yet.) But we know that if this is God's will for us and for the boys, the money is no problem for Him.

The boys are adorable. I don't know much at this point, but I do know that their birth father, who has been raising them, appears to love them very much and is unable to care for them. I believe he is trying desperately to do what is best for them. And I don't want to be responsible for allowing them to fall through the cracks because I didn't speak up.

In fact, this verse was on my heart yesterday:

"Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice! Stand up for the poor and destitute!" (Proverbs 31:8-9, MSG).

I don't think I have many illusions about this. I've hear and read about attachment and children from hard places. I know that this could be a very rough road. But I also know that I serve a God who cares about orphans much more than I do. And I am confident that where He calls, He equips. There could be some very hard days ahead, but He will be faithful.

This morning we emailed the boys' social worker to let her know that we are open to this situation. This afternoon she asked us if we would be available to travel THIS WEEK. We can and will, if that is what God wants. We simply want to have wisdom and discernment to know what His will is.

We had a family conference with our kids, emphasizing that if we do adopt these boys, things will not be the same around here. There will be even more sharing, serving, being patient, loving, forgiving, etc. They voted unanimously that we go ahead and see if God wants them to be in our family.

So I am asking you two things. First and most importantly, PLEASE PRAY. Pray that God's will be done on behalf of these boys and for our family. Pray that we will have discernment. Pray that God will make it very clear what our role is to be in these three boys' lives.

Second, if you feel led to donate toward our adoption, you may do so through the button at the right. If you would prefer to mail a check, please email me directly at mswagerty [at] gmail [dot] com. Due to the urgent nature of this situation, we will need the $30K in just a few days in order to rescue these children. If you desire to partner with us, we will be very grateful. One of the ways we will know whether this is God's will is if He provides the finances to do it in the necessary time frame.

Thank you for reading this and for praying for us. We look forward to posting further updates as we know more!





If you would like to read my husband's post about this adoption, please click here: http://saltracer.blogspot.com/2011/06/three-little-boys.html.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Adoption Is Expensive

One of the first comments I hear from people considering adoption is, "Adoption is so expensive!" They have a heart to help. They feel that they have love to share with a child. But they wonder how they could possibly come up with tens of thousands of dollars to make it happen.

I understand this mindset. When I first started researching adoption, the first question I would ask was, "How much does it cost?" Then I would go away feeling discouraged because I didn't see how we could possibly do it.

Then I started hearing stories from people whom I knew did not have millions stashed away somewhere. Regular people who, like me, simply wanted to obey God's call to care for orphans (Isaiah 58:6-12; James 1:27). They spoke of a fountain of blessing that God pours out on the heads of those who step into the gap to care for the lowest - those closest to His heart - the widows, orphans, and poor. Those who do not have anyone to speak up for them. They spoke of how God delights to meet their needs, and how those who partner with Him in helping them get to splash in the pool of His provision, laughing and playing in His delight. They spoke of impossible mountains being conquered, expensive surgeries being provided for, and deep emotional wounds being healed. So I began to pay attention as I read my Bible. Was this true? Did God truly say that this would happen? What I found amazed me. Here are some of my favorite verses:

"Some give freely and still get richer, while others are stingy but grow still poorer. The person who blesses others will prosper; he who satisfies others will be satisfied himself" (Proverbs 11:24, 25 CJV).

Wow! So ... if I hoard my resources to care only for myself and my family, then I may grow only poorer and poorer, thus reinforcing my belief that I do not have enough to share with others. However, if I give freely, trusting my future to God, then He will bring the increase and satisfy all my needs.

"Here is the sort of fast I want ... sharing your food with the hungry, taking the homeless poor into your house, clothing the naked when you see them, fulfilling your duty to your kinsmen! Then your light will burst forth like the morning ... Then you will call, and Adonai will answer; you will cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' ... If you will ... generously offer food to the hungry and meet the needs of the person in trouble; then your light will rise in the darkness, and your gloom become like noon. Adonai will always guide you; he will satisfy your needs in the desert, he will renew the strength of your limbs; so that you will be like a watered garden, like spring whose water never fails" (Isaiah 58:6-12, emphasis mine).

"Do not store up for yourselves wealth here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and burglars break in and steal. Instead store up for yourselves wealth in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and burglars do not break in or steal. For where your wealth is, there your heart will be also. ... So don't be anxious, asking, 'What will we eat?,' 'What will we drink?' or 'How will we be clothed?' ... But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:19, 20, 31, 33, emphasis mine).

"Here's the point: he who plants sparingly also harvests sparingly. ... Moreover, God has the power to provide you with every gracious gift in abundance, so that always in every way you will have all you need yourselves, and be able to provide abundantly for every good cause. ... He provides both seed for the planter and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed and increase the harvest of our righteousness. You will be enriched in every way, so that you can be generous in everything" (2 Corinthians 9:6-8, 10, 11, emphasis mine).

So if you are one of those who would like to adopt but haven't been sure whether you could afford it, I ask you to consider this challenge: can you really afford not to? Take these verses before God. Ask Him to explain them to you. Think about them. And watch while your faith rises to the point that you are willing to step out, take a risk on God's faithfulness to keep His promises, and see what He will do!

Friday, March 11, 2011

A Little Crazy?

A friend recently drew my attention to this post that I wrote three years ago. I am thankful that in many ways, life is not as hard as it was then. My oldest three children, now eight, six, and five, are SO helpful. And I am much more at peace with my life. With some hormonal supplementation and lots of prayer, I experience depression much less than I used to. We now have six children and are beginning the process to adopt #7! Yet, somehow, I feel a little less crazy than I did then. Rereading this today, it rings more true than ever.

I have been thinking a lot lately about adoption. Why are we doing this? Is it a good idea? Are we hearing God, or just going off half-cocked with good intentions but little wisdom? What will people think? What does God think?

I know what I think. I think we're more than a little crazy. We have four (now six) children already. Our oldest is five (now eight), and our youngest is five months (nineteen months). There are many (only some now, thankfully, since the depression is largely gone) days when I wonder how in the world I will survive the next five years--no, minutes. In nearly seven (now ten) years of marriage, we have yet to go more than nine months of our marriage without getting pregnant (nineteen months and counting now), and in addition to our four living children, we have had two miscarriages. In the natural, it makes sense that this would be a time to step back and regroup, not a time to step it up yet again.

And yet.

There is a burning in my heart that will not be ignored. And when I tap into that place, that God-space inside me, all of my objections are burned away in an instant. Suddenly I don't care how tired I am, how messy my house gets, or how much more I have to slow down my life. Suddenly I realize that my life is not getting more complicated by adding more children. No, with each additional child my life becomes less complicated. My focus turns more and more toward home, toward love, toward being. I have much less time and energy for outside activities and lots of doing. Instead, I find myself stopping, looking into little faces, smiling, laughing. Oh, there are still the moments (and they are many) when I think I am going to collapse under the drain of the continual need of the little people in my life. But then I am constrained once again to look at what I am really trying to do, who I am really called to be. To refocus my gaze. To stop trying so hard. To relax and let this season be what it is.

What is this season?

This is not a season for outward accomplishments. This is not a season for pursuing goals. This is not a season for being SuperMom. This is not a season for doing much at all.

And yet ... it is.

It is a season for digging deep. It is a season for gazing at the face of the One I love most in the countenances of His children. For wiping His tears, bandaging His owies, preparing His food, and, yes, even changing His diapers. It is a season for becoming less, less, and then much, much less, while He becomes more, more and more again within me, to me, through me, around me, above me, beneath me, permeating the very air I breathe.

It is a season for becoming, for discovering who I am in His heart as all my outward identities are stripped away. A season for being hidden in the palm of His hand, being fed from His table, and delighting in the intimacy of His gaze. A season for knowing that, though I am mostly invisible to the outside world, though most of my accomplishments go unnoticed, He sees. A season for learning that that is enough. It is more than enough. It is everything.

It is a season for learning that He is enough.

I meant to focus on adoption in this post, but my heart is so full that I couldn't even get that far. Think of this as the preamble. I have much more to share another time. For now, wherever you may be, whatever the circumstances in which you find yourself, I pray that in that very place you will find God. He is so worth finding that all the struggle becomes nothing compared with the delight of knowing Him.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2Co 4:17-18 NKJV)

Monday, November 22, 2010

It Doesn't Take a Supermom to Homeschool ... (part 2 of 2)

I would like to finish this post by sharing some of the ways that I homeschool my children. Not because I think that it's the only right way to do it, but because some of it might help another homeschooling mom. If the shoe fits, then wear it! (And if it doesn't, move on and find another one that does.)

First of all, we choose not to participate in charter school. We do not want the added pressure of having to meet public school standards. I enjoy being accountable only to my husband and God. I do sometimes wish that we had money for activities like soccer, ballet, gymnastics, or horseback riding, but my husband and I feel that God (not the government) will provide what we need when (and if) we need it.

I choose not to use prepackaged curricula for most subjects because I feel that would make homeschooling less fun for us and add unnecessary pressure. I also don't try to do every subject every day. We do try to do Bible and reading every day. The other subjects I try to do three days a week. I only "plan" school work for Monday-Thursday, leaving Fridays to do makeup work and/or something fun (like going to the library or on a field trip).

For reading, I use a simple phonics program that I downloaded from the internet. First, I used it to teach my highly motivated first daughter (currently 7 years old) to read. She quickly blew through it and now reads anything she can get her hands on. Currently I am using it to teach my 6-year-old daughter to read. She is going slowly but delights to understanding more and more words. I have not even started to teach my four-year-old formally, but he catches the overflow, and I try to read to him a little every day. My kids also enjoy workbooks, so I got them some spelling and writing workbooks. They do a couple of pages a day in each workbook.

For math, we are using a prepackaged curriculum called Right Start Math. All three of my kids are still in the first (aka, Kindergarten) level. We are going really slowly through this because I want to be sure that they (and I) really understand and enjoy it. I started out teaching my two older girls together, but it was frustrating for them both because of the differences in their abilities. It was also frustrating to me because our lessons were taking 1-2 hours a day. So I continued with my older daughter, who is now nearly finished with Level A and will soon begin Level B (when we can afford to buy it). Her math lessons now take about 15-30 minutes a day. After a break I started over with my 6-year-old and added her 4- (almost 5-) year-old brother. So far they seems to be working well together, and she doesn't seem to have noticed that I set her back. She also enjoys math a lot more now. I do too, especially since I can get their lesson done in 30 minutes a day.

For P.E. , we take walks and go swimming at a neighbor's pool.

For science, we notice things on our walks and in everyday life. The other day we saw a little snake on the sidewalk. I had my kids draw a snake when we got home, and my oldest (who can read and write on her own) wrote a few sentences describing it. I have a book of science experiments you can do at home, but we haven't cracked it open yet. Sometimes something comes up that my kids ask a question about. Last week it was, "What is lava?" I proceeded to explain volcanoes to them and wrote it down as our science for the day. Later, when a volcano erupted recently in Indonesia, we talked about it. I read a news article to them (to which they only marginally paid attention), we watched Youtube videos of volcanoes erupting (they loved that part), and they drew pictures of volcanoes. Bonus: we prayed for the Indonesian people too!

For social studies, we are currently using free stuff that I found on the Voice of the Martyrs website, kidsofcouragemag.net. They have activity booklets on several different countries. I printed out one on Malaysia, and we enjoyed reading about that country and doing the simple activities that were included. Next we will be starting to study Ethiopia. (Last year, we used Five in a Row, a picture-book-based unit study curriculum, and we loved it - it was very fun and easy to do.)

Last but certainly not least, our main subject is Bible. This is the one that we try to do every day no matter what. We are reading through a chronological Bible paraphrase called Day by Day Kids' Bible. My kids love to draw, so every other week or so, I tell them the subject headings for upcoming sections, and they draw pictures that are related. I make copies (we invested in a good printer/copier that wasn't too expensive this year, and it's great). Then, each day during "Bible Time," they color our homemade Bible coloring pages while I read to them. We have a "prayer box," a simple index card file on which I write prayer requests. I pass out two or three cards to each child, and we pray for the people listed on the cards. We also memorize scripture this way, writing a couple verses on a card and making up silly tunes to sing them together. It's a super-easy way to get the Word in our hearts. Bible is my favorite subject to do with my kids, because it feeds my spirit too! (Note: on the days when I am too tired or cranky to teach Bible, or when I need to spend some extra time on my AA daughter's hair, I turn on a "Bible" movie for the kids to watch, like The Miracle Maker.)

I hardly spend any time planning or grading or anything like that. I just find things that are easy and fun for us to do. And if we don't get everything done that I thought we should, I am learning to stop stressing about it. Instead, I ask God what He wants us to get done that day. He then reminds me that His goal is for us to love each other (John 13:34-35; 15:12, 17). Then I remember that I shouldn't worry so much about WHAT we do, and instead focus on just loving my kids.

Final thoughts (to bring this back to how I'm not Supermom): I do not do my makeup every day, and I have learned some really quick, easy things to do with my hair. I do usually get dressed since we try to go for a walk most days (it helps all our perspectives to get out of the house for a little while). However, when I'm pregnant or nursing, I don't always get dressed. My house is ALWAYS messy, except when we clean up before having guests over, and even then it's far less perfect than I'd like. My living room furniture is torn up and we can't afford to replace it (though we're praying for some good free or really cheap furniture). The dishes usually stay piled up in the sink until after lunch. Some days I cannot cook, so instead we have "snack dinner" where everyone picks something to eat like cereal or yogurt. I also make big meals so we have leftovers at least 1-2 days a week. I do not "do it all." We are not involved in many extracurricular activities. Our big outings for the week are church, the park, and the library. I teach my kids piano lessons, but we cannot afford sports or other outside activities. We have a live-in roommate who helps with dishes and laundry during the week. We cannot afford to pay much, so we basically exchange room and board for some help. When the babies are awake, we can't really get anything done, so all our school work is done during their nap times. My husband has given me Monday nights and Sunday mornings "off." This really helps to keep me sane. I take that time to do personal things I want to do, like read, sleep, etc. I try to get up early to spend time with the Lord, but I also love to stay up late enjoying the peace and quiet after the kids are in bed, so my sleep/wake schedule is pretty inconsistent.

I hope that these posts help someone see that it doesn't take a Supermom to homeschool. It just takes an ordinary mom (or dad) who is willing to say yes to God's invitation to daily sow into her children's hearts, even when it's a struggle. A Supermom wouldn't do, actually. Not at all. It takes a weak one.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong" (1 Corinthians 12:10b).

Thursday, November 18, 2010

It Doesn't Take a Supermom to Homeschool ... (part 1 of 2)

... because I'm not! (Supermom, that is.)

Yes, I have six children. And yes, I do homeschool them. (Only two of them "officially" so far.) And it is the most fun, hard, crazy, fulfilling, chaotic, exasperating and irreplaceable thing I have ever done.

Homeschooling, like every other aspect of my life, is something I have struggled with in prayer before God. Yes, I have wanted to do it since I myself was a homeschooled student (and loved it). But I still wrestle with God about giving up so much time and energy to educate my children, especially when I am told that the elementary school right across the street from my house is really good. I have sometimes fantasized about those few steps that would whisk my children off into the wonderland of education-by-others, leaving me with an easier day at home.

Easier in some ways, that is.

Sometimes, when homeschooling starts to feel like too much (like every day this week), I go back to the Lord, asking whether I should continue. His words have given me courage:

"It will be harder if you send them to school."

Harder? How?

Well, it depends on my perspective. If my goal is to have more discretionary time to pursue more of my personal goals, then sending them to school would certainly seem to make that easier. But what about the cost? How much more time would I need to spend re-parenting them when they got home? What kind of attitudes would they pick up? Would their hearts remain soft toward God? And would it be worth giving up our daily times of praying, worshiping, and memorizing scripture together?

I quickly realized that He was right. Then I remembered that His primary goal is not their intellectual education. He's after their hearts.

And so I remembered another sentence God spoke to me a couple of years ago:

"Stop telling Me why you can't and ask Me how."

Yes, there are days when I don't know if I can do it. Yes, there are days I want to quit. But on those days, the words above sustain me. I am learning to stop, breathe, and ask Him, "How do You want me to do this today? What are Your goals? This isn't working. I must be off track. Do You have a better way for us to arrange our schedule? Do we need to cut out or add some activities? I need HELP during this time of the day (or with this particular child). Should I stop trying to do ____, or is there another way to approach it?"

Every day I beg God for wisdom and strength.

And guess what? There are many days when I simply love having my children home with me. Most of the time, I look forward to our school times together. Why? Because our home school is not a carbon copy of what they would get across the street. It is perfectly designed for our unique family. It fits us, and it's fun.

It all depends on my perspective.

If I compare my school with the one across the street, I fall short. If I compare my school with private schools, I fall short. Even if I compare my school with other home schools, I fall short. But God has not called me to look at all of them. He has called me to to keep my eyes on Him. So I asked Him, "What do You want me to teach my children? What are the standards that You want us to achieve?"

Somehow, I expected Him to talk to me about their knowledge of English grammar, science, math, reading, and history. But you know what He told me? "Teach them to love Me with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as they love themselves" (my paraphrase of Mark 12:30 and Luke 10:27).

Can they do that across the street? Will they even try?

So I continue to homeschool. And I am growing to be OK with being different, maybe even behind in some areas. Because in other areas I know that my kids are learning far more than they could "over there."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Wolf of Tebron Book Review (Favorite Thing #7)

Recently, my husband decided that I needed to take a break from my usual reading list, which includes mostly non-fiction research topics, to read a new book that he brought home for me. Now, I love fiction, but I rarely find an author that I really enjoy reading. So, having greatly enjoyed this one, I am glad to help spread the word about The Wolf of Tebron. The following is excerpted from an email conversation I had with the author, C. S. Lakin:

Me: I just finished reading The Wolf of Tebron with delight. I feel that I have found a friend in you as one who loves good writing and explores profound themes. I found the opening pages a bit heavy on poetic imagery, but as I continued and grew more accustomed to your writing style, the story drew me in. The frequent quotes from the Bible and great authors gave me much meat to chew on as I enjoyed the twists and turns of the story. Thank you for writing a book that I would recommend to my friends, and one that I would enjoy reading again. I look forward to reading the next book in the series.

Lakin: Thanks so much! One of the reasons I write fantasy in addition to contemporary fiction is to be able to play with language and imagery. The Bible is full of amazing imagery--mountains clapping their hands and rivers singing for joy. People don't often stop to think how God loves poetic imagery too--the world reflects it. I think you'll love the next book--Map across Time. It has less imagery, more Scripture and biblical allegory, and it's a heartbreaking and inspiring tale. It should come out after the New Year.

Me: I find myself continuing to think about certain imagery and concepts that you explored. The idea that humans live in a sort of dream state, not knowing who we really are or where our home is, rings true. Truly we see but dimly now, but then we will see face to face. I also keep pondering Ruyah being at the same time Joran's friend, father, and a type of God/Jesus. It is a rich and complex characterization. Being an adoptive parent, I appreciate the depiction of his adoptive family creating a warm and caring home to which Joran longs to return.

I hope you enjoy The Wolf of Tebron as much as I did!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Favorite Thing #11: Ethnic Hair and Body Care

A friend who is adopting asked for some info about the products I like to use with Crown. I thought it would be fun to share it here too!

For her body, my favorite moisturizer is coconut oil. I buy it at Sunrise Natural Foods for about $11 a tub. (I just get their least expensive brand.) It lasts 6 months or so. I rub it all over her body and face (especially around her nose and mouth, which tends to be her driest area) every morning and after baths. I only give her a bath once or twice a week (unless extra baths are needed due to accidents), and I wash her hair once every week to two weeks. I feel that helps her skin and hair not get too dried out.

For her hair, I use Hawaiian Silky Miracle Worker every day (I get it at Sally's Beauty Supply for about $5 a bottle). In the morning when I oil her body, I also spray HS generously on her hair and massage (if her hair is in twists or ponytails) or brush (if her hair is loose) it in. I have found that a boar bristle brush works best for her fine but very curly hair. It seems to get most of the little tangles out if I work it in sections (which I do about once a week or so - the rest of the time it's usually up in twists or ponytails). If there are larger tangles, I will use a wide-tooth comb, but that does bother her more.

To wash her hair, I use Just for Me brand shampoo and conditioner. It took me some time to find these in Roseville, but recently the Walmart in West Roseville started carrying them. I use regular baby bath soap for her body.

I have also tried some other products that have been recommended to me. I used a Just for Me straightening mist, but I couldn't tell that it did much. Silken Child just made her hair really coarse, though I've heard it's popular. Coconut oil on her hair did the same thing. Olive oil can be used on hair, but I found it a bit too light. I like Carol's Daughter hair milk (which I could only find at Arden Mall Sephora - the one in Roseville doesn't carry it), but it's pretty expensive ($18 per bottle). There are a lot of other products out there that can be tried, but so far I'm happy with the price and relative simplicity of the ones I am currently using.

I do have one other product that I use for twists, Organic Root Stimulator Lock and Twist. I can post more about that later, but I don't want to include too much info in this post.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tayan is One!



We had a lot of fun with the family and friends who were able to make it to his party. Isn't Tay-Tay a cutie?

Monday, August 02, 2010

Adventures in Baltimore


Once upon a time there was a young woman from a suburban town who went on a trip with her husband to Baltimore, Maryland. Now this was quite a big deal, considering that they had six small children at home. Many loving friends and family had agreed to help - so many that the mother felt overwhelmed by their kindness. She spent the weeks before the trip carefully planning every detail. She coordinated which children would go to which homes, made sure that everyone had the phone numbers and information they needed regarding each child, made packing lists, and took the children to visit the homes where they would be staying so they would feel familiar with their temporary surroundings.


The night before the trip, the children all packed and ready, she began to pack her own things. She took all the pretty things that she rarely had the opportunity to wear at home except for church or on dates with her husband: cute skirts and tops, and even a few new things she had purchased for the trip.


Unsure which shoes would be appropriate, she packed a pair of her favorite flip-flops and a pair of high heeled shoes, deciding to wear her slip-on tennis shoes during the flight to Baltimore.






When she and her husband arrived in Baltimore in the middle of the night, she was a little nervous. The hotel was in a seasoned, old building in the historic city surrounded by lots of one-way streets and streetlights. Grateful that there were not many people or cars out at that time of night, she still wasn't sure what to expect from this big town. They checked into their room without incident, though there were some close calls with the walls in the narrow alleys of the parking garage where her husband parked the rental car.





The first day or two, the woman didn't venture out much. Her husband was away at a business conference during the day, so she slept and read in her room mostly. In the evenings they walked up and down Charles St, Cathedral St, and Light St, and around the Inner Harbor, taking in their surroundings.











Her feet started to hurt from walking on the hard sidewalks in her flip-flops. She began wearing her tennis shoes all the time, but they didn't go very well with the pretty clothes she'd brought for the trip. So, one day, she decided to do some shopping in the Inner Harbor while her husband attended a seminar. She found several pairs of shoes that she really liked. In fact, she had a hard time deciding which ones she wanted. The shoes were a little more expensive than she was used to spending, and she liked three pair really well. She sat, undecided, in the shoe store until her husband rejoined her.

The salesladies, who seemed to think she was a little silly for sitting there so long, kept coming by to check on her. When her husband arrived, they decided it would be best to get two pair, a pretty pair of wedge sandals to go with her skirts and tops, and a comfy, flat pair for the days back home with her children.



Outside the store, she put on her new sandals and placed her old tennies in the box from the store. She felt so pretty, walking down the street with her husband in her new shoes. They were comfortable too, even more comfortable than her tennis shoes. She smiled and held his hand. For the first time she was starting to feel right in this big, strange town.


After that, she didn't felt as intimidated by the tall buildings, the people on the streets, and the cars honking as they passed. The walk from the hotel to the harbor to meet her husband for dinner became familiar. First she passed the homey red brick "mother church of Baltimore," Old St. Paul's church.

Then she walked by the wrought iron fences and sleek, white columns of the first cathedral in the United States, the beautiful Baltimore Basilica. She walked past old buildings that had been long neglected and were mostly abandoned.

She wondered what it would be like to live in one of the newer glass and concrete skyscraper apartment buildings, to park in the garage underneath and ride an elevator home each night.

Finally she arrived at the harbor, marveling each time at the first sight that greeted her there: the U.S.S. Constitution, a sailing ship almost 200 years old that had helped to free slaves during the Civil War.



Sometimes with her husband and sometimes alone, she grew to enjoy the sights and sounds of the Inner Harbor. There was a little store where fudge was made by hand each day, the cooks singing and calling out to the tourists walking by. She bought post cards at a gift shop that she visited a few times. She ate hamburgers with her husband at Johnny Rockets, an old fashioned diner. And she explored a big bookstore that occupied what had once been a huge, brick power house for the city.

She walked over a bridge suspended by cables that bounced a little when you were in the middle of it, and climbed up into a light house that had once housed the keeper and his family in the middle of the bay. (A baby was even born in this light house!)

One evening, when they were very hungry and couldn't find an inexpensive meal in the cultured Mt. Vernon district where their hotel was, she and her husband walked an hour down to the harbor to eat huge burritos at Chipotle for only $6 apiece.

She enjoyed walking around the quieter Mt. Vernon neighborhood as well. Her favorite sight was the tall, white monument of President George Washington set in the middle of a square with a grassy park on each of its four sides. It was a popular area for people to walk their dogs or to sit with a friend. One day, as they passed through the square, and older woman approached them saying she was hungry. Since they didn't have any cash with them, they walked on to a sandwich shop where they bought a big sub sandwich and a cookie. When they returned to the square, the lady was sitting on a bench by the bus stop. She smiled when they gave her the food.

When her husband's business conference was over, they began to do more sight seeing. After breakfast one morning, they walked to the Basilica for a tour. Arriving five minutes after the tour was scheduled to start, they were afraid they'd missed it. However, a few minutes later their tour guide arrived. He apologized, saying that his bus had been late. As they were the only people who had come for the tour that morning, he spent two hours answering all their questions and exploring the Basilica with them. He even made the next tour group wait a few minutes while he made sure to answer all their questions fully.




Later that day, they went to the Walters Art Museum. They were amazed at the large collection of art and artifacts from antiquity: Greek and Roman sculptures, Egyptian mummies, and even blocks covered with heiroglyphics from old Egyptian temples. There was so much to see that they wished they could have spent a lot more time there.
















They spent an entire day in Washington, D.C. They met up with a cousin who lived there, visiting visited with her, her four children, and her parents. They got to ride an elevator up to the family's apartment and look over the town from their balcony. They walked to the newer, much larger Washington Monument, took pictures in front of the White House where the President lives, and spent many hours exploring the Smithsonian American History Museum. They saw real plaster casts of President Lincoln's face and hands, took in the sights and sounds of the Apollo Theater, admired Juila Child's kitchen, and even touched a section of the Berlin Wall.

By the end of the day, even with her new shoes, the woman was too tired to walk all the way to the immense statue of President Lincoln, so she waved to him from far away.

Back at the apartment, they spent more time with her cousin's children and had a good, long chat with her cousin. Since they all lived so far away from each other, everyone wanted to spend as much time together as they could. They enjoyed catching up in the peaceful apartment, thirteen stories above the city streets.

Later, as they drove out of the city, they passed through an area what looked like a police stakeout. There were so many noisy cars and pedestrians, even though it was nearly the middle of the night, that they were glad to be returning to the relative peace and familiarity of their hotel in Baltimore.

The last day there, as they had every morning of their stay, they ate breakfast in the hotel cafeteria. After packing up and checking out, they drove to Fort McHenry, a star-shaped fort that had been the site of a major victory during the War of 1812 and the inspiration for the United States National Anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner." They were delighted to listen to the conversations of the people in the fort who were dressed in uniforms and talking to each other like they were soldiers of that time.



Finally, it was time to go home. Her flight was delayed by bad weather and circumstance so many times that seemed like it would never end. She didn't know whether she would see her luggage again, as it had not made it to the airport that night. But she was so glad to see the familiar face of her sister picking her up at the airport that she didn't really mind. Exhausted but content, she fell into her warm, familiar bed in the wee hours of the morning. She couldn't wait to pick up her children the next day, to tell them all about her adventures, and to hear them tell her about theirs.

Note: This is a story I wrote for my children about my trip to Baltimore last June. I thought it would be fun to post it here as well.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Laughter's Birthday

 


Happy 6th Birthday to my Purple Butterfly Princess!
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Few of My Favorite Things #5: Home Schooling

Well, while I fully intended to honor the requests I had to answer #4 first, I have not yet been able to do so. In the meantime, I received a message asking me about home schooling and how I do it. So I thought that I'd get started on my list of Favorite Things by posting my answer here. I do hope to get started on answering the family size question soon, though!

I read and researched about home schooling for years before I had school-aged children so that by the time I really got going, I had a pretty good idea how I wanted to do it. Of course, I didn't picture having two babies and a toddler at the same time, but God provides the way.

I personally don't push preschool very hard. My thinking is that they'll learn eventually, but my goal is for it to be fun. So I surround my children with learning opportunities: books, games, puzzles, play-doh, art supplies, educational DVD's (one of my favorites is Meet the Sight Words - my two-year-old already recognizes a lot of the words just from watching it), and lots of time to play and explore their world. My kids like workbooks too, so I get inexpensive ones from Walmart or Lakeshore Learning store just for fun. I really don't set goals at the preschool age. Just keep it light and fun.

I have noticed that my son, who is four and a half, is taking a lot longer to get interested in reading than my girls did. My oldest, who is seven, was bugging me to teach her to read starting at age 3. I started using The Reading Lesson with her when she was Kindergarten age, and she took off. She absorbed reading pretty much effortlessly. I am getting an opportunity to work a little harder with my 2nd. I started using The Reading Lesson with her this year. (She will be six this Saturday and, age-wise, is finishing Kindergarten). She is much more easily discouraged than my oldest, so I haven't pushed it very hard. We've gotten through a few (I think 6 or 7) of the 20 lessons in the course. But I don't make her do more than she can do without getting too frustrated, so we're going really slow. We read 1-2 pages a day, 2-3 days a week. I have read that reading "clicks" with some kids earlier (like age 3 or 4) and others not until later (even 8 or 9). But as adults, they all do equally well. The main thing is not to make them hate school and learning. My 4-year-old son has shown nearly no interest in reading, though he does recognize the alphabet and know his numbers. So I just read to him and let him participate in school as much as he is interested. He loves to be read to, so I know that it will come eventually.

I am sharing all this in hopes that you will see your children in some of what I am saying and be able to apply it to your own kids.

Probably the most helpful piece of advice that I received is that there is no one right way to teach your children. There is no perfect curriculum, schedule, or teacher. (Ha! Good thing, because I'm not it!) So just try what interests you and your children, and adjust as you go along. It's OK to start out with one curriculum and change to something else if it isn't working for you.

By the way, The Reading Lesson is something I found online. I like it because it's inexpensive to use over and over (paid for it once, downloaded it, and can print out as many times as needed). I also like that it's simple and doesn't overload the kids with a lot of rules and complication. Just teaches them to read basic words as a foundation to build upon. I didn't get any of the extras; just the basic e-book. It worked well for my oldest and seems to be working fine for my 2nd as well.

I barely scratched the surface of your questions, but my time is up for now. I will try to get back and add more soon. Please let me know if what I've shared so far is helpful.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Crown Princess' 1st Birthday

Here are some pictures from our Crown Princess' big day(s). Enjoy!