By the way ... thank you

While I'm on the subject of Thanksgiving, I want to say thank you to those of you who have been praying for our adoption expenses to be met and those who have given to help us. I am happy to report that we have received enough money to pay the lawyer! We know that the Lord will provide the rest at the perfect time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here are some pictures from Thanksgiving. We had fun fellowship with Paul's parents and grandparents, Vivie and Chimere Bussey, Chimere's dad Finis, and Marya Morgan. TONS of yummy food. Some of us played two games of Mexican Train while others enjoyed the movie Ratatouille. And we all fit at the new table for dinner!

Second Best?

Daughter,

You are precious and beloved. I have longed and prayed for you many years before you were born. In no way could you ever be considered second best in my heart. Beautiful flower transplanted into my garden, if anything, I may tend to spoil you a little because I want to make sure that your roots are firmly established in the soil of love.

One emotion that I was not prepared to feel, though, as your mother, is fear. How you will see me as you grow into a woman? Will you love me? Or will you resent me? I have chosen to be your mother, but you did not choose to be my daughter. I am sure that you will wonder about the one who gave birth to you. It is a normal and healthy thing to do. I hope that you will love her and be blessed with a close relationship with her. I am glad that we have an open relationship with her so that you will always have all your questions answered and, I hope, all your heart's needs fulfilled.

But where does that leave me? Am I the "other" mother? Does that make me less? Am I second best? One night as I prayed to have my heart unlocked toward you more fully, the Holy Spirit revealed this fear lying deeply in my heart. I heard His gentle whisper,

"So what if you are second best? Will you love her any differently?"

There you go. My fear out in front of me, waiting to be dealt with. How would I answer? There was no hesitation.

"No, I will not love her any differently. Whether or not she ever returns my love, I will love her with all my heart."

So, my precious pearl, I am yours forever. No matter what you choose to do with my heart, you have it today and forever. You always have, and you always will. I love you.

With all my heart,
Your mommy

Dedication

This morning we dedicated our babies! I loved how Pastor Bob pointed out that the little children were brought to Jesus during His earthly ministry, and we are continuing to do the same. Yes, Lord, bless our babies and make them Your own!

What made it extra special is that our friends Junius and Melissa dedicated their daughter Naomi at the same time. Johnny and Gina dedicated their youngest two, Hannah and Luke!

Asking for a Miracle

I hesitate to write this post, as I have posted so rarely in the past few months, and several of the last few posts have included requests for money. There are other things I would much rather talk about, and there are pictures to post. We are all growing and learning and adjusting to being a big family. Many of the things that I love to do have gone by the wayside lately, such as journaling, blogging, playing piano, reading, taking walks, and spending time with friends. Instead, I am feeding and caring for the babies 24/7, home schooling the older three children, and trying to keep up with Kole's constant busyness. And I don't regret it one bit.

However, as I prayed this evening for wisdom and direction regarding our financial situation, I felt that perhaps it is time to let others know again of our need. I know that God is giving many people a heart for adoption. There are so many children who need a forever home. We have stepped out in faith to open our home to one of them. God miraculously provided the up-front money we needed without our having to ask, but for whatever reason it is not so easy on this end of the process. Perhaps He is testing our faith. Will we trust Him no matter what? We are determined to do so.

So here's the deal. In order to finalize Alana's adoption, we need $800 for the last two post placement visits and $500 for finalization fees. In addition, today we received a bill from the lawyer in Louisiana for $1000 on top of what we have already paid him. As his job is not yet done, we expect we will owe him more before it's all over. This came as a total surprise. We had been told that the amount we paid up front would probably be more than enough. And we simply do not have the money for these expenses, despite the fact that we are constantly adjusting and trimming our budget.

Many people have already helped us with Alana's adoption. We are so grateful. I am not asking anyone to do anything that they cannot do. I am simply asking God for a miracle. In reality, this is such a small thing. Our Father, who created the heavens and the earth, can take care of it in a moment. So the issue is not whether He can. We know He can. And it is not whether He will. We know He will! The issue is whether we will trust Him.

". . . [O]ur God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us. . . . But if not, let it be known to you . . . that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up" (Daniel 3:17-18, NKJV).

We will not bow down to fear. No matter what, we WILL trust Him! We have taken a stand for righteousness. He will be faithful.

"In You, O LORD, I put my trust; let me never be put to shame" (Psalm 71:1, NKJV).

Thank you for your understanding.

Bring Home Alayna

This is a family that I have been following through their blog for about a year. They are amazing, have such hearts to give a home to children. God has brought a new baby to them, due to be born in the next couple of weeks. Please consider giving to help with the adoption expenses. You can read about the adoption here.

Drawn from Water

Please read below, click the link, do as the Lord leads. These kids need our help.

The rubber hitting the dirt (not much pavement in Jinka)

I debated if I should make this post into a whole stand-alone post or quietly add it into another of the posts here…. And honestly am still debating in my head which is the best way to do it. But here goes nothing.

We are having a hard time with money. The costs of running the orphanage and working on getting the children adopted despite being in a inexpensive country are high and we do not have enough supporters. We had a good push at the beginning of people who donated but that has dropped off and we are getting dangerously low on money.

I need to stop right here and say that this is a very hard post to write. Everything in me is telling me to stop and delete it and hope for the best but I know that I made a commitment to these kids to help support them and right now that means being humble and asking that people like you help support them and our effort to get them into families. So I am going to keep rolling on here and hope that it works.

Our costs are extremely low by western standards; we support 10 children and 7 full time staff for less than the cost of one couple with no children in to live a modest lifestyle in America. Yet we are still having a hard time getting the money together to make that happen. The other thing is that now with the plan to find families for the children our cost are going up.

Ok I need to stop and just let you do what you feel led to do. We have a neat little donate button up above that you can click and the rest is up to you.

Also, I have said this before and am saying it again because so many of you have helped out in this way and it works so good. If you have a blog please post about us so that we can spread the word.

And let me be the first to say thank you, thank you, and thank you!

Levi Benkert

Please click here to donate.

Little 'Lana

Words cannot express how in love we are with our little 'Lana. She is beautiful, happy, peaceful, and indescribably precious. Her eyes are so expressive, and she has long, beautiful, curly eyelashes. When you look into her face, she responds with the most uninhibited, happy grin that you've ever seen. I hope we can capture it on camera sometime. Everyone who meets her is instantly in love.

We are still in need of $2,000.00 to finalize Alana's adoption. Would you please consider a donation of any size? You can use the link to the right and donate securely through PayPal. Thank you so much!

An Exciting Opportunity!

Drawn From Water is a ministry that is rescuing babies from being killed by their own tribe. CLICK HERE to read more about them and to see the exciting news - the children are going to be made available for adoption!

Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

We Have Room

This one too!

Promo for "We Have Room" Documentary from David Watson on Vimeo.

The Blind Side

I HAVE to see this movie!

Praise Report and Prayer Request

Click on picture to see entire album:

2009-08 Tayan

We want to praise God for the healthy delivery of our son, Tayan Glenn Swagerty! After five hours of relatively easy labor and an intense half hour at the end, he was born 9 lb. 3 oz., 21.5 inches, at 9:34am on Sunday, August 9. We are so glad that God started the labor naturally before our scheduled inducement. Tay is simply a joy, very peaceful, and eats like a horse! He also looks a lot like his namesake, "GoPa" Glenn.

We also ask for continued prayer for Michelle's recovery. Several hours after the birth, Michelle started hemorrhaging. She lost a good deal of blood. The doctors and nurses were considering a transfusion but decided not to after things started to turn around. Thanks to the diligent prayer covering and the skill of the medical staff, she was released the next day to recuperate at home. Paul and Laura are caring for Michelle, Tayan, and Alana at home while our older children are cared for by other family members.

Daddy Paul asks that you please be considerate of our children's little ears regarding what you may have heard or think you know about what happened to their Mommy last Sunday.

Thank you again and again for all your prayers and love during this pregnancy and birth.

Waiting to be Delivered

I have been thinking a lot the past week or two about the parallels between waiting for a baby to be born and waiting for Jesus to come back. In the case of birth, I have to be in a constant state of readiness. Bags are packed and contingency plans are made to be ready to head to the hospital at a moment's notice. At the same time, my daily life has to be lived: children cared for, meals made, relationships maintained, etc. There is this constant tension between what is right now and what could be at any moment. It can be wearying, and not only on me. Our whole family is feeling it. We are learning in the process to enjoy the moments we have while always anticipating what we know is coming.

Today has been a good day. Our work for the week done (amazing!), we just had fun together. Nothing big, just playing and laughing and loving. Going to the park this afternoon, reading together, taking a walk after dinner. But every now and then one of the kids would look at my large belly and say, "I wish Tayan would come out right now." "Me too," I responded. When we were putting him to bed, Cedar said, "I want Tayan to come out so I can see if he has red hair like me." Me too, honey.

As we sat on the back porch this evening, the kids sucking the last of the juice out of their popsicle sleeves and wishing they had more, we started daydreaming about the joys we look forward to in Heaven (i.e., never-ending fountains of popsicle juice or - my favorite fantasy - of chocolate!). I know that I don't long for eternity with the intensity that I desire to be delivered of this baby. I don't know how I could stand to live with that level of longing all the time. But I also don't want to become complacent and content with this present world.

So when I read these words in The Message today, they struck me as very appropriate.

"... I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs ... yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good" (Romans 8:18-28, emphasis mine).

Amen! Come, little Tayan. And come, Lord Jesus!

Fun Day

Here are a few more pictures of our afternoon at the water park.

40 Weeks Plus 2 Days

Our life has been rather on hold for the past couple of weeks since we really expected to have delivered this baby by now! (Our previous three were all delivered by 39 weeks, so naturally we thought Tayan would be too. His estimated date of delivery was August 5.) So today, since we are still waiting, we decided to make this a fun day for our family. No chores, just play! Here we are at Lonetree Park meeting Daddy for lunch and water play.

Snapshots from Today

Brand-new diapers drying in the sunshine ...

... and Rainbow proudly showing off her gap-toothed grin. She pulled it out all by herself after dinner!

Silly Faces

This is how we're entertaining ourselves this morning while we're feeling a bit under the weather.

Beautiful Alana

'Nuf said.

Happy Independence Day!

From the Swagerty kids:
Thunder, Rainbow, Crown, Laughter, and Mr. Tree



God bless America!

Placer County Fair

And, last weekend, we went to the Placer County Fair! I'm not sure what makes me think I can still do all this. I was pretty tired from the walking and the heat. But we made memories, so I'm glad that we went.

2009-06-26 Fair