Sound of Music

The sheer joy of this makes me long for Jesus' return. We are meant to live in this kind of joy, awe, and wonder all the time. Something inside us knows it, even while we tell ourselves it's too good to last.

My kids can't quite figure out why grownups cry when they're happy. I'm not sure I understand it myself.

***Adoption News Flash Update***

Thank you for praying! We just found out that another family was chosen for this little girl. Praise God for placing her in a family so quickly!

What an emotional roller coaster this can be. I'm glad that our Shepherd knows our path even when we do not!

***Adoption News Flash***

Our profile is being presented today to an agency which apparently has custody of a three-day-old baby girl. The birth mother has already terminated her parental rights. If we are the family God has chosen for her, we are ready to go pick her up. If He has another family in mind for her, we want everything to go smoothly for them. Please pray with us that God's will be done in her life! I will post another update when I know more.

Bring Liza Home

Here is a story I read today on Adoption Connect, a blog I follow. Please click the link below if you would like to donate $10 or more to help bring Liza home. As a bonus, you will also be entered into a raffle!

Rick and I were married almost 4 years ago. We were both single parents before we married who knew we wanted to have more children. When we were dating we started talking about adopting and being foster parents because we knew we were unable to have more children biologically. Rick himself is adopted and I was in foster care as a child so this is something that was near to both of our hearts. We also both have strong hearts for the orphan and those who are downtrodden. We have tried a few times to adopt through different avenues and the door has always been shut to us. We were beginning to think that it was never going to happen. Then a few months ago I had a dream that I was crossing a bridge and I was carrying two children. Rick came beside me, took one of the children out of my arms, and walked on ahead of me. When he was in front of me the child looked at me and smiled like a child would smile at their mother. I noticed that it was a little girl with blonde hair and she had Down syndrome. When I woke up I just knew that I had seen my daughter. Around that time I began to pay more attention to the children on the Reece's Rainbow site again and that's where I found Liza and started to pray for her and all of the rest of the children. The Sunday before we committed to her I felt that Holy Spirit telling me to find out the meaning of her name. After church I looked it up and was floored that it meant "God's Oath". (Before we were married God promised me during a church service that we would have more children.) I immediately stepped up my prayers and asked others to pray as well. That next Friday my husband told me he wanted to commit to her. and now here we are. Believing that god will provide for us to bring her home.


Please visit Journey to a Promise and consider giving a donation to help Liza come home.

http://journeytoapromise.blogspot.com/2009/03/lizas-first-fundraiser.html

The Heart of a Mother

Here is a beautiful article about life by Lorraine V. Murray. This is so encouraging to me with our surprise baby #5, because it reflects my heart.

Most life stories of great men open with their births. But in the case of the greatest man ever born, a man who was also God, the story starts with the actual moment of his conception.

And what a poignant moment it was, when an angel told a young girl that she would bear a son and call him “Jesus.” We can imagine her tangle of emotions at hearing this news.

She had to know that she was in danger of being harshly criticized. In fact, in her day, an unmarried woman who became pregnant faced death by stoning.

So when Mary said, “Let it be done to me according to thy word,” she was in effect saying, “I am willing to face death.”

Mary had plenty of reasons to tell the angel “Go away. Ask someone else.” She could have said, “I’m too young.” Or “I’m not married.” She certainly could have said, “I’m afraid!”

She obviously could have used many of the reasons that women rely on today when they decide to say “no” to a pregnancy: “I’m too poor” or “I’m too young” or “I’m unmarried” or “I have other plans.”

Talk about the ultimate unplanned pregnancy: This was what Mary faced!

It is very likely that many readers of this article are the results of unplanned pregnancies. Some may have been conceived after their parents had decided their family was big enough. Maybe others were conceived because Mom thought she was past childbearing days, and then: Surprise!

But even if a pregnancy is unplanned and comes as a shock to the parents, here is the important part: There is no unplanned life.

You see, God doesn’t create any child accidentally because God doesn’t make mistakes. So even if we stunned our parents, we certainly didn’t surprise God.

And the feast of the Annunciation reminds us of the old saying that “God writes straight with crooked lines.”

Here are some crooked lines in the life of Christ: His mother was very young, and she wasn’t married. But God had everything straightened out to protect Mary, so that Christ would be born nine months later.

God sent an angel to let Joseph know in a dream that Mary’s account of her pregnancy was true. And because Joseph accepted God’s plan and married Mary, she avoided social ostracism and stoning.

There are crooked lines in every life. In my own, my mother had a miscarriage before bearing my older sister, and my sister’s birth was long and dangerous. So arduous, in fact, that the doctors sternly warned my mother against having more children.

And then, on a day near Thanksgiving in Chicago, where my parents were visiting family, my story began: I was conceived in my mother’s womb. And I have to believe that my mother, Grace, had very mixed emotions when the doctors confirmed that she was pregnant.

After all, as she looked into the future, she saw another arduous delivery and maybe even death. But she went ahead and had the baby, the one she named Lorraine with Grace as a middle name.

Obviously, St. Luke could have begun the story of Christ’s life with his birth in the stable, rather than nine months earlier at his conception. But it was not by accident that he opened the narrative where he did.

He was following God’s plan when he wrote the narrative of Christ’s life, and was guided by the Holy Spirit to tell the truth with a capital T.

And that Truth is this: Christ’s life started just like every life begins. The Word was made flesh not in a hospital room, not in an inn, not in a stable.

Instead, God became man in a womb at the very moment Mary said “yes.”

And that womb had to be nurturing and protective, just as the wombs that brought each of us into the world.

Perhaps a reason that Christ’s story begins at conception is to bring a message to a world in which the womb is no longer a safe haven.

Perhaps it is to remind us that the most beautiful words in the world are not those spoken at the birth of a baby when the doctor pronounces the child alive and healthy.

Instead, the most exquisite words are the little veiled conversation that goes on in the heart of the mother many months earlier, when she first learns that she is pregnant.

The loveliest words of all come despite inconvenience, despite having other plans, despite being too young or too old, despite being too poor, despite being scared, despite being unmarried, despite being afraid of death.

The most beautiful words of all come at the moment when the mother whispers to God: “Let it be.” And that’s where the story begins.

Ultrasound pictures!

Well, we got the big news! We're having a boy!! For the fuller story, please click here to read Paul's post and see some ultrasound pictures.

Tiller Going to Trial Today

Tiller is going to trial today for illegally aborting many, many babies. Oh, how I remember praying outside his abortion clinic and outside his home as a teenager that God would put an end to his atrocities. Lord, answer our prayers! And in Your kindness, lead him to repentance!

Keep praying!

19 Weeks

Here's me at 19 weeks, along with my girls who love their new baby so much already.

Broken

I have always been a bit clumsy, but it seems like lately there has been a rash of breakages and losses in our house. From the broken serving bowls a couple of weeks ago, lost cell phone and charger (finally found after three weeks) and other miscellaneous things, to today when I broiled the bread rising in the oven, along with the mixing bowl ($50 to replace) and plastic wrap covering it.

This brings up so many emotions ... fear of rejection, frustration, hopelessness, anger ... I don't even know how to respond. What are You showing me in this, Lord? I feel helpless on the outside, and with every break and loss I feel more lost and broken on the inside. So I am coming to You to be mended, healed, and found. Please help me.

Apart for Now

I miss my husband tonight. He is away on a business trip this week, and while I do much better these days than I used to when he is gone, I still miss him a lot.

So I just want to say that I miss you, Salt Racer. I am glad that we got to talk several times today. You are my best friend. And the best cook! Today we enjoyed eating all the food you had prepared for us yesterday. I don't really want to go to bed because there is no one there waiting for me. But I will, because you just might call me in the morning and I want to be awake for that! I love you.

Home Study Complete!

I am very excited to announce that our home study is finally complete! We started our adoption process last summer, started our home study around September I think, and finally (officially as of Feb. 19), we are legally cleared to adopt. Hallelujah!

Now, I don't think home studies have to take that long. But we were kind of moving slow due to our own choices and then our pregnancy slowed us down a bit more.

Nevertheless, we are now able to receive a child whenever God should bring one our way! The next stage can now begin ... we will continue to put money into our adoption fund, and we can also begin to apply for grants and such. And as God brings situations our way, we will continue to be open to them. We are in no hurry. Our home study lasts for three years, and we are willing to wait on God's timing.

One thing that I am continually in awe of is this. Over the past year, Paul's income has increased 36%. Nothing in the natural can account for this. The economy is doing poorly, Paul has only worked for this company less than two years, and he works for a ministry that relies on donations. It can only be God's provision. So we continually ask ourselves, for what purpose has He given us this provision? We continue to seek Him for wisdom in this area.

Please continue to pray with us that God will open doors that no one can shut and close doors that no one can open. We are putting all our trust in Him.

Y.O.P.P.

I saw the video below on this webpage.

Another Review of The Shack

Here is another review of The Shack that I think is very good.

The Shack-My Review

The Shack

Since The Shack seems to be such an item of conversation recently, I thought I'd better read it. My thoughts, while not fully formed, are quite in agreement with much of what this reviewer says in his five creatively different reviews.

Adoption News

Thank you so much for continuing to pray with us about this situation that we have been presented with this week. What an exciting, emotional week it has been for us!

So it looks like this situation is not for us. The agency is simply not willing to budge on the fees, and we don't have the time (and are not prepared) to be able to raise that amount of money that quickly. They said that they will look for another family for him. So we are continuing to pray that God will place him in just the right family!

Our home study should hopefully be completed next week (we just found out yesterday that there are still a couple of documents missing from our file). Then we will be able to start applying for financial aid and fund raising so that we will be ready when God brings the situation our way that IS for us! We are not in a hurry to make anything happen. We are simply trusting Him in the timing and provision of it all. We're trusting in the leading of our Good Shepherd.

Adoption Update!

Thanks so much for responding quickly to our request for prayer yesterday. We got THE CALL today from the agency in Las Vegas telling us that if we want the baby, he's ours! We have been praying and processing all day ... this is what we have dreamed of for so long. Can it actually be happening? I mean, we have so tried not to push this. We have moved really slowly on our home study, which is still a week away from completion. We have not yet submitted applications to adoption agencies. We have four young children and are pregnant. Through all of this we have questioned and prayed and asked again and again if we are on the right track and every time God has responded with an unequivocal YES! From Paul's raise at the beginning of our home study (which has covered all our adoption expenses so far) to the continued peace we have had (in the midst of our minds telling us we must be crazy) to the fact that we have done NOTHING to get this baby ... He is literally being offered to us without our having done any of the mounds of paperwork and applications and sending out of our profile to several agencies, being presented to different birth moms, waiting to be chosen ... none of that. We were simply called and asked if we were interested, and we say yes! What is this? It must be God, because it certainly isn't our doing, and it isn't what we were prepared to expect.

When I found out that I was pregnant, the first thing I did was to pray, "Lord, what is this about? Are we ahead of you on adoption?" (In my mind, being pregnant could very possibly end our chances of adopting.) "Did we really hear you when we felt you said now is the time? All we want to do is be obedient to you. We don't NEED to adopt. We have plenty of children by birth. But we have such a burden to provide a home to one or more of Your precious orphans. Are we disqualified? Is this not what You have for us?" And then I opened my Bible to continue my daily reading where I had left off the day before. The chapter before me was John 21, and the words came alive as living manna to my heart. The disciples had been fishing all night with no success, and then Jesus came and told them to throw their nets on the other side of the boat. They wondered, is it really Him? (I was asking the same question, is this really You, Lord, telling us to adopt right now?) They did what He said and then their nets were so full that they couldn't pull them into the boat, but their nets didn't break. I asked God how this applied to me, and He said, "I have an abundance for you, so much that you cannot pull it in without Me. But your nets will not break!" This was challenging to me, but encouraging, so I read on. Later in the chapter, Jesus' question to Peter again pierced my heart. "Do you love Me?" Yes, Jesus, you know that I love you. So very, very much. "Then feed my lambs." Is that all You really need to be able to use me, Lord? Just my love for You? Well, You have it. If You can use it to feed Your lambs, then bring on the lambs. I may not have much wisdom or energy or natural resources, but I do have love for You. You are welcome to use me to feed Your lambs, and I will trust You to provide for everything we need.

That morning conversation with the Lord has stuck with me the past couple of months as we have continued to say "yes" to adoption. We have known that there is not much we can do to convince anyone to "let" us adopt given our somewhat unusual situation (not being an infertile couple and pregnant). But we also knew that if this is what God had for us, then nothing would stand in the way of Him bringing the child He intended for us into our home. We simply did our part to be ready.

So at this point we need your continued prayers. We will be talking to the agency tomorrow to let them know that we are willing to adopt this precious little boy and to work out the details. Please pray that we have favor with them, especially regarding the finances. We are hoping they will be able to come down a bit on the adoption fees, which we have been told will come to about $23,000. We know that the money is no problem for God, but we want to do our part in being good stewards. Also, we will be doing some quick fund raising and applying for financial aid because part of the fees will be due immediately and the rest (I believe) when he is born. So we don't have much time. But ultimately, that's God's problem, not ours, since this was all His idea in the first place. We are praying and believing to be able to do this without going into debt.

Please pray with us that if this is our son, nothing will stop him from coming into our home!

Possible Match Today?

Please be praying for us today! We just got a call this morning from Christian Adoption Consultants about a baby boy who is due to be born around Feb. 13 in Las Vegas. The agency wants to make a match today, and we are being presented to them as a possibility! Please pray 1) that God would direct the agency as they choose a family for this little boy (apparently the agency is choosing in this case, not the birth parents), and 2) that if we are chosen God will provide the money needed quickly! I am working on applying for grants today.

Kole is Walking!

I think this video is too cute not to share.

Baby Swagerty!

 

I am very thankful that the Lord opened a last-minute appointment for me to have an ultrasound today. I found out at 2:15pm that my doctor had scheduled an appointment for me right by my house at 3:05pm. And my sister was already over, so I was able to just go!

The baby looked great! Heartbeat and all ... everything as it should be for a seven-week pregnancy.

Thank You, Lord!!!!!

Feeling Better Today

Thank you to everyone who is praying for me. I am doing better today. Nothing has become very clear yet. The good news is that the bleeding has slowed. Yesterday it was very light and today I have seen no blood. Still a little cramping but nothing severe. I saw my doctor yesterday who ordered blood tests and an ultrasound to find out how the baby is doing, so we should be getting results sometime this week. In the meantime I'm continuing to take it easy. My sister, Christal, is helping me out this week as well as our friend, Anne, and my mother in law, Helen. These amazing people simply volunteered to help out; we didn't ask anyone! God completely amazes me how He takes care of us all the time.