Now that I have been mother to an adopted child of another race for a few months, I have a few thoughts to share. They are a small contribution to the general discussion about adopting and race issues. I do not consider them well-thought-out or complete. Just me in the process of growing in understanding.
It seems to me that race is not a simple matter of clearly defined labels such as "red and yellow, black and white," though all people are certainly "precious in His sight." People's skin type, hair texture, and features are as varied as the people themselves. Some people are tall (like my husband), others are short (like me), and most fall somewhere in between (where probably most of our children will be). Dry skin crosses genetic and racial lines; it is a characteristic shared by two of my daughters (Laughter and Crown) and me. The reality is that every trait comes in a spectrum. There are infinite variety and combinations. How beautiful! I find it much more interesting than my previous notions that people could be categorized. (Not to mention that many people are not clearly "black" or "white" or anything else anyway; and increasing number of people are a lovely mixture of races, breaking down previously established boundary lines.)
One result of my changing mindset is that I am starting to realize that I don't so much need to learn how to do "black" hair. As I've talked with other moms, I have discovered that there is as much variety in "black" hair as there is in "white" hair (whatever that is). My daughters each have unique hair and skin, and it is my privilege to discover the products and techniques that best care for each of them. (In fact, it has taken me many years to find the right hair and body products for myself as well.)
On a slightly different note, the concept of adoption is a thread weaving itself throughout my consciousness. Last week, I was forced to spend an entire church service in the nursing mom's room enduring my adopted daughter's screams. In some ways, it seems easier to love her patiently in that situation than my birth children. After all, who do I have to be angry at? Myself? For I hunted her down and chose to have her in my life. In no way was she forced on me by chance or providence. Though I love my homegrown kids, my human nature has sometimes struggled not to resent their ubiquitous presence in my life. (I'm just being honest here.) I know it's a wrong attitude, and as I pray and mature, I learn to see them as a blessing and a privilege. Recently, I realized that if these very same children were in need of adoption, I would gladly welcome them into my home. There is no way I would allow them to be orphans if there was anything I could do about it. And suddenly, I found that they are incredibly precious. No longer simply extensions of myself, they are unique treasures in their own right. This may sound strange, but in my heart I decided to "adopt" every one of them. I kind of laugh at myself, because that thought makes me like them more! In some way, isn't that God's heart as well? He made us, true, but He also chose us, adopted us as His sons and daughters.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Monday, April 05, 2010
Thank You
I just want to post this video of Mark Schultz's song as a thank-you to our Crown Princess's birth mother, who loves our baby every day from a distance. I remember the day we met her. Her face was puffy from having been crying while waiting for us to come make her baby our own. While she was sure of her decision, that didn't make it easy for her AT ALL. She made the decision out of love. And we love her from the bottom of our hearts.
Mark Schultz's Song, Everything to Me
And if you want more, here's a short interview with Mark Schultz about the song.
Interview with Mark Schultz
Mark Schultz's Song, Everything to Me
And if you want more, here's a short interview with Mark Schultz about the song.
Interview with Mark Schultz
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Celebrating the Lamb
Lambs make me really happy these days. Let me explain.
When I was a kid, my parents made certain decisions about how we celebrated holidays. We celebrated Jesus-only Christmases, Thanksgiving but not Halloween, and Easter without the Easter bunny. Since having children of my own, my husband and I have thought and prayed through these things for ourselves and have come to basically the same conclusions my parents did. We would much rather celebrate the "real meaning" in the sacred holidays than incorporate the secularized version. We don't want to muddy the waters of our children's understanding about God.
Now I want to state up front that I know not everyone comes to the same conclusions we have. In fact, I have come across some pretty compelling arguments for making different choices than we've made. I have no intention of trying to convince or defend our choices here. Many of our good friends celebrate Santa, the Easter bunny, and Halloween. I respect each family's privilege of following the Lord's leading in their own holiday traditions. I just want to share this part of our journey.
Back to my story. I have discovered that we can have the most well-thought-out reasons in the world for deciding to make a break with cultural traditions, but that doesn't make it any easier when we are walking with our children through a store and they see HUGE egg- and bunny-filled baskets and wonder why we don't plan to get them one. Or why we aren't going to have an Easter egg hunt. These things obviously must be an essential part of the Easter celebration. And I feel like a real heel. And I want to hide at home until it all just goes away.
But not really. That's not how I want to live. Nor is it the response we want to teach our children. So instead, last weekend we took the opportunity to sit down as a family and talk about it. Though it might have been easier (for now) to just say no and leave it at that, I know it won't work long-term. Neither is it how my parents modeled leadership to me. So instead, I prayed, asked Salt Racer to join the discussion, and calmed down (as I was getting pretty riled up about it all). As we talked, I started to realize that what our family needs is not merely we-don't-celebrate-Easter-bunnies-and-eggs, but a we-DO-celebrate-Jesus-the-Lamb! The kids and I totally latched on to that. We all started to see that we could have our own special holiday traditions without participating in the ones that are not OK for us.
Since that conversation, I have been so relieved. Now we have a direction to go in celebrating with our children during this season. We gathered up stuffed lambs for our own, personal version of Easter. For our Bible time this week, we walked through some of the events of Jesus' life the week before He laid down His life for us, such as the triumphal entry and washing of the disciples feet, finding that we gained deeper understanding as we did. We had great fun making Easter story cookies that I read about on Stephanie's blog. We went to see a beautiful, moving musical celebrating Jesus at Capital Christian Center. I put together little bowls of candy crosses and flowers for a Resurrection morning surprise. Instead of an Easter egg hunt, we will have a "Find-the-Lamb" hunt where, over the next few days, they will look for a big stuffed lamb hiding with a treat (just as the disciples never knew when or where they would see Jesus after His resurrection). Finally, I hope in the next few weeks to take them to a real sheep farm. And I even have ideas as to how we can expand and deepen these traditions in future years!
So I just wanted to share that for the first time in years, I am really excited about celebrating this week, which I prefer to call Passion Week or Holy Week, though I won't quibble about "Easter" since it's what most people are used to. I am excited to make this start on creating Easter holiday traditions that our children grow up anticipating with joy.
Hallelujah! The Lamb of God is risen! And ... HE'S COMING BACK!!!!!!!
When I was a kid, my parents made certain decisions about how we celebrated holidays. We celebrated Jesus-only Christmases, Thanksgiving but not Halloween, and Easter without the Easter bunny. Since having children of my own, my husband and I have thought and prayed through these things for ourselves and have come to basically the same conclusions my parents did. We would much rather celebrate the "real meaning" in the sacred holidays than incorporate the secularized version. We don't want to muddy the waters of our children's understanding about God.
Now I want to state up front that I know not everyone comes to the same conclusions we have. In fact, I have come across some pretty compelling arguments for making different choices than we've made. I have no intention of trying to convince or defend our choices here. Many of our good friends celebrate Santa, the Easter bunny, and Halloween. I respect each family's privilege of following the Lord's leading in their own holiday traditions. I just want to share this part of our journey.
Back to my story. I have discovered that we can have the most well-thought-out reasons in the world for deciding to make a break with cultural traditions, but that doesn't make it any easier when we are walking with our children through a store and they see HUGE egg- and bunny-filled baskets and wonder why we don't plan to get them one. Or why we aren't going to have an Easter egg hunt. These things obviously must be an essential part of the Easter celebration. And I feel like a real heel. And I want to hide at home until it all just goes away.
But not really. That's not how I want to live. Nor is it the response we want to teach our children. So instead, last weekend we took the opportunity to sit down as a family and talk about it. Though it might have been easier (for now) to just say no and leave it at that, I know it won't work long-term. Neither is it how my parents modeled leadership to me. So instead, I prayed, asked Salt Racer to join the discussion, and calmed down (as I was getting pretty riled up about it all). As we talked, I started to realize that what our family needs is not merely we-don't-celebrate-Easter-bunnies-and-eggs, but a we-DO-celebrate-Jesus-the-Lamb! The kids and I totally latched on to that. We all started to see that we could have our own special holiday traditions without participating in the ones that are not OK for us.
Since that conversation, I have been so relieved. Now we have a direction to go in celebrating with our children during this season. We gathered up stuffed lambs for our own, personal version of Easter. For our Bible time this week, we walked through some of the events of Jesus' life the week before He laid down His life for us, such as the triumphal entry and washing of the disciples feet, finding that we gained deeper understanding as we did. We had great fun making Easter story cookies that I read about on Stephanie's blog. We went to see a beautiful, moving musical celebrating Jesus at Capital Christian Center. I put together little bowls of candy crosses and flowers for a Resurrection morning surprise. Instead of an Easter egg hunt, we will have a "Find-the-Lamb" hunt where, over the next few days, they will look for a big stuffed lamb hiding with a treat (just as the disciples never knew when or where they would see Jesus after His resurrection). Finally, I hope in the next few weeks to take them to a real sheep farm. And I even have ideas as to how we can expand and deepen these traditions in future years!
So I just wanted to share that for the first time in years, I am really excited about celebrating this week, which I prefer to call Passion Week or Holy Week, though I won't quibble about "Easter" since it's what most people are used to. I am excited to make this start on creating Easter holiday traditions that our children grow up anticipating with joy.
Hallelujah! The Lamb of God is risen! And ... HE'S COMING BACK!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Didn't Get the Memo
If you wonder why we do what we do (and why we intend to keep on doing it), read this post. I think it sums it up pretty well.
http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2010/03/we-didnt-get-memo.html
This is not just for those who have hearts for adoption, but for all who give away their lives every day, laying down their lives for others instead of putting themselves first. Adoption is a big one on God's heart, and so is human trafficking, homelessness, sex addiction, poverty, single parenthood, and more ... there are so many opportunities. What has God laid on your heart?
http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/2010/03/we-didnt-get-memo.html
This is not just for those who have hearts for adoption, but for all who give away their lives every day, laying down their lives for others instead of putting themselves first. Adoption is a big one on God's heart, and so is human trafficking, homelessness, sex addiction, poverty, single parenthood, and more ... there are so many opportunities. What has God laid on your heart?
Sunday, March 28, 2010
And a Good Time Was Had by All ...
Today we went to experience the snow with our children before it's too late for this season and it all melts away. The only way we were willing to venture out to do this was to have a specific destination in mind that offered hot chocolate, restrooms, and a place to go indoors. We decided on Squaw Valley. After spending the first few hours of the day getting everyone breakfasted, dressed, lunches made and all the accoutrements that go with babies and small children packed, we pulled out at 11am. We'd hoped to leave between 9-10am, but with a large brood, we're learning to be flexible.
Two hours later, driving two cars and having had only one baby scream for the last 20 minutes, we arrived. (Beloved Pearl and I had an awesome time chatting the whole way up and back. Though we do live and work together every day, we're pretty busy and don't always have as much time to talk as we'd like.) Packing the babies into the double stroller and making sure everyone had their warm things on, we discovered that Laughter had forgotten her coat and Mommy had forgotten to remind/help her find one. Well, we'll make the best of it. We planned to make this a short trip anyway.
After wandering around base camp to get our bearings, we decided to eat lunch at an outdoor barbecue area where we could see the skiers riding the lift and ending their runs. It was worth braving the cold wind in the shade for the chance to soak up the atmosphere and people-watch. (Plenty of people were watching us too, I'm sure!) As soon as the food had been consumed (and bottles warmed by nice taco-sellers at Beloved Pearl's request, and enjoyed by two hungry babies), we were ready to re-enter the sunshine and find some snow to play in. We trooped behind our brave leader as he scoped out the possibilities and settled on a patch of snow in front of a store. It was just the right size for our little crew! We laughed as we pictured how silly we must look playing in this tiny patch of snow and taking pictures as if this were the most marvelous experience we'd ever had while entire snow-covered mountains surrounded us. But we were having a blast! Even Thunder got to enjoy this snow adventure in miniature. Our brave Little Tree was delighted to discover another snowy hill just a few feet away, so we hiked across the pavement to have snow balls chucked at us by four gleeful children.
Laughter was unfortunately starting to turn blue, so we ended our snow exploration to retreat inside a Starbucks. Finding a little corner to take over (the only other occupants being a pair of very nice ladies who spoke kindly to our Precious Crown), Saltracer ordered a bunch of hot chocolates (our only expense on this trip besides gas). These having been consumed with great enjoyment (and only two spills, a few dozen napkins and a mop), we headed out. Stopped by the restroom to make sure those who could go potty in the toilet went and those who couldn't were changed (discovering after the first un-diapering that all diapers had been left in the van, so auntie ran to tell daddy who ran to get them while auntie stayed with those outside the bathroom and mommy stood guard over aforementioned un-diapered baby and those children who were still in the bathroom). Loaded up the cars two hours after having arrived with four tired and happy children, two tired and not quite as happy babies, and three tired and happy grownups for an uneventful drive home.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Two hours later, driving two cars and having had only one baby scream for the last 20 minutes, we arrived. (Beloved Pearl and I had an awesome time chatting the whole way up and back. Though we do live and work together every day, we're pretty busy and don't always have as much time to talk as we'd like.) Packing the babies into the double stroller and making sure everyone had their warm things on, we discovered that Laughter had forgotten her coat and Mommy had forgotten to remind/help her find one. Well, we'll make the best of it. We planned to make this a short trip anyway.
After wandering around base camp to get our bearings, we decided to eat lunch at an outdoor barbecue area where we could see the skiers riding the lift and ending their runs. It was worth braving the cold wind in the shade for the chance to soak up the atmosphere and people-watch. (Plenty of people were watching us too, I'm sure!) As soon as the food had been consumed (and bottles warmed by nice taco-sellers at Beloved Pearl's request, and enjoyed by two hungry babies), we were ready to re-enter the sunshine and find some snow to play in. We trooped behind our brave leader as he scoped out the possibilities and settled on a patch of snow in front of a store. It was just the right size for our little crew! We laughed as we pictured how silly we must look playing in this tiny patch of snow and taking pictures as if this were the most marvelous experience we'd ever had while entire snow-covered mountains surrounded us. But we were having a blast! Even Thunder got to enjoy this snow adventure in miniature. Our brave Little Tree was delighted to discover another snowy hill just a few feet away, so we hiked across the pavement to have snow balls chucked at us by four gleeful children.
Laughter was unfortunately starting to turn blue, so we ended our snow exploration to retreat inside a Starbucks. Finding a little corner to take over (the only other occupants being a pair of very nice ladies who spoke kindly to our Precious Crown), Saltracer ordered a bunch of hot chocolates (our only expense on this trip besides gas). These having been consumed with great enjoyment (and only two spills, a few dozen napkins and a mop), we headed out. Stopped by the restroom to make sure those who could go potty in the toilet went and those who couldn't were changed (discovering after the first un-diapering that all diapers had been left in the van, so auntie ran to tell daddy who ran to get them while auntie stayed with those outside the bathroom and mommy stood guard over aforementioned un-diapered baby and those children who were still in the bathroom). Loaded up the cars two hours after having arrived with four tired and happy children, two tired and not quite as happy babies, and three tired and happy grownups for an uneventful drive home.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Brain Fog
I suffer from brain fog. It's pretty strong right now so I'm having trouble concentrating enough to even figure out what I wanted to write. I didn't wake up with it. This morning I had energy and motivation. I was in a good mood, and I was looking forward to a great day with my kids: giving the babies baths, twisting TaTa's hair, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, folding cloth diapers, and then maybe doing some fun things like reading, watching a movie with my girls, or doing a project like making bubble gum with them (Laughter got a gum-making kit for her birthday last summer).
Then, about four hours after I woke up, the brain fog began. I thought maybe it was because I needed to eat something, so I did, but it didn't get better. Instead of feeling happy and motivated, I now feel tired and easily overwhelmed. I can barely do anything and I feel disconnected. It feels like there's a cloud in my forehead and behind my eyes. I just want to go to sleep. And it's frustrating, because there are so many other things I know I'd really rather do, but I don't have the energy anymore to do them. What happened? And why?
I told my sis-in-law, so she and the girls prayed for me. While praying, I thought of looking up "brain fog" online. I'd never thought of doing that before, so I thought perhaps it was the Holy Spirit's leading. To my surprise, quite a few links popped up. None terribly helpful though. Brain fog can be linked to a whole lot of things including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, menopause, stress, depression ... and the recommended remedies are just as varied. Exercise, rest, diet, meditation, supplements, and more are possible treatments. Oh, and it's also apparently not a recognized medical diagnosis. Just something that a lot of people say they suffer from. Even a lot of teenagers, which also surprised me.
What to do? I don't know, except to throw myself into the arms of my Creator Father and ask for His help. Abba, please heal me. I want to be well!
Then, about four hours after I woke up, the brain fog began. I thought maybe it was because I needed to eat something, so I did, but it didn't get better. Instead of feeling happy and motivated, I now feel tired and easily overwhelmed. I can barely do anything and I feel disconnected. It feels like there's a cloud in my forehead and behind my eyes. I just want to go to sleep. And it's frustrating, because there are so many other things I know I'd really rather do, but I don't have the energy anymore to do them. What happened? And why?
I told my sis-in-law, so she and the girls prayed for me. While praying, I thought of looking up "brain fog" online. I'd never thought of doing that before, so I thought perhaps it was the Holy Spirit's leading. To my surprise, quite a few links popped up. None terribly helpful though. Brain fog can be linked to a whole lot of things including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, menopause, stress, depression ... and the recommended remedies are just as varied. Exercise, rest, diet, meditation, supplements, and more are possible treatments. Oh, and it's also apparently not a recognized medical diagnosis. Just something that a lot of people say they suffer from. Even a lot of teenagers, which also surprised me.
What to do? I don't know, except to throw myself into the arms of my Creator Father and ask for His help. Abba, please heal me. I want to be well!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Third Day Mac Powell Adoption Testimony
If you have ever felt the Lord tug at your heart to adopt, you may want to watch this testimony. Let Him speak to your heart!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
A Baby Break
My babies have been at their grandparents' house for the past 24 hours. It's the first time they've been away from home overnight. I've enjoyed having a bit of a break from the complicated round of diapers, bottles, naps, and laundry which make up much of my daily life. I have been able to relax a bit with only my 7-, 5-, 4-, and 2-year-old children to think about. This morning I had to change only one diaper before breakfast. I was able to eat my own food without spooning food into two other mouths between my own bites. I found myself reflecting that if we had made some different choices last year, this could be my life. Much simpler. A bit quieter. Less stressful. I must admit, it was kind of nice.
I knew that I needed some perspective. So, the next time I went into the bathroom, I picked up the most recent issue of Lifelines magazine that we receive from Bethany Christian Services. With a prayer in my heart that God would restore me to His perspective, I opened it up and read about families who have adopted. My heart resonated when I read one mom's words, "We were comfortable in our routine, yet I knew that we weren't put on this earth to be 'comfortable.'" I read profiles of children who need to be adopted and cried as I prayed that God would place them in families. (Yes, I read and cry and pray in the bathroom. It's sometimes the only place I can be alone!)
Later, I read some articles on the Above Rubies website. Then I went to my Google Reader and saw Stephanie's post. (I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has these thoughts. God knew what I needed to read today!)
I did enjoy the break. It was nice to have time to get my refrigerator cleaned this morning with my girls' help while Saltracer (hubby) took the boys on errands with him. And I didn't quite feel ready for the babies to come home as soon as they did. But we all have a choice. We can invest in our own comfort, or we can invest in others. I have made my choice. If I could go back to last year and decide all over again, I know that I would not change a thing. Besides, I did miss my babies a little bit. :)
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25; also in Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, and Luke 17:33)
I am not living for today. I am living for eternity. Then I will rest. Until then, I am resting in faith that He is sufficient for today.
I knew that I needed some perspective. So, the next time I went into the bathroom, I picked up the most recent issue of Lifelines magazine that we receive from Bethany Christian Services. With a prayer in my heart that God would restore me to His perspective, I opened it up and read about families who have adopted. My heart resonated when I read one mom's words, "We were comfortable in our routine, yet I knew that we weren't put on this earth to be 'comfortable.'" I read profiles of children who need to be adopted and cried as I prayed that God would place them in families. (Yes, I read and cry and pray in the bathroom. It's sometimes the only place I can be alone!)
Later, I read some articles on the Above Rubies website. Then I went to my Google Reader and saw Stephanie's post. (I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has these thoughts. God knew what I needed to read today!)
I did enjoy the break. It was nice to have time to get my refrigerator cleaned this morning with my girls' help while Saltracer (hubby) took the boys on errands with him. And I didn't quite feel ready for the babies to come home as soon as they did. But we all have a choice. We can invest in our own comfort, or we can invest in others. I have made my choice. If I could go back to last year and decide all over again, I know that I would not change a thing. Besides, I did miss my babies a little bit. :)
"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 16:25; also in Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, and Luke 17:33)
I am not living for today. I am living for eternity. Then I will rest. Until then, I am resting in faith that He is sufficient for today.
Friday, March 05, 2010
10 Things I Love about My Husband
I have been thinking about this for a few days. This post reminded me that I've been wanting to share a few things that I love about my husband:
1. He cuddles with me every night when we go to bed even though he has to lay on the side that hurts to do it. (His back and neck need God's healing touch. His body is in constant pain.)
2. He loves our children and shows it by wrestling with them and letting them help him in the garden.
3. He changes diapers (even poopy ones) uncomplainingly even though he knows he doesn't have to. (We have a deal: I don't have to squish bugs and he doesn't have to change poopy diapers. But he does it anyway.)
4. He loves to spend time with me! He looks forward to our date nights as much as I do.
5. He texts me every day when he's on the way home and wants me to reply letting him know what we're doing so he can join in when he comes through the door. I love that he cares about the little things.
6. He tells me I'm his favorite person (and he is mine!).
7. He thinks I'm beautiful even when I have no makeup on, haven't brushed my hair, and am wearing spit-uppy sweats.
8. He makes the bed when he gets up last (even though he hates doing it) because he knows it means a lot to me.
9. He doesn't complain when he has to go to the laundry room to find his shirts.
10. He cries when he reads about orphans or rescued babies.
We have only been married eight years, and I am more and more amazed all the time at what an incredible husband I have.
Do you want to share about how awesome your husband is?
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Let's Get Real Some More
Well, that was fun! It was a relief to get some of my hidden fears into the open, and I loved reading yours too. More stuff has come to mind today, so I think I'll keep sharing.
7. I really struggle to appreciate my children's artwork. I know that they need to create, and I love to see what they do, but in the pit of my stomach there is always this feeling of dread when they bring me something they just drew. Now I have another treasure, priceless to my child, which they want me to display prominently (preferably hanging on the wall next to my bed) and which I want to throw away as quickly as possible. Then I feel guilty for being so heartless. I have set up a system that works pretty well, but they keep insisting that this one is SO special that I just HAVE to hang it in my room (which is my husband's and my sanctuary and I want to keep it as clear of toys and kids' clutter as possible).
8. Speaking of keeping my room kid-free, we have had babies sharing our room for much of our marriage. And we have never had a real bassinet. They sleep in portable pack-n-plays. I feel bad about it sometimes, but mostly I just haven't seen the need to invest in something fancy when this works just as well.
9. We do not have enough storage space for our kids' clothing. Currently our 7-year-old keeps her clothes in a plastic 3-drawer thingy from Walmart that we happened to have. Our 6-year-old has a broken down dresser that was found as junk in front of someone's house which we refinished for her, but the drawers don't really work right. Our 4- and 2-year-olds have overflowing baskets on shelves in their closet (I actually like this arrangement; less fussy than a dresser and easier for them to put their clothes away themselves. Well, at least for the 4-year-old. Though he rarely puts them in the right basket.) Our babies used to share one dresser/changing table combo, but now that they're getting bigger I can't fit all their clothes in it, so our 9-month old has the dresser to herself while our 6-month-old's clothes are in (and on) a plastic bin next to the dresser.
10. I dislike crafts with a passion. The mess, the trouble, it just gets to me. Especially when there are toddlers around to make it more complicated. So, unlike my friend who does it anyway, I do not. At least, we do as little as I can get away with. Tonight my girls are painting because we got our school work done early and I told them we could do fun stuff this afternoon/evening. So I could hardly tell them no when they've been waiting weeks (or months) to do these projects (one of them is an unfinished box my 5-year-old got for her birthday last June). When I finally do let them do it I feel like SUCH a good Mommy though!
11. We usually eat dinner sometime between 7-8pm. Then the kids get in their jammies and go to bed. It's not how I grew up, and it seems rather strange to me, but our kids are used to it. And it just seems to work for us. But I always feel a little guilty that we have snack time around 4pm and don't have dinner until late. I'm not sure why I feel guilty about it though, except that we are not like a lot of other people who eat earlier.
Okay, my kids want me to help them with their crafts. Sigh. Guess I'd better go!
7. I really struggle to appreciate my children's artwork. I know that they need to create, and I love to see what they do, but in the pit of my stomach there is always this feeling of dread when they bring me something they just drew. Now I have another treasure, priceless to my child, which they want me to display prominently (preferably hanging on the wall next to my bed) and which I want to throw away as quickly as possible. Then I feel guilty for being so heartless. I have set up a system that works pretty well, but they keep insisting that this one is SO special that I just HAVE to hang it in my room (which is my husband's and my sanctuary and I want to keep it as clear of toys and kids' clutter as possible).
8. Speaking of keeping my room kid-free, we have had babies sharing our room for much of our marriage. And we have never had a real bassinet. They sleep in portable pack-n-plays. I feel bad about it sometimes, but mostly I just haven't seen the need to invest in something fancy when this works just as well.
9. We do not have enough storage space for our kids' clothing. Currently our 7-year-old keeps her clothes in a plastic 3-drawer thingy from Walmart that we happened to have. Our 6-year-old has a broken down dresser that was found as junk in front of someone's house which we refinished for her, but the drawers don't really work right. Our 4- and 2-year-olds have overflowing baskets on shelves in their closet (I actually like this arrangement; less fussy than a dresser and easier for them to put their clothes away themselves. Well, at least for the 4-year-old. Though he rarely puts them in the right basket.) Our babies used to share one dresser/changing table combo, but now that they're getting bigger I can't fit all their clothes in it, so our 9-month old has the dresser to herself while our 6-month-old's clothes are in (and on) a plastic bin next to the dresser.
10. I dislike crafts with a passion. The mess, the trouble, it just gets to me. Especially when there are toddlers around to make it more complicated. So, unlike my friend who does it anyway, I do not. At least, we do as little as I can get away with. Tonight my girls are painting because we got our school work done early and I told them we could do fun stuff this afternoon/evening. So I could hardly tell them no when they've been waiting weeks (or months) to do these projects (one of them is an unfinished box my 5-year-old got for her birthday last June). When I finally do let them do it I feel like SUCH a good Mommy though!
11. We usually eat dinner sometime between 7-8pm. Then the kids get in their jammies and go to bed. It's not how I grew up, and it seems rather strange to me, but our kids are used to it. And it just seems to work for us. But I always feel a little guilty that we have snack time around 4pm and don't have dinner until late. I'm not sure why I feel guilty about it though, except that we are not like a lot of other people who eat earlier.
Okay, my kids want me to help them with their crafts. Sigh. Guess I'd better go!
Let's Get Real
My friend, Courtney (who I only know through her blog), inspired this post. I try to be real in this blog (and in my life). Sometimes I feel I am too open. But I like people to know me in reality, not in some false image that I create for them.
EXCEPT when it comes to my house. In that area, I would love to have someone airbrush my life. (I'm just being honest.) Over the past year, my husband and I have been in a dinner group hosted by several couples who have become good friends. (One or two of them may even read this blog.) And I have grown terrified at the thought that we might ever need to take our turn hosting. Without exception, every one of their houses has been neater, cleaner, and most of all, more beautifully decorated than mine. We live comfortably and, for the most part, happily in this rental with terrible gray-brown carpet and plain white walls that need paint badly. We're actually grateful for the yucky carpet since our babies love to roll off of whatever blanket or towel I lay them on and spit up on it!
Anyway, I love to read things my friends write that are just real, so I am joining the Mommy Revolution and spreading the word to just Get Real. I enjoy relationships so much more when I am allowed past the facade, and I'm sure many others feel the same way. If you do, leave a comment or write your own post and leave a link so I can get to know you better too!
I've already shared about my embarrassment over my less-than-guest-ready-home. (Oh, and I forgot to mention the huge backyard that is a swamp during the winter and a lumpy mess of weeds and bare patches in the summer - but the kids LOVE to run and play in it so I love it too - except when we have guests to see its flaws.) Here are a few more confessions:
1. The Valentine's Date Disaster: My husband and I have given up going on dates on Valentine's Day since our fourth child was born on Feb. 14. So last week we went on our belated (and much anticipated) Valentine date. It started out well. We enjoyed a free dinner at On the Border with a gift card Paul had gotten from work. Afterward, as we were driving to the movie theater to see Edge of Darkness with our discounted movie tickets from Costco, we were pulled over and cited for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. Needless to say, that put a serious damper on the evening. After some awkward attempts on my part to help cheer my husband up (he was driving), we went ahead to the movie. (It was fun to see the bad guys get what they had coming to them.) We had planned to go out to dessert after the movie, but a series of miscommunications and assumptions led us to come home instead and go to bed frustrated and angry (at least, I was). I learned a lesson that I hope sticks with me: when someone just got a ticket (or something else bad happens to them), don't try to cheer them up. Just empathize. Be in the moment. Give it time. Perspective will come later, but sometimes you just need a chance to grieve, rant, be sad, be mad, whatever.
Last night we did get to finish our plans by having a dessert date at Cheesecake Factory where I ordered Chris's Outrageous Chocolate Cake. (It really is outrageous; I'm still working on it.) We talked about words and definitions and things that no one in the world would think funny except ourselves. We laughed and laughed and enjoyed each other. Then we came home and watched Ice Castles on Netflix instant watch. It wasn't at good a movie as I remembered it being when I was a teen.
That one was really long. I hope the rest are shorter.
2. Anger: I yelled at my four-year-old today while making my five-year-old cry by snapping at her. After a day filled with grace and many wonderful moments, I suddenly lost all patience. We got the math done, but I was sad to have lost some of the sparkle in their eyes. Maybe we can get it back tomorrow. Thank God for new days.
3. Bad Personal Hygiene: I don't get dressed every day, or even brush my hair or teeth. Today was one of those days.
4. Self-induced Sleep Deprivation: I stay up way too late nearly every night and pay for it in the morning. Tonight is one of those nights. I love to get up early to spend time with God, but most days it doesn't happen and I try to make it up at naptime.
5. Once a Week Whether They Need It Or Not: I only give my kids baths once a week. That may horrify some, but it's the way it is. It takes me all morning to get them all bathed. I just can't do it every day. So one day during the weekend is "bath day," and they all get clean, "whether they need it or not," as my husband says. (Believe me, by then they need it. - We do try to keep hands and faces clean in between, but their nails are truly disgusting by the end of the week.)
6. Procrastination: I hate cleaning bathrooms, putting away laundry, and picking up toys. So I procrastinate. And then, when it gets really bad, I yell at the kids for not keeping their bathroom clean, putting away their laundry, and picking up their toys. (I am gradually riding this cycle less and less, thankfully, but I still need help.)
I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I am a weak, sinful person who needs to admit that fact far more often than I actually do. I am learning to say I'm sorry more, but it's still hard for me. I need God, and I need to know how much I need Him. I want to be free of the need for approval from others, but I still crave it.
How about you? Want to share?
EXCEPT when it comes to my house. In that area, I would love to have someone airbrush my life. (I'm just being honest.) Over the past year, my husband and I have been in a dinner group hosted by several couples who have become good friends. (One or two of them may even read this blog.) And I have grown terrified at the thought that we might ever need to take our turn hosting. Without exception, every one of their houses has been neater, cleaner, and most of all, more beautifully decorated than mine. We live comfortably and, for the most part, happily in this rental with terrible gray-brown carpet and plain white walls that need paint badly. We're actually grateful for the yucky carpet since our babies love to roll off of whatever blanket or towel I lay them on and spit up on it!
Anyway, I love to read things my friends write that are just real, so I am joining the Mommy Revolution and spreading the word to just Get Real. I enjoy relationships so much more when I am allowed past the facade, and I'm sure many others feel the same way. If you do, leave a comment or write your own post and leave a link so I can get to know you better too!
I've already shared about my embarrassment over my less-than-guest-ready-home. (Oh, and I forgot to mention the huge backyard that is a swamp during the winter and a lumpy mess of weeds and bare patches in the summer - but the kids LOVE to run and play in it so I love it too - except when we have guests to see its flaws.) Here are a few more confessions:
1. The Valentine's Date Disaster: My husband and I have given up going on dates on Valentine's Day since our fourth child was born on Feb. 14. So last week we went on our belated (and much anticipated) Valentine date. It started out well. We enjoyed a free dinner at On the Border with a gift card Paul had gotten from work. Afterward, as we were driving to the movie theater to see Edge of Darkness with our discounted movie tickets from Costco, we were pulled over and cited for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign. Needless to say, that put a serious damper on the evening. After some awkward attempts on my part to help cheer my husband up (he was driving), we went ahead to the movie. (It was fun to see the bad guys get what they had coming to them.) We had planned to go out to dessert after the movie, but a series of miscommunications and assumptions led us to come home instead and go to bed frustrated and angry (at least, I was). I learned a lesson that I hope sticks with me: when someone just got a ticket (or something else bad happens to them), don't try to cheer them up. Just empathize. Be in the moment. Give it time. Perspective will come later, but sometimes you just need a chance to grieve, rant, be sad, be mad, whatever.
Last night we did get to finish our plans by having a dessert date at Cheesecake Factory where I ordered Chris's Outrageous Chocolate Cake. (It really is outrageous; I'm still working on it.) We talked about words and definitions and things that no one in the world would think funny except ourselves. We laughed and laughed and enjoyed each other. Then we came home and watched Ice Castles on Netflix instant watch. It wasn't at good a movie as I remembered it being when I was a teen.
That one was really long. I hope the rest are shorter.
2. Anger: I yelled at my four-year-old today while making my five-year-old cry by snapping at her. After a day filled with grace and many wonderful moments, I suddenly lost all patience. We got the math done, but I was sad to have lost some of the sparkle in their eyes. Maybe we can get it back tomorrow. Thank God for new days.
3. Bad Personal Hygiene: I don't get dressed every day, or even brush my hair or teeth. Today was one of those days.
4. Self-induced Sleep Deprivation: I stay up way too late nearly every night and pay for it in the morning. Tonight is one of those nights. I love to get up early to spend time with God, but most days it doesn't happen and I try to make it up at naptime.
5. Once a Week Whether They Need It Or Not: I only give my kids baths once a week. That may horrify some, but it's the way it is. It takes me all morning to get them all bathed. I just can't do it every day. So one day during the weekend is "bath day," and they all get clean, "whether they need it or not," as my husband says. (Believe me, by then they need it. - We do try to keep hands and faces clean in between, but their nails are truly disgusting by the end of the week.)
6. Procrastination: I hate cleaning bathrooms, putting away laundry, and picking up toys. So I procrastinate. And then, when it gets really bad, I yell at the kids for not keeping their bathroom clean, putting away their laundry, and picking up their toys. (I am gradually riding this cycle less and less, thankfully, but I still need help.)
I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I am a weak, sinful person who needs to admit that fact far more often than I actually do. I am learning to say I'm sorry more, but it's still hard for me. I need God, and I need to know how much I need Him. I want to be free of the need for approval from others, but I still crave it.
How about you? Want to share?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Good News!
Good news from Africa! The Lord has begun to turn the hearts of the tribal people away from the superstitious mingi practice that leads them to drown or abandon their children. Here's an excerpt from the Drawn from Water blog:
The meeting is over in the tribes and Lale has returned beaming with pride for what was accomplished. What started out as a meeting in one village with 60 people ended up being in two separate villages over the weekend and included nearly two hundred people! Lale said that there were people who had killed mingi children in the past crying and repenting for what they had done and in the end everyone there made a pact to try and stop the belief in mingi in the entire 130,000 people that live in the three tribes as soon as possible. Lale is planning another follow up meeting in the coming months to ensure that the progress continues and that the people who made the pact together feel supported.
We are so thankful that the meeting went well and that progress is finally being made, please continue to pray with us that these tribes start to see the light and know that what they are doing is wrong.
Also, Lale met with a family who is pregnant with a mingi child who was planning to kill the child. They agreed to give over the baby Lale when its born instead of killing it. The mother is 7 months pregnant and so we are expecting to have a newborn in the orphanage soon!
Levi
Sunday, February 14, 2010
True Beauty
Last spring, while Paul and I were in Las Vegas (he was attending a business conference), I had the wonderful opportunity to spend uninterrupted time alone with the Lord, seeking Him and letting Him speak to my heart. I found, to my dismay, that I was overwhelmed by the false images of beauty that surrounded me there. I couldn't just dismiss them as I'd hoped. Every billboard and sign seemed to mock me with how far short my body fell of the ideal presented. I knew that Paul said he found me beautiful, but I had such a hard time believing him. I knew that God must see things differently than what was presented there, but I couldn't imagine how. So, that first day, I spent the morning asking God to reveal true beauty to me. His answer so far exceeded my expectations that I have not struggled with this issue in a serious way since. (I had been struggling with this for years, ever since our rather disappointing honeymoon experience which I have shared in person before and may blog about sometime.)
Today I read a blog post that made me realize many women struggle with this issue. So I think it's time for me to share what God shared with me. Here is an excerpt from my journal. I hope it helps someone else as it's helped me.
Lord, teach me what is beautiful to You. You call me beautiful and flawless (Song of Songs 4:7). So does my husband. But I have such a hard time believing it. This week in Las Vegas, surrounded by seductive beauty advertised on billboards, signs, and flyers, I am confronted with the kind of beauty I inwardly desire. I compare myself to it. I feel that if I could attain it I could capture my husband's heart more fully. For if I looked more like those women, wouldn't he be so satisfied with me that he'd lose the temptation ever to look at another? Can't I have that kind of beauty?
This is how the Lord answered me in the quiet place of my listening heart:
"No, my beloved. I don't want your heart to lust after that kind of beauty. It is passing at best. I want you to pursue the kind of beauty that captures My heart. You already have this kind of beauty, and you are growing more beautiful daily. Let me remove the false idol from your heart.
"I am altogether lovely (Song of Songs 5:16). Do you think that I look like a fertility goddess? No, I look like My Son. Am I less because I look like a humble servant? A broken, bleeding man on a cross? That is the kind of beauty I want for you.
"Beauty is your face laughing at the day to come as you so fully rely of Me that its challenges don't daunt you (Proverbs 31:25). Beauty is your eyes looking with love on the ones I have given into your care. Beauty is your hair tied back so it isn't in your way while you work. Beauty is your body getting up in the morning to seek me and prepare breakfast for your family. Beauty is your belly stretched and marked by carrying My children. Beauty is your heart that keeps giving, your back that keeps bending, your hands that keep serving even when you are weary.
"Your husband does not desire to embrace another woman. That is why he turns away his eyes when their images are flaunted before him. He knows that they are a deception. I have already removed that false idol from his heart. Let me remove it from yours as well.
"Your husband does desire to embrace you, his wife. You are the one who serves him and his children and then, at the end of the day, turns to him with a heart full of love. Your body is beautiful to him. He does not see scars and callouses. He sees love.
"How could he not love you? He loves Me. He loves what I love. You are my good and perfect gift to him (James 1:17), matched to him in every way. You are the one he needs and wants. He desires no other to share his bed, his heart, and his life.
"Just as My Son did not wear his full glory when He walked the earth, neither do you. Just as He will soon be revealed in His full beauty, so will you. The world does not value His beauty. He was despised and rejected by men (Isaiah 53:3). But those who have eyes to see know that His beauty surpasses all others.
"I have eyes to see your beauty, My beloved. And you have captured your husband's heart with just one glance (Song of Songs 4:9). He is captivated by you. You are a work of art, My masterpiece. I see it, and so does he. Receive his love. Receive My love."
I pray that these words minister to your heart as they minister to mine.
Today I read a blog post that made me realize many women struggle with this issue. So I think it's time for me to share what God shared with me. Here is an excerpt from my journal. I hope it helps someone else as it's helped me.
Lord, teach me what is beautiful to You. You call me beautiful and flawless (Song of Songs 4:7). So does my husband. But I have such a hard time believing it. This week in Las Vegas, surrounded by seductive beauty advertised on billboards, signs, and flyers, I am confronted with the kind of beauty I inwardly desire. I compare myself to it. I feel that if I could attain it I could capture my husband's heart more fully. For if I looked more like those women, wouldn't he be so satisfied with me that he'd lose the temptation ever to look at another? Can't I have that kind of beauty?
This is how the Lord answered me in the quiet place of my listening heart:
"No, my beloved. I don't want your heart to lust after that kind of beauty. It is passing at best. I want you to pursue the kind of beauty that captures My heart. You already have this kind of beauty, and you are growing more beautiful daily. Let me remove the false idol from your heart.
"I am altogether lovely (Song of Songs 5:16). Do you think that I look like a fertility goddess? No, I look like My Son. Am I less because I look like a humble servant? A broken, bleeding man on a cross? That is the kind of beauty I want for you.
"Beauty is your face laughing at the day to come as you so fully rely of Me that its challenges don't daunt you (Proverbs 31:25). Beauty is your eyes looking with love on the ones I have given into your care. Beauty is your hair tied back so it isn't in your way while you work. Beauty is your body getting up in the morning to seek me and prepare breakfast for your family. Beauty is your belly stretched and marked by carrying My children. Beauty is your heart that keeps giving, your back that keeps bending, your hands that keep serving even when you are weary.
"Your husband does not desire to embrace another woman. That is why he turns away his eyes when their images are flaunted before him. He knows that they are a deception. I have already removed that false idol from his heart. Let me remove it from yours as well.
"Your husband does desire to embrace you, his wife. You are the one who serves him and his children and then, at the end of the day, turns to him with a heart full of love. Your body is beautiful to him. He does not see scars and callouses. He sees love.
"How could he not love you? He loves Me. He loves what I love. You are my good and perfect gift to him (James 1:17), matched to him in every way. You are the one he needs and wants. He desires no other to share his bed, his heart, and his life.
"Just as My Son did not wear his full glory when He walked the earth, neither do you. Just as He will soon be revealed in His full beauty, so will you. The world does not value His beauty. He was despised and rejected by men (Isaiah 53:3). But those who have eyes to see know that His beauty surpasses all others.
"I have eyes to see your beauty, My beloved. And you have captured your husband's heart with just one glance (Song of Songs 4:9). He is captivated by you. You are a work of art, My masterpiece. I see it, and so does he. Receive his love. Receive My love."
I pray that these words minister to your heart as they minister to mine.
Happy Birthday, Thunder!
Our little firecracker, appropriately named "Thunder," was born two years ago today.
Many people helped during the long periods of partial bedrest needed to help keep him safe before he was born. Here are pictures of some of them.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Thank you all! Love you!!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Dream of a King: Glory in Ethnic Diversity
I just finished listening to this sermon by Stuart Greaves, director of the International House of Prayer in Kansas City Night Watch. It was very encouraging to hear this honest, hopeful message about unity between races and cultures given in his warm, transparent manner.
The sermon starts about an hour into the video if you want to skip ahead.
Enjoy!
"The Dream of a King: Glory in Ethnic Diversity" by Stuart Greaves
The sermon starts about an hour into the video if you want to skip ahead.
Enjoy!
"The Dream of a King: Glory in Ethnic Diversity" by Stuart Greaves
Sunday, February 07, 2010
"Black Children Are an Endangered Species"
While writing a paper for my undergraduate degree about Margaret Sanger, I became convinced that there is a real agenda to erase "unwanted" people, including those of "undesirable" races. This video helps make this chilling reality clear.
"Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America."
For more information on this topic, click here.
"Jesus, I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and send revival to America."
For more information on this topic, click here.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
See? I Really Did Meet TobyMac!
As I posted on Facebook, Paul and I got to meet TobyMac a couple of weeks ago at the KLOVE/Air1 Radio staff banquet. We had such fun enjoying the private concert (my husband has SUCH a cool job!) and chatting with him for a few seconds after the photo was taken. When I mentioned how I've made my six kids wait in the car while I finish listening to his song, "Made to Love," he said, "Oh, you have six kids?" I expected him to continue with something typical like, "Wow, that's amazing." But what he said totally surprised me. He said, "We have five!" Paul confessed that we "cheated" by adopting one of them, and he told us that they had adopted twins. Suddenly, in our brief meeting, we went from strangers to friends.
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