True Beauty

Last spring, while Paul and I were in Las Vegas (he was attending a business conference), I had the wonderful opportunity to spend uninterrupted time alone with the Lord, seeking Him and letting Him speak to my heart. I found, to my dismay, that I was overwhelmed by the false images of beauty that surrounded me there. I couldn't just dismiss them as I'd hoped. Every billboard and sign seemed to mock me with how far short my body fell of the ideal presented. I knew that Paul said he found me beautiful, but I had such a hard time believing him. I knew that God must see things differently than what was presented there, but I couldn't imagine how. So, that first day, I spent the morning asking God to reveal true beauty to me. His answer so far exceeded my expectations that I have not struggled with this issue in a serious way since. (I had been struggling with this for years, ever since our rather disappointing honeymoon experience which I have shared in person before and may blog about sometime.)

Today I read a blog post that made me realize many women struggle with this issue. So I think it's time for me to share what God shared with me. Here is an excerpt from my journal. I hope it helps someone else as it's helped me.

Lord, teach me what is beautiful to You. You call me beautiful and flawless (Song of Songs 4:7). So does my husband. But I have such a hard time believing it. This week in Las Vegas, surrounded by seductive beauty advertised on billboards, signs, and flyers, I am confronted with the kind of beauty I inwardly desire. I compare myself to it. I feel that if I could attain it I could capture my husband's heart more fully. For if I looked more like those women, wouldn't he be so satisfied with me that he'd lose the temptation ever to look at another? Can't I have that kind of beauty?

This is how the Lord answered me in the quiet place of my listening heart:

"No, my beloved. I don't want your heart to lust after that kind of beauty. It is passing at best. I want you to pursue the kind of beauty that captures My heart. You already have this kind of beauty, and you are growing more beautiful daily. Let me remove the false idol from your heart.

"I am altogether lovely (Song of Songs 5:16). Do you think that I look like a fertility goddess? No, I look like My Son. Am I less because I look like a humble servant? A broken, bleeding man on a cross? That is the kind of beauty I want for you.

"Beauty is your face laughing at the day to come as you so fully rely of Me that its challenges don't daunt you (Proverbs 31:25). Beauty is your eyes looking with love on the ones I have given into your care. Beauty is your hair tied back so it isn't in your way while you work. Beauty is your body getting up in the morning to seek me and prepare breakfast for your family. Beauty is your belly stretched and marked by carrying My children. Beauty is your heart that keeps giving, your back that keeps bending, your hands that keep serving even when you are weary.

"Your husband does not desire to embrace another woman. That is why he turns away his eyes when their images are flaunted before him. He knows that they are a deception. I have already removed that false idol from his heart. Let me remove it from yours as well.

"Your husband does desire to embrace you, his wife. You are the one who serves him and his children and then, at the end of the day, turns to him with a heart full of love. Your body is beautiful to him. He does not see scars and callouses. He sees love.

"How could he not love you? He loves Me. He loves what I love. You are my good and perfect gift to him (James 1:17), matched to him in every way. You are the one he needs and wants. He desires no other to share his bed, his heart, and his life.

"Just as My Son did not wear his full glory when He walked the earth, neither do you. Just as He will soon be revealed in His full beauty, so will you. The world does not value His beauty. He was despised and rejected by men (Isaiah 53:3). But those who have eyes to see know that His beauty surpasses all others.

"I have eyes to see your beauty, My beloved. And you have captured your husband's heart with just one glance (Song of Songs 4:9). He is captivated by you. You are a work of art, My masterpiece. I see it, and so does he. Receive his love. Receive My love."

I pray that these words minister to your heart as they minister to mine.

Proverb of the Day: Proverbs 18:2

A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart. (Pro 18:2 NKJV)

Ouch. That hits close to home. Too often, I answer before I listen. And even if I do hear and retain what the other person says, I don’t acknowledge their input, for I am more focused on “expressing [my] own heart.” I am sure that leaves them feeling unheard, for my husband has expressed that in many ways. In fact, he’s the reason I even know that I do it. Lord, please make me aware when I am conversing with others. Help me to “delight in understanding” more than in finding that perfect way to communicate what I am thinking.

Wow. That word “expressing” means “to denude (especially in a disgraceful sense); by implication to exile (captives being usually stripped); figuratively to reveal: - + advertise, appear, bewray, bring, (carry, lead, go) captive (into captivity), depart, disclose, discover, exile, be gone, open, X plainly, publish, remove, reveal, X shamelessly, shew, X surely, tell, uncover” (Strong’s).

What are You saying to me, Lord?

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Pro 18:21 NKJV)

Oh.

He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. (Pro 18:13 NKJV)

That’s me.

The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. (Pro 18:15 NKJV)

Lord, help me to speak much less and to listen much more. Let my heart stop trying so hard to express itself (which merely exposes my foolishness) and instead love to acquire knowledge by hearing what my husband, my children, and others are saying. In fact, please help me to stop listening to my own thoughts as much and instead be attentive to Your voice.

Today, in Your strength, I will close my mouth and open my ears. “Zip your lips, little Michelle, and put on your listening ears.” How many times in my life have I heard similar words? Have I ever truly heeded them? Oh, that today might be the day that I begin to hear. Jesus, may it be so.